Diaristic Notations

Vegetable Soup

2012-01-28T20:16:00.001-06:00

Cook lentils, split peas, or beans according to the package.

Cook an onion, 4 sticks of celery in a frying pan or wok. Bok choy too...

Heat up a box of vegetable broth (low salt) and about equal part of water.

Add about 4 carrots, 1 large potato (cut in 1" cubes), and lentils/peas/beans. Even frozen peas or a can of beans will work... but better and cheaper to make from scratch.

If your wife isn't looking, add other stuff that you like (like kale) and she doesn't. Chop it up small so she doesn't catch you.

Put in the cooked onion and celery.

Add a heaping teaspoon of salt, tablespoon of parsley, bay leafs (2), and heaping teaspoon of herbs de Provence.

Simmer until potato is soft.

You can blend some of the soup... but I like it as it is. It is almost a stew sometimes... or you can add water. Hot sauce is good too.

I guess you could add garlic, but since I don't like garlic I'm not going to tell you that.

You now have food for about 4 or 5 days.

Three Perfect Candidates: Political Pacifism

2012-01-28T14:15:00.006-06:00

I sat three periods of zazen this morning. I needed that, considering the amount of controversy that has passed in front of me this week. Some of it started when my long-time friend of 49 years, Miss S., called Rick Santorum an asshole. My zen teacher calls us all buddha. How can someone be buddha and an asshole? If that wasn't bad enough, my best commenter-to-my-blog-friend, Kate, said that asshole is pretty tame. She went on to say what might have a little more impact.

I think ‘demonizing’ goes more like, “He is too evil to rot in hell for all eternity. He is Cain, cursed to walk the earth until the end of time. The only reason he looks relatively young is because he eats aborted baby dumplings all the time. If he were Buddhist, he could look forward to being reborn as a maggot in a pile of crap. Farts are too good for him.”

I asked my palates teacher to rename "bomber wings" to "angel wings" in my effort to quiet things down. She complied.

As I sat this morning, I thought (what everyone does even though we are told to follow are breath) about how the Dalai Lama doesn't seem to have anger toward the Chinese who have removed him from his homeland. He writes,

Anger is the real destroyer of our good human qualities; an enemy with a weapon cannot destroy these qualities, but anger can. Anger is our real enemy.

So why do I say that we have three perfect candidates? One makes too much money and doesn't give enough of it back to the other 99.9%. The second has ethical issues. And the third calls a baby that resulted from a rape "a gift" (though he adds the adjective, "broken"). One might say of this almost biblical tale, that these are despicable human beings, using some of Kate's metaphors.

But no, this is an opportunity to see who we are in the face of our dislikes. These men are our brothers. We are part of the same spaceship, whirling through space. Our problems are their problems. They have a different perspective than we might have. But are they fodder for anger? Is anything?

Anger gets in the way of love. It eats at us until we are sick. It keeps us from enjoying life.

"Well, why don't they just change their views and pay more taxes, and then I'll be happier?" you say. That may happen, but then someone else will say or do something that will offend us and we'll be cranky all over again.

We can choose to respond differently.

In some studies done by scientists invited by the Dalai Lama to Northern India it is shown that thinking can change the brain. We can choose not to complain and we can choose not to be angry. The amazing part of this is that we stop being angry people. Our hearts can open up to our brothers and sisters, and we can talk to them rather that throw darts at them. I love that line in the Lord's Prayer, "And forgive us our trespasses,: as we forgive them that trespass against us." It is much easier to be angry. But you need to remember that anger goes in both direction. Buddha said (heard this today in a dharma talk) that when you put more wood on a fire it gets hotter.

Santorum, abortion, and equanimity.

2012-01-26T22:56:00.002-06:00

Below is an email conversation that I had with my friend "S" about Rick Santorum and abortion. I'm always surprised when people condemn others.

S: this guy is a real ass hole.

Article: GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum explained his opposition to abortion even in cases of rape during an interview Friday, saying that women who face such circumstances should "make the best out of a bad situation."

Asked by CNN's Piers Morgan what he would do if his own daughter approached him, begging for an abortion after having been raped, Santorum explained that he would counsel her to "accept this horribly created" baby, because it was still a gift from God, even if given in a "broken" way.

"Well, you can make the argument that if she doesn't have this baby, if she kills her child, that that, too, could ruin her life. And this is not an easy choice, I understand that. As horrible as the way that that son or daughter and son was created, it still is her child. And whether she has that child or she doesn't, it will always be her child, and she will always know that," Santorum said.

"And so to embrace her and to love her and to support her and get her through this very difficult time, I've always, you know, I believe and I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created -- in the sense of rape -- but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you. As you know, we have to, in lots of different aspects of our life we have horrible things happen. I can't think of anything more horrible, but nevertheless, we have to make the best out of a bad situation and I would make the argument that that is making the best."

(Video above via CNN)
Santorum has crusaded against abortion throughout his tenure as a legislator and presidential hopeful. A recent analysis of his time as a U.S. senator showed an almost obsessive tendency to talk about abortion-related subjects on the Senate floor. His strict views on the issue, as well as gay rights, have repeatedly drawn aggressive pushback from his detractors on the campaign trail.

In an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal on Monday, Santorum called Obama's support of women's reproductive rights "radical and extreme," arguing that this was illustrated through the president's recent statement on the 39th anniversary of Roe v. Wade.

Other hardline anti-abortion advocates have explained their views much like Santorum has. In 2010, Tea Party-backed Nevada Senate candidate Sharron Angle was asked to explain her belief that abortions were unacceptable even in the case of a girl being raped by her father.

"I think that two wrongs don't make a right," she answered. "And I have been in the situation of counseling young girls, not 13 but 15, who have had very at-risk, difficult pregnancies. And my counsel was to look for some alternatives, which they did. And they found that they had made what was really a lemon situation into lemonade."

Mr. Kim: I don't think this is so black and white. He's compassionate (in perhaps his limited way) for the well-being of both the child and the mother. Though you and I might direct our compassion in a different direction, I don't think he should be demonized for his view. There are at least three things to consider: the psychological distress that may be caused by an abortion, the distress of having an unwanted child on the mom and the child, and the life of the child. No solution is without costs.

S: It's clear that he thinks that the moment of conception = personhood. And then it would follow that if you think that since every time you have sex, you might be conceiving (since he also believes that any and all forms of birth control are "unnatural" and definitely out ) then, I guess, even married people [pre-marital sex??? oh my god!!! HELL, FIRE AND BRIMSTONE!!!] should not have sex at all if they don't want kids. But, that too is interfering with what is "natural" and not in [his] book. He seems ready to give others no choice and force his religious beliefs onto others in laws that he would support or veto. I am not sure that is a President's prerogative. Or ??? What about the right to privacy? He would work around that by making it again a crime to perform an abortion? What about the sacredness of medical records? We all have to sign papers now about privacy matters. The medical staff of a doctor can't even confirm with husband/wife an appointment!!! So now, the doctor is going to tell about performing an abortion. That is violating the trust between the woman and her doctor. What about supporting or not supporting personal religious practices: congress shall make no law that supports or does not support any particular religion - [even atheism]. Or? I interpret his religious beliefs are not just for him, but for everybody.

Mr. Kim: Abortion is the perfect opportunity to practice equanimity. As I meditated this evening, I started to mourn for the apple seeds that I throw on the compost pile. How insensitive of me, I thought. Perhaps these seeds should have a better opportunity to sprout. Maybe they will just decay and become dirt.

Abortion is about drawing a line. Actually drawing many lines. We can kill cows but not dogs. We can eat carrots and apples, but not canaries and cats. You could define personhood as when you become an adult, or even when a couple beds down together... or anywhere in-between. Mr Santorum has his views. Everyone has views. Is one view "right" and another "wrong"? Of are views merely fashions, constructed from the world through our particular lens.

Part of Santorum's religion is to have others do as he believes. Others do not have his religion. Is this a reason to hate the man... to despise him? I think not. Don't vote for him if you want, but why get riled up about it? He draws the line in one sandbox, you draw it in another. Yes, persuade others to do as you do... but don't demonize him. He's a sincere and conscientious human being, as you are.

Kate's comments on prosperity.

2012-01-25T11:48:00.000-06:00

Prosperity should appeal to everyone. --- Mr. Kim

True. By definition, being prosperous is good. How individuals define prosperity might be different.

Dictionary.com defines prosperity: 1. a successful, flourishing, or thriving condition, especially in financial respects; good fortune.

Any compassionate person would wish prosperity for all. The question is the means toward that prosperity. And what is the cost in terms of money and freedom?

I doubt it will be from taking from the rich and giving to the poor. --- Mr. Kim

Is ‘taking from the rich and giving to poor’ different from ‘redistributing resources more equitably among all peoples’?

Both statements are biased. And each in a different direction. I question who has the right to make giving to charity a law.

Are we talking opportunity or assets? --- Mr. Kim

Assets equal resources. Access to resource is opportunity. The absence of resource is lack of opportunity.

Equality of opportunity infers better access to education, health care, fresh air and water, etc. for all. --- Mr. Kim

Education, health care, fresh air and water are resources. Access to resource is opportunity. Equality of opportunity is Equality of ‘resource’. Resource equals assets.

The advantage of improving resources is that then everyone's assets can grow. Who should be the one doing this? Who can best do this? Who knows best what the individual needs?

I can't think of communist/socialist societies that have provided prosperity and equality of opportunity. So I'll say that Karl Marx is not good. --- Mr. Kim

I can’t think of any society were there is peace and goodwill toward all beings. Does that mean Buddha is not good?

I think the division of labor and the free market have contributed greatly to peace and goodwill. Not necessarily "intentional" goodwill, but knowing that you need your neighbor for your survival encourages you to treat her well.

Kennedy had it wrong when he said, "...ask what you can do for your country." --- Mr. Kim

Because he should have said . . .

He should have said, "ask what your country can do for you." That is the basis by which many people will vote. I like better Abe Lincoln's "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth." The cumulative effect should be awesome of everyone voting for a president that would make them more prosperous. Wouldn't everyone become more prosperous and therefore the country would be more prosperous? And prosperous in the way that people want to be prosperous. There is a "virtue to selfishness" as Ayn Ryan's book indicated.

Karl Marx: Is it good or bad? Prosperity and Equality for all.

2012-01-24T11:54:00.000-06:00

Kate asked if sounding like Karl Marx is good or bad. I've been thinking about that. And Mr. Obama will be talking tonight about how he (the government) will provide prosperity and equality should he be reelected.

Prosperity should appeal to everyone. Everyone, that is, except the environmentalists who might infer that if we have more then the environment will be further depleted. Prosperity is a goal for many. We believe that we'll be a little happier and will suffer a little less with prosperity.

How can the government provide prosperity for all? I doubt it will be from taking from the rich and giving to the poor. That will (superficially) help the poor, but will not contribute to the prosperity of the rich. We'll hear tonight how the government will increase prosperity. Most of what the government does, when it does anything, is spend money. Whose money? Our money, of course. So to increase prosperity, there must be a "value added." They must spend our money more efficiently than we can. For example, when I go to the grocery, I get $10 of fruits and veges. If Uncle Sam takes my $10 and buys me groceries, the inference is that I'll get $11 of fruits and veges. My suspicion is that I'll end up with about $3 of corn syrup... but we'll see.

Equality. That's a big one. Are we talking opportunity or assets? Robin Hood provides equality of assets. Superficially, I believe, because Robin Hood destroys incentive. Why should I try so hard if so much will be taken from me? Or should I hide my $$$ on the Cayman Islands so that I can take care of myself on a rainy day. Equality of opportunity sounds great to me. I suspect that we have more of that in America than has ever existed in any country ever... and we have a long way to go. I'm hoping Obama will have some good suggestions on how equality can be provided. Equality of opportunity infers better access to education, health care, fresh air and water, etc. for all.

I can't think of communist/socialist societies that have provided prosperity and equality of opportunity. So I'll say that Karl Marx is not good. But more importantly (in my view) is that the shortcoming of the planned society is that we have less freedom to pursue our aims. I might have tremendous skills to practice medicine, but tremendous interest in making bad art. I'd rather live where I can pursue bad art. In a planned society, my life will be dictated by the boss. Kennedy had it wrong when he said, "...ask what you can do for your country."

$20,000 an hour

2012-01-21T20:01:00.003-06:00

Yesterday a Facebook commenter to my previous post pointed out that Romney earned $20,000 an hour last year, suggesting that no one can be worth that much. Yet he was paid that much. Worth in economics is what the market is willing to pay. The Museum of Modern Art reopened their doors a few years ago charging $20 admission. They are still packed. Is it worth it? Obviously, if people are willing to pay that.

Anonymous wrote,

The wealthy executives and people who have accumulated wealth have done so because they have taken some of the financial worth of their masses of employees. They've already taken money from the bottom, and higher levels of taxes at the top acknowledges that fact and re-balances the system."

This statement could have been written by Karl Marx. The inference that wealth was accumulated because employees are short-changed is highly contentious. "...taking money from the bottom..." suggests that companies should pay their workers more than the going rate. For the vast number of publicly owned companies, paying employees more would mean that the stockholders get less dividends, the companies would have less cash on hand, and/or CEOs would get paid less (or perhaps all three). Either of these actions would start a vicious circle. If the stockholders get less dividends, the stock and the profits will go down. Then there would be less money for the generous CEOs to give away, presumably to rebalance the system. And the CEOs, perhaps not being so altruistic, would go to work for a different company willing to pay them more.

I don't expect to settle this argument. I do wish more people would voluntarily share their riches with those less fortunate. It seems that the great benefactors usually choose to give to the truly unfortunate, or to cultural or educational institutions. And maybe some will pay their workers enough to "balance" the system. I can not think of a business that does that, but maybe one does exist.

Or another note, I would mow my small lawn for $5. Yet, even with the great unemployment we have, I can not find anyone to do it for less that $20. Why is that?

Why is life not fair?

Last year, [Apple] earned over $400,000 in profit per employee, more than Goldman Sachs, Exxon Mobil or Google. Much of this money could be distributed to their employees... or it could use the money to hire workers to make their products in USA (instead of China). Is this what they should do? What would happen to their stock if they did this? And what would happen to their research and development?

Romney pays a lot of taxes.

2012-01-20T22:25:00.001-06:00

I just read Taxes at the Top, by Paul Krugman. He dished out his usual garbage, this time talking about how little in taxes Romney pays. Let's say that Romney made 387 million last year. At 15% that would be almost 58 million in taxes. For most of us, that's a lot of money. I suspect it goes way way beyond the benefits he derives from the Federal government. In addition, he pays state tax and sales tax, and a host of other taxes embedded in the prices of the items he buys. Let's say that someone who earns 100,000 pays at a 37% rate. They might end up paying 20 or 25 thousand. That's 3-4% as much taxes. Please tell me, Robin Hood, why Romney should be paying more than he is? I think 58 million is plenty.

P.S. This is not a paid ad for Romney.

P.S.S. I'm not voting for Krugman.

Answering a question about buddha nature with a question.

2012-01-16T13:21:00.002-06:00

I asked, "if everything changes why doesn't buddha nature, which is unchanging and eternal, change?" Kosho answered, "does it matter?" I said "no." The crowd laughed, and we went on to the next question.

It was an easy out for me. Kosho implied from the question that he thought the answer was no. But is it? Janie came up to me afterwards and said that medieval Jewish scholars debated this question and she would send me the name of a book about it. But until then...

Perhaps the changing world is the relative world (in Buddhist terms) and buddha nature exists in the absolute world. And, so I'm told, both exist together. Things that we really value, like love, don't (in themselves) come and go. Our "love" for something may cease, but the "love" itself doesn't disappear.

Buddha nature is both an ideal and a reality within ourselves. It is the part that we come back to when we are authentic. It is the response of a mother protecting her only child (from a sutra we chant). Though Buddhists claim they are without goals, I think it is a goal to meet and entertain this buddha nature part of ourselves. It is who we are.

Perhaps for those who believe in rebirth it is that part of us that we can't get rid of... the sticky part. Maybe it allows us to measure change. Without it there is only dukkha. Yes, it does matter both that it is and that it doesn't go away. Very much so.

And... if buddha nature did change, and did go away... then we would have to deal with that. It would be a different hand of cards.

It isn't what you plan.

2012-01-14T09:46:00.002-06:00

I told a priest about a Southern India vegetarian restaurant. He said he didn't like Indian food... and then went on to tell me the other foods he didn't like. I asked him about the Buddhist idea of "no preferences" and he said that he tries. Then he asked the head priest if he liked nut bread, knowing that too much of that was served at the monastery where they used to reside. The head priest said that he liked it (or maybe he said he hated it). In any case, I asked, what about the buddha who had no preferences? He said that all those buddhas are dead.

Yesterday I had big plans. I was going to pick up an art work from an exhibition, get an "over 65" bus pass, buy some secret ingredient (tapioca flour) for my soon to be successful (I hope) experiment with making perfect non-gluten bread, and see the Henry Horenstein photo exhibit. My challenge was not to waste a lot of time or gas.

I knew that you got the bus pass from the main office for Austin Metro. It was on the East side of Austin. So I went there, only to find out that I was wrong... it was downtown. I thought of the positives... that I had now seen a part of Austin new to me, and I had an opportunity here to have a disappointment and to let it "roll off my back" as Jeanie told me to do once in St. Louis.

Then I took off to the Horenstein exhibit (which I enjoyed tremendously). Animals shot at zoos and aquarians. I thought it was between where I was, and downtown. I set my GPS to the new location, and discovered that I passed downtown towards the west side to get there. Oh well, I thought, next time I'll know better.

Then I went to pick up my artwork, which was not only in downtown Austin near the other Metro office, but included free parking for the day. After returning to my car and wrapping the work in my yoga mat, I decided to walk to the Metro office. I got the pass, and then realized that I would have to ride the bus six times over the next two years to pay for it ($3). I was then within walking distance to a couple of museums. So I walked to the first one, which turned out to be further than I remembered. This is good, I thought, I get to walk more. On the way I found a third museum. It was closed while they were setting up an exhibit.

Then I got there (or at least where Google said it should be, and found a deserted museum. I checked Google again and concluded that when it merged with a second museum it had actually dissolved into nothing. Oh, great, I though, another opportunity to not get disappointed.

So then I went to the museum that it had merged with. I didn't think I'd have to pay there because I had donated a work to them for a future exhibit. I got there and the door had a padlock on it. I figured that this must be the wrong door... so I walked to the other side of the museum and found the door locked. Then I walked back to the locked door and read the sign. Not open until today. Another opportunity to enjoy the nice sunny day in Austin, I thought.

At City Hall, where I had my artwork, I got to see the folks who were occupying City Hall. Countless sleeping bags were set up on the steps, and two guys were throwing a football back and forth. Four cops were giving a hard time to a guy who'd been drinking. Throughout my walk through the downtown area I found an interesting assortments of street people and home people. It took a second look sometimes to tell the difference.

Finally, I returned to my car at City Hall, and drove off to Natural Grocers to get the Tapioca and some organic short grain rice (much better than long grain). I found also some non-gluten pretzels... that I shouldn't have bought... and if I bought, shouldn't have eaten. But I did and I did.

This might have sounded like a shaggy dog story... but it was really a great day. Lots of disappointments took me to see things I've never seen, and an opportunity to "go with the flow" rather than to lament that life isn't how I planned.

P.S. Thanks to Angela for telling me about a cool new 99¢ iPad program called "Artpad" that I used to make the image above.

More on Vulture Capitalism

2012-01-12T13:45:00.002-06:00

You raise some interesting questions in the tradition of "Uncle Miltie," but the memory of what Carl Icahn did to TWA and by extension to the St. Louis metropolitan region gives me the creeps. I remain suspicious of these takeover artists. H.

It is interesting how different things are seen from different vantage points. For the worker and her family who loses a job because Romney does what he is hired to do, the takeover is a disaster. For the companies that prosper and hire more people, Romney is a breath of fresh air. Growth is painful. Maybe sometimes it probably doesn't need to be as painful as it is. But who knows?

The other objection to Romney's work at Bain capital is that he charged so much for his services. This complaint takes me back to Christ kicking out the money changers, explicating the view that making money is evil, and the more money one makes the more evil they are. In my book, letting companies fail is evil if someone could save them.

You might think that I'm advocating Romney as a candidate. Not at this point. I'm just bothered by the attacks on vulture capitalism and making money.

Vulture Capitalism

2012-01-11T13:04:00.003-06:00

Someone quoted the Dalai Lama the other day saying that the essence of Buddhism was being kind. Or maybe it was being nice. Or maybe it doesn't matter.

Yesterday there were criticisms of Mitt Romney because he failed with his assistance in the takeover at Kansas City's Worldwide Grinding Systems steel mill. Newt Gingrich claimed this was the wrong type of capitalism. He did not acknowledge that Romney was hugely successful as a takeover artist and in the end probably created far more jobs that he lost. What would kitten capitalism be? Would you go into a failing company and tell everyone that they could keep their jobs, and that nothing would change, and hopefully things would get better?

In this case "nice" or "kind" is not so obvious. Is "have a heart" always the best policy?

How to post a comment on a blog post.

2012-01-10T15:11:00.002-06:00

Some have asked how to post a comment on a blog. The secret is to click on the word "comments" which is circled in red above.

Then you pull down the "jump menu" and choose who you want to comment as. If you want to be anonymous... and/or you don't have a Google account, you can choose anonymous.

Then click Publish... and... your response will be deeply appreciated. I can't read your mind, so if you do have thoughts about something I've said, I'd love to hear them.

Thanks,

Kim

What was Buddha Thinking?

2012-01-09T22:15:00.001-06:00

The RISD Museum Buddha
by Pujakins

The large wooden Buddha
Sits placidly in a quiet room
Far from his native land.

No priests tend his temple.
He smiles on museum visitors
Peace in his glance.

Once he contained prayers
Dropped through openings in his lotus legs
Does he miss his worshipers?

I sit quietly on a bench
Breathing in his vast presence
Breathing out awareness of peace.

On Mondays at noon I go to one of my favorite classes. There are five of us, and a Zen priest, Kosho. We each read from a book of quotations... and then we interpret the quote. Usually Kosho will comment, leading us toward a deeper understanding.

Today I sat on the other side of the table and faced this Buddha above. He silently meditated despite our stumbling over such concepts as the difference between pain and suffering, the significance of ordinary things, and the importance of this moment. Buddha (or, as my wife pointed out, a photo of a statue of the Buddha), sat quietly and did not flinch as we revealed what we call in Zen our "beginner's mind."

I felt there were seven of us in the room, with Buddha teaching by example. 50 years ago I read the Tao statement, "He who speaks does not know. He who knows does not speak." The Buddha didn't say a word during the entire class. Normally we don't speak either, except when it is our turn with the quote... or during the the last 10 minutes. But our minds go a million miles a minute, generating countless "dukkha" as we think about what we'd like to say about someone else's quote, what we did earlier in the day, and what we'll do after class.

We disband sharply at 1pm. The Buddha doesn't get up, doesn't flinch, and doesn't even gloat that he no longer needs to struggle with such concepts. How did he figure things out? Did he one day have "beginner's mind?"

I do not know.

Dialogue with Angela on Freedom, Veganism, and the Environment

2012-01-08T16:01:00.000-06:00

Is there a new priest at the zen center who is vegan or recommending that Buddhist followers should be vegan? I just wondered if that had something to with you going back to vegan? Are you off cheese too?

I haven't eaten cheese for a long time ... except in some weak moments.

No ... I believe that all the priests other than Trevor eat meat. And Trevor is gone.

I'm feeling much more peaceful not eating meat.

Remember that the monks asked Buddha if he'd make vegan a rule. He said no ... that we'd have to eat what is given to us. And he died from eating bad pork ... that he knew was bad, but did not want to insult the giver.

So the stories go.

I think each person should do what is right for themselves:)

How about if that means depleting the Earth of its resources. I heard yesterday that if everyone on Earth lived as we (Americans) did, we'd need five Earths.

Imagine we are on a ship. There are limited resources on the ship, and we want the ship to go on as long of a journey as possible. We start with the premise that we'll all be free to use and to refrain from using resources as each of us sees fit. Then the environmental committee, charged with creating a sustainable environment, notices that we are depleting resources at an alarming rate. What do we do?

I believe that laws are a last resort, but certainly necessary in a case like this. In Austin, we are just allowed to water our lawns once a week when there is a shortage. I do not see an alternative to some laws like that one.

Each of us is free to follow or break the law. But, obviously, there are usually consequences for those who break it.

I think back on that anime presentation we went to where that man talked about the people in the future mining the landfills for plastic. Who knows what is in the future?

People should be taught to be more mindful of the earth for their own future. It is not enough for them to care about the future of their children. If they were led to believe that they would be reborn on earth to live in the mess that they created then they might be more mindful. Instead they are taught that they will be reborn in heaven where things are good, so they just trash up where they live now. Sad, but the reborn into a living creature and eating the flesh of the living is all mixed into that equation. Who can say what is right and wrong? Who is qualified that walks on this earth? That is what I would like to know.

I like your point that the concept of Heaven doesn't encourage people to take care of Earth. Unless we say that part of the resume that one turns in on judgement day will include how they took care of their spaceship (Earth).

Who is qualified to make judgements? Nobody knows anything for sure. But we need to be able to predict consequences in order to live. I don't drive 100 mph because I predict it might lead to disaster. So I listen to myself and others about the risks of various behaviors and act accordingly. Those who like the "rush" from risks live dangerously. Others live more conservatively.

It isn't a matter of absolutes like right and wrong. It is a matter of “it seems that this (or that) behavior will lead to these consequences.” We are constantly making decisions based on our sense of what might happen if we do or don't.

If I can keep my hummingbird feeders full for the hummingbirds that are stuck here for the cold winter and I can keep my flowers alive for the monarch butterflies that are stuck here too and I do not use poison on my yard and not eat other living flesh animals, then I am doing what I can in a small way. If everyone did something in a small way to make the Earth a better place then it would add up to something big :)

We certainly need a mix of all kinds of people doing all kinds of things. Some say that the situation is too critical on Earth for people to just go about their business. We generally go to war when we see no other options (as trying to stop Hitler in WWII). I do not know if we are at the point where we should drop our paint brushes and blow up industrial complexes. And I have no idea if that would make things worse (though I suspect that it would).

I agree that if everyone did something small it would add up to something big.

Born again Vegan

2012-01-06T21:11:00.007-06:00

This is my second day of being a vegan, after about a six month break. Before that, I did it for about ten years. I lost track it was so long.

I do have a rather serious problem: I have a bunch of frozen food in the freezer that might have meat in it. Unlike most of life's problems, I guess the solution is pretty easy. Eat it? Throw it away? Yes... that's what I'll do... throw suspect food away.

And another problem: I am getting closer at making good non-gluten bread and the recipe requires two eggs. So tomorrow I'm going to get some egg substitute... and then hope for the best. My wife is having a some people over on Sunday and I'm going to make bread to go with the soup.
So why did I become a vegan again?

Five reasons I can think of:

1) It is better for the environment. There are lots of facts I could give. This is one about the comparative water use to produce a pound of beef or a pound of corn:

Just a pound of beef! Conservatively taking 2000 gallons (I've read elsewhere that it can be as much as 5000 gallons) as the means for producing a pound of beef, think about how much 2000 gallons of water is. How much water do you drink in a day? A gallon? Half a gallon? How many gallons of water do you think you use when you shower? 30-40 gallons? Every time you flush the toilet in a day, how many gallons? 15-20? Every time you wash your hands? 2-3 gallons? Let’s go for the high end and say that the average human uses 100 gallons of water in a day. After 20 average days of your use of water, you would have created 1 pound of beef. 1 pound. You could conservatively eat for 2-3 days on a pound of beef. Now think about the fact that it is possible to take four times as much water to create a pound of beef—80 days worth of your daily water consumption to make 1 pound of beef. The water that you use over about 3 months time will produce a pound of beef. ONE POUND.

Now look at the alternative. A pound of corn is grown using 100-250 gallons of water. How long will that last? 2–3 days? Obviously a pound of corn would get boring and it isn’t nutritionally sound, but if all you had was a pound of corn, you could eat it over 2–3 days. Now looking at the high end, if we’ve reasoned that the average American uses 100 gallons of water a day, how many days worth of water would it take to make a pound of corn? 2–3 days. And how long could you live on a pound of corn? 2-3 days. (http://enviroveggie.com/)

2) It is more healthful:

There is abundant evidence that vegetarian diets are more healthful than the average American diet, especially for preventing, treating or reversing heart disease and reducing the risk of cancer.¹ Research has shown a low-fat vegetarian diet is the single most effective way to stop progression of coronary artery disease or prevent it altogether. Several other health conditions, such as diabetes,² obesity,³ gallstones,⁴ and kidney stones,⁵ are much less common in vegetarians. The health benefits of a vegetarian diet may be linked to the fact that vegetarians tend to eat less animal fat, protein and cholesterol and more fiber and antioxidants.⁶ Simply put, the fewer animal foods and the more varied, whole plant foods consumed, the healthier the individual will be compared to the general population. (http://www.vegsource.com/articles/veg_definition.htm)

3) Eating non-meats is not connected with violence and animal maltreatment. It surprises me when I hear about someone going to jail for mistreating a dog or cat, but never hear about any penalties for slaughtering a pig or cow. I don't think one can be a peaceful human being and at the same time be an accessory to hurting animals.

4) Meat is expensive. Better meat (like animals that have been treated well with healthful diets) costs even more. Pounds of potatoes that can be grown on an acre: 40,000. Pounds of beef produced on an acre: 250.

5) It reinforces the idea that Earth (and its animals) are not solely for the benefit of humans. I like to think that we share Earth with our furry friends.

Not convinced? See http://www.consumercide.com/js/index.php/food-supply/39-necessarily-vegetarian/379-how-to-win-an-argument-with-a-meat-eater

Any of these ideas would be sufficient. And I remember that Hitler was a vegetarian and the Dali Lama (on the advice of his doctor) ate meat. That helps me realize that those who make other choices are not evil and I'm sure that can find five good reasons for their indulgences as I found with mine.

No Self for Dummies

2012-01-05T15:19:00.000-06:00

I was feeling guilty for not explaining "No Self" better to H and C. I was driving along and then it hit me. "Self" is actually much harder to understand than "No Self" because it is invented much as G_D, Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Stork... are invented. Where is this "Self" to which we are so attached? When was it born? Does it die? Is it fully developed early on?

Having realized that "Self" is totally a construct of our mind I realized that "no Self" is a much clearer view of this changing entity ("I") that, as well, is also a construct of our mind.

Sorry, C, that I couldn't do it in 30 words or less. Another challenge.

This monologue hurts my brain...

2012-01-04T10:53:00.000-06:00

My friend Hans wrote that about my last post about "no self."

Exactly, Hans. The brain cannot comprehend very much. It is the wrong tool for the job. Our western delusion is that we can figure things out with brain power. Socrates (the epitome of Western thinking) said that it is better to be dead because then our heart (emotions) won't get in the way and we could see things clearly. I doubt that he found that to be true after he took the hemlock.

Our brain constructs lots of garbage—convenient ways for us to understand the world and for us to relieve suffering. It is not our best friend, yet we rely on it "to sort things out."

Just as I posted yesterday that everything changes I read that "Buddha Nature" is eternal and never changes. Now that hurts my brain.

My understanding of "no self"

2012-01-03T23:18:00.004-06:00

My main question is this: If there is no "self" ("The "self" is itself a mental formation - a product of mind. It is therefore empty of inherent existence."), then what does Karma, or the result of our actions attach to? And further, what is reborn if not the self?
I know big questions. Can you answer them in 30 words or less? : )

Key to Buddhism is the idea of impermanence. Things are always changing. There is no self in the sense that there is no abiding (enduring) entity. Our karma attaches to that which is changing, and our karma (or actions) contributes to those changes.

Suzuki Roshi was one of the most important Zen teachers who brought Zen to America. He said,

"The teaching—the teaching that [laughter]—the teaching that everything is changing—in Japanese, shogyō-mujō[1]—or Chinese shogyō-mujō—teaching that everything is changing. This teaching can be—could be understand in two ways: the one—the teaching as the law of the truth. This teaching is always true, you know, whether we observe it or not. The—so—if everything is changing, that means non-substantiality. There is no substantial being, you know. We are only composed being from various elements. So we are non-substantial being. (a) Non-substantiality."

When I discuss my parents with my sisters we realize we each had different parents. Each of us constructed different parents, and our parents evolved and responded differently to each of us.

I like this description of rebirth from Wikopedia,

"Rebirth in Buddhism is the doctrine that the evolving consciousness (Pali: samvattanika-viññana)[1][2] or stream of consciousness (Pali: viññana-sotam,[3] Sanskrit: vijñāna-srotām, vijñāna-santāna, or citta-santāna) upon death (or "the dissolution of the aggregates" (P. khandhas, S. skandhas)), becomes one of the contributing causes for the arising of a new aggregation. The consciousness in the new person is neither identical nor entirely different from that in the deceased but the two form a causal continuum or stream."

Aggrevates are form, feeling, perception, mental formation or volition, and consciousness. It is the way that we experience the world.

The word "stream" is key in the quote above. One thing leads to another to another to another.

Rebirth happens throughout our life, with each breath, with each time we walk into a room, with each day of our life. Zen people aren't very concerned with the rebirth at death, though a rare few say you are not a Buddhist if you don't "believe" in it. Even the Buddha said that we had enough to think about in this life (to reduce suffering). He was not interested in what happened next.

The real issue to me is how do we know things. Is it with the discursive mind, or is it the heart and intuition? You know that part of you that makes artistic decisions. "That's too close... that's too red... that's shape needs to be a little sharper." The difficulty in teaching art is that there is no way to really explain any of this. I was asked, "how do you know when to take a picture?" I had no idea how to answer that question. A famous violinist was asked how he did this very difficult movement. He could never do it again.

The most interesting thing about Zen for me is learning to understand without analyzing. Someone like Mr. Wikopedia could have all the right answers to your questions, yet would not really know anything in the same way that art historians do not know how to make a painting. As much as they know about the artistic process (much more than we do), they had no idea how to generate and develop an artistic idea.

Anger: Decision or Emotion

2012-01-03T12:35:00.001-06:00

But Kim, anger isn't a decision, it's an emotion. Taking action from anger is a decision, but that is not synonymous with the raw emotion. I think a person who never gets angry is either someone who has become enlightened, or else is someone who doesn't know or admit to their anger. Every human swims in the same pool of raw emotions, and I hear that enlightened beings once did too. I think that pretending, avoiding or debating whether or not to be angry is also part of being human. But it's not going to get us into heaven (wink). That's mental activity trying to decide something good or bad about human nature. I think. :)

But the main point for me is what's underneath. In my experience, sadness & fear are under or coupled with anger, so I say it's even practical to listen to the anger. It's a matter of care, to notice the fear, discover the connection, and take action that will help. After all, we aren't striving to be robots, it's an open heart we want more of. I think that making good decisions that effect life on Earth can only come from having the capacity to feel all the feelings, because raw emotions are our barometers that direct us in life, whether we know it or not.—Ginger

Decisions seem to come from the conscious mind, while emotions from the unconscious. Yet we read that several seconds before we make conscious decisions the outcome can be predicted from unconscious activity of the brain.

One question to me is whether we can do anything consciously. Can we make decisions? Can we control our anger... or our love?

Sometimes we are waiting for a parking space and someone sneaks into an open space that we've patiently had our eye upon. Some will be furious. Some will even say something rude to the space stealer. Some might try to give them a black eye. This would definitively be taking action from anger.

And some won't be angry at all. They will just say to themselves, "time to find a new space."

How did those people get that way? Good parenting? Good teachers? Smarts?

Probably a combination. I don't think the person is necessarily "repressed." They may realize, like my GPS often does, that it is time to recalculate.

Angry about the pollution

2012-01-02T10:09:00.000-06:00

A friend wrote me that reading about pollution made her angry. I know I've written many times before about anger, but I'll do it again.

What struck me, as I though about her anger, is that two things have happened. One is that there is mercury in the ocean that has become part of the fish that we eat. I first became aware of the effects of mercury from the Minamata photos by Eugene Smith. The second thing that has happened is that someone is angry because there is mercury in the ocean.

Many say that the anger is good because it leads to attempts to clean up the environment. But who cleans up the anger, which is a kind of pollution itself? Is it necessary to be angry to act? You see a speeding car coming toward a kid in the street. Do you need to be angry to pull the kid from its path?

Here's a good link on anger, with quotes from the Buddha and the Bible.

Seafood Watch

2012-01-01T19:47:00.001-06:00

The Monterey Bay Aquarium has a website that lets you know what seafood you should eat. The two issues seem to be the sustainability of the fisheries, and the mercury in the fish.

Environmental Defense Fund has issued a consumption advisory for longline-caught albacore tuna due to elevated levels of mercury. No consumption advisories are listed for troll- or pole-caught albacore as these methods catch younger tuna with lower mercury levels.

This sounded much easier than I thought until I started looking for Pacific Sardines. Word from Monterey is that you should only get Pacific sardines, because the Atlantic fisheries are eliminating the sardines by catching too many of them. And guess which ones cost more. At Costco, good sardines are a little more than a $1 a can, but they are from Morocco which is a no no. So I passed them by, and went to three groceries before I found some from the Pacific. $3.78 a can!

So what did I do? Quit eating sardines. The same with tuna... after I finish the three cans that I already have.

There was an artist, Mr. Otis, who would only sell his paintings for cans of sardines. Since he was from the Pacific Northwest, I'm hoping that his sardines were the good kind.

So what would you do if you liked sardines? Eat your wallet, or the Atlantic sardines?

Banks aren't the culprit.

2012-01-01T11:18:00.000-06:00

I read something the other day about banks. (click on link to read article). It has bothered me since I read it because I don't believe banks are doing the wrong thing by investing money rather than lending money.

At the beginning of the article Stiglitz talks about the bailout. He says that we did it because we were told that the American economy couldn't function without the overnight lending. I don't know if this is true, but if it is, it indicates how, after years of any service, we become a slave to that service provider.

Then he says that the banks used some of their money for bonuses. This suggests that we gave them too much, and/or that they didn't need as much as they said they did. I hope that they lose some credibility over this. You give your kid your car keys... and the car doesn't ever come home. You then hesitate the next time they ask for the keys.

He speaks of the lending rate being close to zero. This was done so the government could borrow lots of money, and also so the government wouldn't have to pay lots of interest. But for the average Joe, it didn't mean easy money. Not for buying a house. Mortgages are still hard to get. Car loans are easier and cheaper. That is because the car companies know that they won't sell cars unless they can entice people with low interest and low downpayment. Cars can be repossessed easier than houses (esp. with used cars being sold at a premium), so it is good business to loan money on them. House mortgages are a risky investment for banks. Why should banks take chances for a low rate of return?

Stiglitz admonishes the banks. He says they aren't doing their job. I think they are. They are making a profit for their stockholders (as their charters suggest). It isn't their job to be charities. And if we criticize them for not engaging in risky investments, as home mortgages are (especially at low rates), aren't we really contradicting what we accused them of in the past... of engaging in practices that are too risky. How can they win?

This is not to say that people don't need mortgages. It is just that the price of mortgages is artificially low, so that banks (rightfully) don't want to do them.

People pay much higher interest on their credit cards. At some cost, maybe someone would start to loan more money on houses. But I don't think we should point at the banks as the culprit.

Seven Old Images

2011-12-28T22:44:00.004-06:00

My wife, looking for old photos of waterfalls and geysers for Stephanie, found six negatives and one postcard. You can click on the images to enlarge them.

This was taken in "Habana, Cuba" in 1941. My uncle Elvin
and my aunt Virginia are 2nd and 3rd from the right.

My sister Sandy, and the niece (Janis)
and nephew of our neighbor, Von Adams.
I think this and the ones below were taken in 1957.

My sister, Gail, on horse in Cannon Beach, Oregon.
I think that's Bobby (Janis's brother) on the right.
My sisters and I worked as guides at the stables, but at
this time I was too young, so I worked at the Burro rink
on the left. For 25¢
I'd put the kids on the burro
and let them go around the rink 8 times.
The best part of the job was that girls would come and
talk to me... esp. Janice (not Janis, who I liked too). Janice
died in a car accident the day of her wedding.

My grandmother, Rebecca Tarlow. She was born
in Russia, raised in London, studied at the London
Conservatory of Music, and was always worried that
I was or wasn't eating right.

L to R: Rebecca Tarlow, Elvin Tarlow (her son and my uncle),
and Edmond Mosley (my dad) in Cannon Beach, Oregon.

My cousin, Mark Kriss

Kate's worries about the poor.

2011-12-22T20:33:00.002-06:00

Kate: I just don’t understand how ‘improving the education system of the poor’ is different than 'giving money to the poor’ because you’re going to need money to improve the educational system.

Kim: I think the difference relates to that saying, "Give a man a fish and he has food for the day. Teach him to fish and he has food for life."

Kate: Obama had a speech before he became president where he said, “When 2/3 of all new jobs require higher education or advanced training, knowledge is the most valuable skill you can sell.” I just want you to recognized that education is a commodity that is for sale. A person needs money to get the education. And a person needs an education to get out of poverty. So where does that money meant to improve education come from? The poors? They ain’t got money.

Kim: The average American works about 50% of the year to pay one tax or another. That is too much. But first, there is a question about whether money is key to improving education. In Washington, D.C. something like $24,600 is spent per student. And they have one of the worse educational systems in the US. Would more money make it better? I don't know. But if we really need more money I'd take it from one of many agencies that could be eliminated.

Kate: Would you support or oppose a tax increase on wealthy people to support schools in an economically suppressed neighborhood (area where property values are low)?

Kim: Though I wouldn't support any tax increase because I think we are taxed more than enough... and the wealthy do pay in many ways beyond "income tax," I'm not sure how taxed monies should be distributed. Maybe all schools in a city should get the same amount per student.

It is a tough one. If one city did that and the schools in the well-to-do neighborhoods went downhill, then parents would either move to another city, or send their kids to private schools.

Kate: Would you support or oppose a tax increase on wealthy people to support a school lunch program that feed students who’s parents make much less money?

Kim: Again, Uncle Sam taxes enough. If he taxes more, he'll just get bigger and there will be more waste. I like the school lunch program, esp. as in some places the meals are getting nutritious.

Kate: Would you support or oppose a tax increase on wealthy people to support a grant program that helps fund the education of people without a financial means to pay for college?

Kim: I think the best system is a loan program for all those who can't afford college. This way the least amount of money could put the most people through college. Since college increases life earnings, why not have the students give back (so other students can go to college as well)?

Kate: Did you read that article “If I were a poor black kid” that lots of people were up in arms about last week? The author of the article argues that if he were a poor black kid he would do everything he could to gain an education which would allow him to escape poverty. The backlash on that article was astounding ... At least to me... My Facebook community had a whole lot to say about it.

Kim: As I read the article I kept thinking of Marie Antoinette saying, "let them eat cake." He is "out-of-touch" in many ways because the problems are so severe. Yet, there are places that are successfully educating the poor. I visited a school in Denver where students were learning trades. All the courses provided individualized instruction. Students could start any day of the year (except weekends and holidays, I guess). And they had babysitters for their kids. 90+% of the students succeeded. On the other hand, I saw many college students from North St. Louis who couldn't read at 4th grade level, who couldn't write a sentence, who didn't know that 1/2 is bigger than a 1/4. The problems are deep and it will take many generations to make progress.

Kate: I really don’t know if you are doing it on purpose or not, but your argument there sounds to me like that article that pissed so many people off so recently. If you didn’t know about that article before now, you should try to understand some of that backlash. If you did know about the article and wrote this with that understanding (to be controversial or what), just remember that you are what you pretend to be.

Kim: I'm not trying to piss anyone off (though I know that happens... one of my first girlfriends unfriended me on FB). Morality is a scary proposition. Many things go quite well when people just try to make a buck. I had some great popcorn tofu tonight from our co-op grocery. I'm not sure the cook wanted to make the world better. Maybe he just wanted to pay his rent and buy a beer?

Did I answer all your questions?

Capitalism run by moral and ethical people of conscience

2011-12-22T08:48:00.002-06:00

Herb wrote: "Perhaps a Capitalism run by moral and ethical people of conscience."

I'd run like a dog if everyone was moral and ethical people of conscience. I'd rather believe everyone is a crook, just thinking of themselves.

I think we've run into trouble believing that we can trust all those offering services to us—that they are moral and ethical people of conscience. Maybe it is safer to assume the opposite, that they have only self-interest. I'm shopping for insurance. Everyone wants to sell me their policy. I realize that and don't assume that everyone has my best interest in their heart. So I weigh one policy against the other, and hope for the best.

Imagine you go to buy birth-control whatever at the pharmacy. This ethical person of conscience says that since I am a 15 years old, they better notify my parents, because their morals tell them that 15 year-olds shouldn't be out there having sex. A clever 15 year-old might question each pharmacist, asking "are you moral and ethical?" and if they say yes, then they would question their morals and make sure that there was an "alignment of morals."

The beauty of self-interest is that it is a lot more dependable that morality. My father claimed that there is no morality... only the law (he was a lawyer). I was quite upset with his statement until I started to wonder, "what morality? whose morality?"

Capitalism won't do the job... a reply to Rachel.

2011-12-20T22:12:00.006-06:00

Abdel works at Consuelo's Kitchen and
also has a business on the side selling hat racks.
He serves a smile and great food.

Rachel wrote,

"I cannot imagine the capitalism I see in the world producing the things we really need, like dignified creative work for all, an unpolluted environment, time and safe spaces to be physically active, time to care for our bodies, our psyches, and our loved ones. "

You're idealistic, as everyone should be. You see good and bad coming from capitalism, and want only good. Nothing wrong with that.

The question is, "what do we do instead?" We see that "it ain't perfect," so we want to throw out the child with the bathwater.

Then what?

Do we find a benevolent dictator? What?

Your dad says it is more complicated than I think it is. Most things probably are. Though I remember that Mr. Einstein said that when we really understand things we will find very simple relationships.

I make bread, you make flour. I trade you bread for flour. You have the only wheat field, I have the only oven. Sometimes you feel I take advantage of you. Sometimes I feel you take advantage of me. But we need each other.

No, it isn't the perfect system. But I don't know what we should do instead.

The Brandeis Ratio of Rich and Poor

2011-12-19T12:08:00.001-06:00

The Brandeis ratio, http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/19/opinion/dont-tax-the-rich-tax-inequality-itself.html?src=recg, describes the disparity between rich and poor. The article, and believers in the the detriment of the inequality, claim that we need to take money from the rich and give it to the poor. I agree about the detriment, but not that this is the solution.

When I was growing up, Robin Hood was not a hero. No one claimed it was right for us to garnish wages because one was earning too much. We saw that Karl Marx's slogan, "each according to his ability, to each according to his need," popularized in 1875, was not to be our way.

There is another solution to inequality. But first, is it really the inequality that is the problem, or is it the poverty? Would it matter if we had ten times the number of billionaires if everyone else had what they needed?

I'm not so worried about economic power being in the hands of a few as long as we have a democracy. The other constitutes a large minority and (I believe) will eventually prevail.

Imagine if the conversation shifted to how can we reduce poverty? Do we really believe that taxing more would do anything for the poor? What it will do it to make the government (still) bigger. Why and how would these dollars trickle down to the poor? And would this enable the poor to produce more goods and services, make them more employable, and, in the end, reduce the disparity?

I believe that taxing the rich to reduce the disparity is a pipe dream. It is easy to say, "redistribute wealth to fix disparity." It is harder to say, "equip the poor with the means to earn more."

Naked or Nude or ?

2011-12-18T17:31:00.002-06:00

Last night at the Off Center Theater in Austin, George Krause showed his sfumato (to smoke, no outlines) life-sized photos of people without clothes.

Soon after I arrived at the exhibition, a woman started to undress. I thought that someone was inspired by the photographs and decided that they would make a statement as well. Before I knew it, 10 or 15 people were all naked, wandering around the pictures that hung diagonally from a grid on the theater's stage. So we had three groups of people. The ethereal ones, radiating light in the photos. Their counterparts (and some of the models in the photos), moving around the gallery as if clothes (and shame) had never been invented, and then there was me, and you, and the others, still clinging to, and hiding behind, our clothes.

Somewhat reminiscent of Richard Avedon's pictures of the American West, he photographed these people as they were, so it seems. They are not naked, as Adam and Eve are often portrayed in the Garden of Eden. There is no shame, yet the figures are not sexual. They are just there, as if they never wore clothes. Yet not innocent as Brooke Shields appeared in The Blue Lagoon.

And perhaps the man above was being a little shy. They are not nudes, as in an Edward Weston or an Alfred Steiglitz. They are not romantic. And they are very beautiful. But not beautiful like a flower, or a lion. They show more the effects of living in the 21st century. Their bodies did not seem to have been physically challenged to survive. Some have been worn from the effects of aging. Others have been shaped by their love of food.

George said that he was trying to redefine the nude. These are non-sexual figures. They are not idealized figures, but were photographed with the care that one might use in photographing the last of a species of a beetle soon to go extinct. The light from behind obscures the edges, so they appear like sources of energy rather that objects reflecting light. They are one with their surrounding spaces. As imperfect as these specimens are, they are part of the world, melting into the space that we all share. They are us. We are them.

Anger serves a constructive purpose... not.

2011-12-17T12:47:00.010-06:00

Click on picture to enlarge.

I'm glad that Hans suggested I write about anger serving a constructive purpose... because that makes me a little angry. It is actually pragmatism that ticks me off. William James, in trying to find a philosophy that would blend the empiricist and the religious, wrote that

The tangible fact at the root of all our thought-distinctions, however subtle, is that there is no one of them so fine as to consist in anything but a possible difference of practice. To attain perfect clearness in our thoughts of an object, then, we need only consider what conceivable effects of a practical kind the object may involve—what sensations we are to expect from it, and what reactions we must prepare.

There is nothing that doesn't have a constructive purpose. If it wasn't for Hitler, my father-in-law would not have gone to Germany to fight, and instead would have had kids earlier. My wife would not have been born, and hence, my kids would not have been born, and I'd still be running around with a red wagon and two socks that don't match.

Does that mean we celebrate Hitler?

There are a number of emotions that don't make the world any sweeter: hate, jealousy, envy, and last, but not least, anger. Some constructive action comes from each of these, but we also can arrive at those actions simply by doing jobs that need to be done.

We don't need to get angry at a baby because she soiled her diapers. We can simply see changing her diapers as a job to be done. We don't need to get angry at the Exxon for polluting the air. We can simply (or maybe not so simply) find a way to improve the emissions or clean the air.

And we don't need to rationalize the poisons because of some off-beat benefit(s). We should look instead at 1) the poisons' ill effects, physically and mentally, on ourselves and others and 2) what problems need to be solved because suffering is occurring. That's it.

More on Dogma, Analysis, and Intuitive Wisdom... and Anger

2011-12-17T09:17:00.001-06:00

So when we are in the analysis mode, and hear intuitive wisdom, rather than "waking up"... as in the koans, we take it as dogma. I think that is why the book we used for the global warming course was so upsetting to me.

My dad went from atheist, to agnostic, to... on his deathbed... speaking about meeting his wife in heaven. Dogma, analysis, intuitive wisdom. So the same thought, "atheism or meeting his wife," can be dogma or intuitive wisdom. Maybe that is what makes communication about the climate so difficult. One person's dogma is another person's intuitive wisdom.

I've heard some speak of anger as a result of fear. It seems that fear is what we feel when we don't know what to do. We are in the "victim" mode, succumbing to the defensive role. The samurai warrior does not feel any anger (nor fear). Feeling (and expressing) anger, to me, is a fault... where to others it is an expression of how we really feel... or what makes us real.

Al Gore's Dogma and Anger, and the limit to my intuitive wisdom.

2011-12-15T21:26:00.009-06:00

Chevy Chase, from the Climate Reality Project sent me this missive today:

Dear Kim,

I don't know about you, but I get angry when I hear people claim that global warming isn't real. We know that the science is clear and climate change is an urgent problem. And we need more people to learn the truth....

The letter went on to talk about how Al Gore trained 3000 people to talk about climate change and Chevy wanted my money to pay for more presentations.

Driving to the Zen Center I wondered if Chevy Chase's anger was more a threat to our lives that climate change.

The other day I read the words in an email, "destroy the planet," and I questioned whether there was some less violent way of describing our precious lives on earth. Then G asked me if I was going to sign up for the Environmental Workshop and I told her that I would get angry. She said that it would be an opportunity to practice "equanimity." (Don't you love Buddhists?) She added, think of all the stuff you've gotten from global warming to write about.

Then I read on one of my previous blog posts a comment from a former colleague, M, in St. Louis,

"What is the debate really? This is proven and accepted science. Are we to debate the veracity of human evolution, the spherical nature of the earth, the age of the planet?"

I barely could get out of my chair this afternoon to go to the Zen Center, afraid that the dogma was making me into an obedient zombie. Anyway... I did go and was glad to be back after a couple weeks of playing hooky.

I was shoved out of my chair by this brilliant little paragraph that was sent to me from the Juniperpath.org website (no relation to Austin's Juniper).

The Three Moments is a model for describing the process of inner realization on the Buddhist path. T.R.V. Murti first coined the term in his classic work, The Central Philosophy of Buddhism¹. Murti saw the main task of Buddhist training as “purifying the mind and freeing it of the cobwebs and clogs of dogmatism.”² This occurs by examining and, ultimately, deconstructing the artificial edifice on which one’s inner life is built. The result is a refined level of awareness that is the basis for reorienting how we experience and engage the world.

The three moments comprise three states of inner maturation along the spiritual path: dogma, critical analysis, and intuitive wisdom. They can be summarized as follows:

Dogma: the unquestioned acceptance of what we know.
Critical analysis: examining what we know.
Intuitive Wisdom: going beyond what we know.

_________________________________________
1 T.R.V. Murti, The Central Philosophy of Buddhism, (New Delhi, India: Munshiram Manoharlal 1955), 140-143
2 The Central Philosophy of Buddhism, 146

So what a beautiful gift to get that email. Just as William Blake spoke of innocence, experience, and organized innocence, so does the Buddhist path of dogma, analysis, and intuitive wisdom show us the stages of understanding. Perhaps it is just dogma for those who claim that knowing the planet is burning is not rocket science, and that you see one melting iceberg and you know that the world is coming to an end... and that it is our fault.

If you've gotten this far, you need a little humor. Please see the Onion's take on the environment where they report that "If global warming isn't under control by 2006, scientists say it will achieve unstoppable momentum, destroying the only planet we have."

So if by now you are scratching your head and wondering what I believe anyway... join the club. I do believe that anger should have no part of this conversation. That might be the limit of my "intuitive wisdom."

Kate's questions about emissions

2011-12-13T12:35:00.003-06:00

Anonymous said...
Do you remember long ago when there was that oil thing in the gulf? We had conversation where I felt that one could point to the executives at BP as the biggest sinners in that situation and you felt that we couldn’t judge BE executives any more harshly than we judge ourselves since we use the product the executives make available to us.

If one makes the assumption that certain entities (corporations, consumer collectives, etc.) produce more CO2 emissions than other entities, do you feel/suspect/believe that the largest ‘sinners’ should ‘be made’ to reduce carbon emissions by means other than leading by example? If yes, how? If no, why not?

PS -- If you grow to hate me, you can ask me to stop and I will.

Kate

There are no sinners in my world. Each is trying to do what's good, as Plato argued. Sometimes they don't see the effect of our actions. And actions aren't all good or all bad. Actions benefit some and hurt others. I don't step on the scorpion to save its life, and then it takes the life of another sentient being. Good action or bad action? Savior or sinner?

My view on the carbon emissions is to not regulate them (by law) but rather to sue the companies for the cost of cleaning them up. If you spray painted on my car, I would hold you responsible to make my car "right." In the same way, companies should be responsible for hurting the shared environment.

Kate, you are a great teacher for me. Thanks!

More from Kate on Climate Change

2011-12-12T22:11:00.001-06:00

Kate asked,

"What evidence or reasoning would move you to suspect that indeed humanity has an effected climate by increasing the levels of CO2 in the atmosphere? What would one have to present to you in order to make you feel that climate change is more likely reality than not?

And. . . Just out of curiosity. . . At this point, what do you feel would seem like the most appropriate response to the issue of climate change; personally and/or politically?"

When I was growing up (as if I'm grown up now) my father would say he was an atheist. Later, when he moved to California and made friends with "believers" he turned to becoming an agnostic. I questioned him on this, and he claimed he was never an atheist. "How can we know?" he'd say.

I was glad to see that Austin is considering a ban on all bags, plastic and paper. I believe (not know) that our environment will be better with less waste. I believe that I cough when there is lots of pollution. I like clean air and clean water.

Today in the NY Times there was an article about the poor air quality in Texas. I do believe that is the result of humans filling the air with not good for humans stuff.

I think the most appropriate response for me is 1) to make a smaller footprint and 2) show others how that can be done. Ok... I'll turn off the space heater under my desk... right now...

Let me try again...

2011-12-11T21:45:00.002-06:00

I got a call that I didn't really answer Kate's question about what would convince me that there is really man-made global warming. So I will try again.

Kate, the answer is "nothing." Here's why.

I don't think anything could convince me that anything is true with absolute certainty. I have a lot of suspicions about how things are as we all do. We sense that OJ might have done the deed or not. But are we certain? Imagine that he confessed and DNA evidence confirmed his confession. Would we then be certain? We all know of situations where people confessed to crimes that they didn't do, and also that evidence is sometimes planted. This is one of the reasons I'm not for the death sentence.

Is it really 74° in my house? The thermometer says so. The temperature actually probably varies in every room. Does my thermometer really say it is 74°, or is that just my belief about what I'm seeing when I look at it?

When I was a kid I had a big argument with my friend Mark about whether or not Altman's camera store was across the street from Marshall Fields in Chicago. I was sure it was, and he was sure it wasn't. Finally we went downtown to see who was right. I appeared to be wrong... but even after standing in front of Altmans and seeing what was across the street, would I give someone 1,000,000 to 1 odds that it was where it was? Or would there still be some doubt?

Also when I was a kid Damon sold me a two-headed nickel. I ran home to my mom to get a dollar or two for it. I told my mom that we'd be rich with this rare nickel. When I returned home with the nickel, I looked at it more closely and saw the seam where it was soldered together. I'd been had.

What would it take to convince me?

2011-12-11T12:20:00.000-06:00

Kate asked “what it would take to convince me of global warming?” I think I've been frustrating others by appearing stubborn about this issue, when really I'm not willing to accept much of anything as truth.

I take about 10 pills a day... various vitamins and supplements. Do I believe in these pills? No. Would I know the difference if I didn't take one of them? Probably not. Some are those that my doctor or nutritionist recommended. Do I trust them? Not really. I think they read some study or studies that indicated my health and/or longevity would be increased if I took these. I'm aware that these pills are changing fashions. What one decade recommends another condemns. And I take the pills because my best guess is that it might be of benefit.

And so it is with global warming. Right now, the majority of scientists seem to agree that our planet is warming up, and that man (and woman) caused that warming. I'm aware of multiple instances where scientists agreed and then found that the holy grail was false. I'll accept very little, if anything, as “truth.”

At the same time, I see inaction as an action. Staying still is a movement. We must do something, so we make our best guess. We are driving on a road, and we assume that there is not a giant pothole when we go around the bend. Are we sure? No. Do we slow down? Probably not.

We have plenty of indications that we are not living in a sustainable manner. We throw our trash out of our car, and then we notice that the highways are unsightly. So we change our behavior, seeing the effect of our actions.

In a very complex and interrelated planet, we don't know what causes what. Was it a butterfly flapping its wing, or Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the fire? Is there really a fire?

We make our best guess, and take those pills. Are we right? I'm not sure. Do we act? Yes.

Homeless Art

2011-12-06T20:49:00.000-06:00

Art from the Streets, an annual art show in Austin by the Homeless, was quite an experience. I especially liked the pieces below, but was most struck with the depiction of the crazy world by the homeless. It was apparent, meeting the artists, that it was not only poverty that put them on the street, but also that they heard the "beat of a different drummer."

Global Warming Dilemma and Improving the Quality of Our Lives

2011-12-05T10:25:00.005-06:00

I read Melissa Prado Little's blog about the Austin Zen Center's Fall Practice Period's theme of global warming and made this comment:

We talk about putting out fires, but not putting out insidious smoldering. That's the difficulty with global warming. It isn't something that people see when they wake up in the morning. So they aren't concerned as they are with the toaster being stuck and the toast is burning.

The mathematics of cause and effect, and the art of extrapolation are beyond most people's abilities. So we trust a majority of scientists and act... or we trust our everyday experience and not act. We reflect on the times when we were told of a danger and later it proved to be wrong (WMDs in Iraq, for example.)

Which is why on humans can become Buddhas. It is they (humans) have the hearts and minds to be pulled from so many different directions.

In the preface to her blog, she talked about "improving the quality of her life." That's something we all want to do... right? I wrote this as a comment:

I'm curious about "improving the quality of my life." Everyone wants to do that. Some might say "less stress" or "more love" or "more happiness." But what would it take for us to not strive for that. Instead, we could simply take the meal that has been served. No dissatisfaction!

That doesn't mean that you stagnate. Rather you'd (and me too) would just experience the meal (life) as it appears. Does that make sense?

So instead of waking up and wanting your life to be better, how about feeling gratitude that it is as it is?

What did Buddha mean?

2011-11-30T11:49:00.000-06:00

There is a story about the Buddha being asked where a temple should be built. He pointed toward the ground, and a blade of grass sprouted up, marking the spot.

Another story is that he was asked what a robe should look like, and he pointed toward a rice field and said, "like that."

A common interpretation of these actions is that everywhere is sacred. This misinterpretation shows how our Western minds generalize. I think he meant that this place "here" is sacred, as is this moment. Let's not go anywhere else. Be here and now... for that's all that exists, and, as my teacher reminded me the other day, even the here and now only exists in our minds.

Dogen is said to have said that there is no place to spit (because everything is sacred). I tried to find this quote in his writing but could not. I wonder if he just meant that you should not spit here, for this spot is sacred.

What is it about us that wants to form opinions? Why is it not enough to stay with what we have in front of us. One problem with generalizing is that we've left the planet and have gone into our minds. Which is probably what my Western mind is doing now.

Barking Dogs

2011-11-27T21:43:00.000-06:00

I can't write anything tonight, I thought, because the dog across the street is barking. He's a basset hound. Now he has stopped. I guess either he respects writers, or else the arsenic laced turkey leg did the trick (just kidding).

Oh... he's alive again.

Anyway, I think pets are silly. Sometimes cute. Sometimes smart. But what a waste of money! I hear stories of people spending vast amount of their money and time caring for their dog. Most of my life I had dogs. Finally I resented the commitment.

So now that I've complained about the Christ in the doctor's office, and the dog across the street that is barking because his master is gone... what is next?

I have a complaint bracelet that I'm supposed to wear... so I don't complain. If you wear it and you complain you are supposed to change it to another wrist. I only have two wrists so I took it off. I guess I could wear it at night... if I had a virgin wrist to put it on. 21 days is all you need to be perfect (not complain). See: http://www.acomplaintfreeworld.org/

So the dog's owner just came home and I saw him find my note stuck in his door, telling him that his dog was backing. Luckily his dog was barking when he came home... so he won't think I'm delusional. I left my phone number... I wonder if he'll call me.

When you walk dogs here you carry some bags and then you have to scoop up the poop and carry it home. That is not one of my favorite things to do.

Guess I'll volunteer to take care of my daughter's dog next week when she goes out-of-town. He's quite a special creature.

Noam Chomsky Strikes Again

2011-11-26T14:42:00.010-06:00

Here is a short clip from Noam Chomsky. He articulates why we should not to spend much time on climate change denialists. I love his comment, "you don't have to be an expert."

There is another group that is not on board with the predictors of doomsday. These are the thinkers who dare to question their colleagues about such a politically charged topic.

I'm reading now a great book, Useless Arithmetic—Why Environmental Scientists Can't Predict the Future, that describes in great detail the difference between qualitative and quantitative modeling... and why in a complex and chaotic world our guesses about outcomes have been so prone to failure. I just read the chapters about fish and AIDS (different chapters). Our numbers were so wrong about what would be sustainable fishing that we have wiped out entire fish populations. Our numbers were very much guesses on the numbers dying of AIDS in Africa. Even the numbers on second hand smoke are very suspect, though we know (qualitatively) that it ain't good to breathe SMS.

I was amused to read about the Oracle of Delphi, who for hundreds of years, told people the truth... always in a stupor. It was later found that the river behind where the Oracle hung out emitted ethylene, a gas that has been used as an anesthetic.

(Click on quote to enlarge it.)

Emotions at the Doctor's Office

2011-11-24T23:03:00.000-06:00

Christmas decorations. Innocent. Yet I felt very emotional the other day as the nurses put up Christmas decorations in my doctor's office.

I started thinking about those who don't celebrate Christmas. I felt that they were oblivious to me who doesn't accept Jesus as the son of God. He was a very cool dude, though.

That office has an international clientele. How many of them belong to an assortment of other religions, or no religion? What would they think about the Christmas decorations? Did the nurses and doctors realize that Christmas isn't for everyone.

In California, there is a cross on Mt. Soledad... or was, until enough people complained. Click on the link and read the article.

Is this different than a Christmas tree in a quasi-public place like a doctor's office? I remember that in the Community College where I worked we passed a rule that office holiday decorations had to be non-denominational. I liked that.

Should I complain to the doctor's office? I'm already the trouble maker because I suggested that the nurses change gloves from one patient to the next. They told me that the gloves are to protect the nurses, not the patients.

Opinions?

Banana Peeling Event

2011-11-21T14:28:00.001-06:00

Banana peeling was found at Ohare airport turning itself inside out as a protest against Global Climate Change. Airport police were called to douse it with pepper spray but they were stopped in their tracks by coed with smart phone. Canine patrol was then brought in to "bark it into submission" but instead the dogs laid on the backs and laughed. If that wasn't enough, Grandma Moses, flying back to her home in Iowa, started laughing so hard that the banana peeling jumped into the mixer at the juice bar to become totally masticated.

Yes, Kate, teach all the denial theories too!

2011-11-19T07:42:00.002-06:00

Kate asked, when reading that I suggested that both sides of the global warning issue should be presented, whether I thought that intelligent design should be presented in a course on evolution. My first response was "no," that is different.

But then I remembered a lecture I heard by a mathematician about why we shouldn't teach intelligent design in the schools. He proceeded to teach a lot of very interesting science in disproving intelligent design. As I listened to him, I started to visualize students coming to school with backward thoughts and how important it is to their education that the errors in their thinking be discussed.

I'm now visiting my in-laws and had the global climate change discussion with my father-in-law. Like 53% of the tea party, he believed that man probably didn't cause climate change, and that soon it was just as likely that it would cool down as it would start to warm up.

I did feel like taking the other side but quickly realized that I would not be able to convince him that, as my global warning teacher says, we are on a train, doing our "own thing" and that the train is about a mile from the edge of a cliff... and soon we would all die.

I wished then that I could show him charts and graphs proving our demise. What better deed would there be than to save the Earth?

Do we all think that what we believe is fact?

El Contrario, Hijacker

2011-11-17T17:01:00.002-06:00

I suggested to the teacher of my global warming class that we hear both sides. He said that he'd been told that if you go there, the class will be hijacked... and you'll never get it back.

I remember my frustration in college, trying to guess what the professor thought about the subject. Did he like this or that artist? Did he like capitalism or communism? Socrates or Kant? It was a good frustration.

In Pilates today my teacher said I was holding my breath. I told her I was mad... and so I started to vent about how I was more interested in the debate than in the resolution. I told her that I'd believe in God if no one else did... just to keep things alive. She didn't believe me.

But it is also that I have a place in my heart for the underdog.

Today some were clapping because a coal plant was being shut down. I felt sorry for the plant, no longer useful to man. I Googled "clean coal" and found a nice article about how we were going to great ends to make coal more tolerable.

If I hear once more that global warning is true because "so many scientists believe in it" I think I'll ... Since when is this a test? I'm not saying that the Earth isn't warming up, or that man didn't cause the warming... I just would like to know more about how we know that.

I named myself, "Mr. Contrary" and a friend coined "El Contrario" which I like better.

So questions remain:

1) What is happening to the Earth?

2) What is the effect of what is happening?

3) If negative, how can we prevent what is happening?

I believe this is a great opportunity to learn about statistics and extrapolation.

Unfortunately (said partly in jest) I'm more interested in the examination of the knowledge and how it has polarized believers and non-believers than I am in the condition of the Earth. How could I take such a heartless position? Probably because I am so skeptical that we know the effects of our actions in such an interconnected world.

In the meantime, I remain committed to what the zen teacher Reb Anderson said, "walk on the Earth as if it is your mother's face."

Non-profits in a Free Society

2011-11-13T14:05:00.000-06:00

Non-profits benefit by their status, allowing them to not pay taxes. They have resources paid for by other citizens, including fire and police protection. Other citizens pay for these resources by coercion, though they may not necessarily subscribe to the aims of the non-profit, whether it be a church or a planned-parenthood center.

Next time I'm asked to give to a non-profit, I should say that "I give at the office." It would be a true statement (if I had a real job).

Sometimes non-profits decide to persuade others to think as they do. This might be to accept Jesus as their lord and savior, or it might be to use every means available to keep a pipeline from being built. Again, this points out the problem of forcing individuals (through taxes) to support an organization that might be advocating for a position that is not their politics of choice.

Some might think the non-profits might sink if they did not get this support. Some will. Others will enjoy a new freedom, where they can now support political action and candidates to their hearts content. And they might get more support from like-minded individuals.

The new revenue to the government hopefully will be returned to the citizenship, rather than to enable the government to become still larger. With the citizenship having more money falling out of their pants, hopefully they will give more charitable contributions than they did before.

And should these individuals be able to deduct their contributions? No! That is just another example of the government supporting the non-profits by subsidizing individuals who give to it.

We could transition to this new status to free non-profits over a number of years to give them time to develop a new base of support.

Pool Career

2011-10-03T09:37:00.001-05:00

Someone posted to our neighborhood elist that they wanted a pool player for a team that plays every Sunday evening at Slick Willies. My wife usually goes to dinner with a friend on Sunday nights, so I thought... why not? Maybe I could think of it as Zen archery or something. So I told them I'd join the team.

Last night I got to Slick Willies... watched for a while and then asked if I could hit some balls. They pointed me to a table on the other side of the room... and I played by myself for about an hour. I was surprised at how physical it is... something I had not noticed the last time I played about 40+ years ago.

I came back to my team and noticed that a couple were playing and they were quite good. Then I asked, "how long do the games go?" They said, oh, tonight we'll be done by 9:30, but sometimes we might go to 12:30am.

Realizing that this would be 6 hours and 30 minutes of my life, I told them I didn't want to be on the team.

Maybe I can find a ping pong team. Maybe they don't go on so long.

Hat

2011-09-30T16:07:00.000-05:00

Press Check

2011-09-29T10:47:00.000-05:00

Nothing like a new 5 million dollar press that prints 8 colors and a coating without blinking an eye. Remember when the printer would scoop out some ink with a knife... and put it on a platen or roller... no more! Inside will be run later on today. Then a day each for the next three operations that make it a book.

Almost Printed

2011-09-28T13:46:00.001-05:00

New book, Digital Photography: A Workbook, keyed to Digital Photography: A Basic Manual by Henry Horenstein. Let me know if you are a photo teacher and want a review copy.

Hydration Station

2011-09-26T13:45:00.001-05:00

Scale

2011-09-03T22:03:00.000-05:00

I've often heard artists talk about scale as "big." I believe it really refers to "looking big" which is achieved by having something small next to something big, like a small rock next to a bigger one. Notice the stunning color of the one rock, and the texture of the ordinary (not so attractive) piece of concrete. There are some live plants, and some not so live plants. A virtual world, just when I step out of my car.

Hot in Austin

2011-09-02T17:23:00.001-05:00

Taken with a DSLR (not an iPhone).

I think the thermometer hit its limit.

I thought of this as a crucifix.
If you click on the picture you can see it bigger... and see the temp.

Still lifes with Orange

2011-09-02T09:09:00.000-05:00

Inside my morning Mexican restaurant. Amazing sharpness for an iPhone, isn't it? Both pictures taken without moving anything but the camera. The bottom one I saw from where I was sitting and then got up and took it. Then as I brought the camera down I saw the top one in the "ground glass."

Non-intentional/Intentional (Who wins?)

2011-09-01T15:23:00.002-05:00

I turned the corner and was struck with these shadows painting the fence. I pulled out my trusty iPhone and inadvertently took a picture of the street. Much more interesting to me. How about you?

Same old, same old

2011-08-31T09:20:00.002-05:00

Most of my pictures seem to have the same composition. I start in the bottom left, Then move to the upper right. Then return down and over to the left. I liked the spots of red and green. I upped the saturation and sharpened it a little. Taken with IPhone 3GS (like most of my recent pictures).

Costco Intention

2011-08-30T18:21:00.000-05:00

I started to take a picture of the edge of my shopping cart at Costco, when another cart began to whiz by. First my inner voice said, "wait." But then another inner voice said, "give it a try." So I did.

Alligatorscape and Hatscape

2011-08-30T09:12:00.000-05:00

Too Young to Die

2011-08-29T10:38:00.000-05:00

Checking In...

2011-08-26T08:18:00.000-05:00

Finishing up a workbook for learning digital photography. I always said I could get more done if I didn't have a job. I think a cadre of clones would help.

The orange glare on my eyes? Actually a cap I'm wearing while I tried on the hat. Probably should of bought the hat. It was at a yard sale that I was working at...

Back to work...

Oh... I was asked what is my view of the poor. Here's Lewis Hine's view: http://tinyurl.com/lewishine

Detour Ahead

2011-08-22T17:40:00.001-05:00

My walking partner neighbor asked if I wanted him to cut down the tree to get rid of the shadows. No, I said, that's what I'm photographing.

In any case, detours are guaranteed, aren't they?

Texas Alligator

2011-08-19T09:35:00.003-05:00

I just noticed my finger blocking off the upper left. Works ok here. Maybe I ought to capitalize on that technique.

One-way Conversation

2011-08-02T17:38:00.000-05:00

A Family of Artists, by Jasper

2011-08-02T09:47:00.007-05:00

My dad and mom and me are artists. My brother Dash is too little, but maybe he will be an artist someday too.

My dad is coming to my classroom to help us make a movie. It is called an animation.

My dad will use a camera to make the movie and then when it is done we will show it to everybody.

I like being an artist, but I also like surfing and would like to surf on a big wave in California when I get bigger.

UPenn Animation Class

2011-08-01T11:45:00.002-05:00

Josh and Jasper Animating

2011-08-01T10:39:00.002-05:00

Jasper and Dash

2011-07-29T22:26:00.002-05:00

Parents as Benevolent Dictators

2011-07-28T13:53:00.000-05:00

Benevolent dictators like to think that they are a gift of god. They have one interest, and that is to give people what they want and/or need. I guess it must really be "want" because otherwise they wouldn't be seen so "benevolent."

I heard about a parent today who gave and gave and gave. He held the purse strings, barely gave to himself, but gave generously to his children and even his ex-wife.

I remembered how when our kids were in high school (college?) we gave them a credit card and told them that this was the family money and they had to spend wisely. We were fully open with them about our finances and they were responsible to see that the family didn't overspend.

At lunch today we were talking about this and I said that the benevolent dictator gives everything but what is most valuable. One of us said "freedom." My wife said "autonomy."

Then I started thinking about the Buddhist story of the squashes who fought with each other so the monk had them meditate (a little far fetched?)... and then he told them to touch the top of their head to see where their spine starts. They did and realized they were all connected to each other.

I'm not sure how autonomy and being connected work together. Some one will have to help me with that one. Maybe it is in the meaning of the Buddhist saying "not one, not two."

In any case, if you are a parent (and we all are in some walk of our lives), try to see whether you can shift your family operation to become a democracy. Disclose your assets and let the family decide how the resources might be expended (and/or saved). Not only will this help your kids grow up, but they will have something to show their friends much cooler than the latest iphone.

Tomorrow might be Doomsday

2011-07-26T21:07:00.001-05:00

Our head teacher at the Buddhist temple made a scroll for our weekend sit. It said, "everything changes, everything is connected, pay attention, and beginner's mind."

One of the priests is taking a math course and is wondering how he'll ever use what he is learning.

R has a recurring visit of breast cancer and she is angry at it.

I see the doctor tomorrow about the supposed cyst or whatever in my chest.

People open their hearts and the anger dissolves in its tracks.

My sister and I were wondering how all these coincidental occurrences happen to put us on this planet. I lied and told her I didn't believe in god when she asked. I would have lied if I told her I did. With as much mystery as there is, how can one know (anything)?

I thought again yesterday about the young magician in the park who said, "is this your card" only to discover that it was not.

I'm not sure who titled this post. I don't remember writing that... though I must have... just a few minutes ago.

Time to eat fruit. Fruits and vegetables are delicious.

Lots of passion about Walmart.

My arms are sore from swimming today... first time in a couple of years. It was wet.

Still More on Walmart

2011-07-25T20:14:00.002-05:00

Monica:

I would highly recommend watching the PBS Frontline documentary. Yes, it is true Walmart can guarantee the lowest prices, but at what greater cost to our nation's economy? I think Becky's point about Walmart creating a fictitious perceived need for mass quantities of cheap, shoddy merchandise is quite valid. We need fewer things. We need to take better care of what we have, so things last longer. So there is less frequent a need to buy more. I think that if we merely accept this economic mono culture as an inevitability we surrender our greater good to a big business monopoly. I belong to the local historic preservation commission. Recently I attended a statewide preservation conference. The theme was "Old is the new Green". I think this is a valid philosophy, whether one protests the wasteful destruction of still viable buildings or one purchases household goods from a resale shop. There are so many ways in which we can reduce our footprint, and happily these measures are less costly in both the short term and the long term. We need not think that Walmart possesses some kind of gravitational pull that is irresistible.

Sent from my iPhone

Kim:

May I put your wonderful green statement on my blog.

I don't disagree with anything you are saying. I hope that education will help people be more sensitive to the effect of their behavior on the planet.

In the meantime, what are we going to do with all the activities that we see as destructive?

Monica:

Kim, yes you can post my response. I don't have any solutions at the ready; if I did I'd run for office. Seriously though, the solutions are achieved through many small steps.

Walmart reply.

2011-07-25T09:25:00.002-05:00

Becky:

Do you seriously mean this? Do you know how many farmers they have f.....d? Towns they have ruined? You admire what they have achieved?! Kim! Are you just saying this to get a rise out of people? Watch the Frontline episode on Walmart and let me know if you feel the same. If you look closely at the people who's quality of life you think has improved, look again.

Kim:

Hi Becky,

Yes, I'm serious.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/walmart/view/

suggests that Walmart is responsible for jobs moving to China. If there wasn't Walmart, it would have been KMart or Target buying more goods from China and having a bigger market share.

Remember that US dollars going to China do have to come back to us. It might not be RCAs USA TVs, but RCA was doomed anyway as their products became too expensive to produce.

Unfortunately, people suffer when change occurs. But things do change, and Walmart takes advantage and initiates those changes. We had a Walmart behind FV... I'm not sure if it was there when you were. The clientele there didn't seem to mind the cheap and varied goods.

May I put your comment on my blog?

Becky:

Yes, you may. You can edit the "f......d" if you like for politeness sake.

That Walmart was there when I was there and I shopped at it then. It is since one of the battles I have chosen amongst the many I have to choose from. Maybe because it is relatively easy for me to choose to not shop there. One of the things that bothers me most about them is that they have left most people no choice. They are super wealthy and can do anything they want. Also, the cheap and varied goods are crap and give people the idea that they need more than they do and can have more than they need because it's cheap. More shit in the landfill. I have fallen victim to the craving for more cheap crap, but now get my fix with other people's discards at the thrift store. Much more satisfying, but I still have too much crap. And yes, a small Indonesian child likely made what I have bought second hand, but I somehow feel slightly better about it in that I'm not buying a new thing so another new thing can replace it on the shelf.

Kim:

I like the idea that each has cost and benefits. Maybe the reason we can't agree is that one of us is looking at the costs and one is looking at the benefits. Neither of us is right.

It looks like you have found another choice to shopping at Walmart in the thrift store (where my wife shops too). I share your feeling that we consume too much, that the quality is not great at Walmart, and that the little shop where they know your name is warm and fuzzy. But Walmart is not evil. It is just an evolutionary point in the history of merchandizing. They fulfill a need (or perceived need) for many. It is great that you are trying to persuade people that they have more choices. Once KMart and Sears were really hot. Now it is Walmart and Costco (where I go). What is next? Maybe a return to yesterday? Or maybe Amazon (where I shop a lot too.)

Why I like Walmart...

2011-07-23T22:19:00.003-05:00

Lots of intellectuals think Walmart is evil, in that it invades towns, eradicates small business, and pays its workers paltry sums. On the other hand, it is one of the biggest employers in the US and it provides for many people goods that they would not be able to afford elsewhere. Small businesses are neat until you are looking for odd items or cheap prices. Do I enjoy shopping at Walmart? No. But I admire what they have achieved and how, for many, they have improved their quality of life.

Cysts?

2011-07-21T22:17:00.003-05:00

Last Thursday my pilates teacher, S, noticed that one of my breasts was bigger than the other... so then she started feeling around and felt two little bumps... so she told me to get a sonogram. I called my doctor's office (Dr. P) who said that I would need to see the doctor first, but she was busy until today, and that was a week ago, and that I could see the physician's assistant instead on Monday. I don't remember the assistant's name, but let's call her "A." (When I told my son the story he said it was a little confusing without any names.) So A felt the bumps too and sent me to have the sonogram. The sonographer woman, B, who was very cute, put this warm thick clear jelly on me and then rubbed this geiger counter over me and said that she didn't see anything but she'd show the image to the doctor "C." She left for about 15 minutes and then came back and said that C didn't see anything.

Later Monday A called me and told me that all they saw were cysts and that I would hear from Dr. P soon about what I should do next. My sister S who is different from my pilates teacher S because she lives in Los Angeles wrote me and asked me about the doctor's report. So I called Dr. P's office and the nurse for A said that I was on her list to call, and that the doctor (P) thought it was probably nothing, and that the sonogram showed nothing, but that my Dr. P wanted to see me to be sure. So I have an appointment on next Wednesday. In the meantime, my pilates teacher, S, who is (still) not my sister, texted her breast surgeon "T" who then called me later today and said he had looked at my sonogram and he didn't see anything and I shouldn't worry. (I asked T how he saw it since I didn't give him permission to look at it and he said because it was at ARA, which is where I had it done... Austin is a small town, I guess.) Anyway, I told T that I was going to see my Dr. P. on Wed. since he was going vacation. We agreed that if she suspected something she would order a bilateral mammogram that he would look at after his vacation. I don't know where T was going on his vacation... nor does it matter.

I suspect this should all make me very worried, but it doesn't at all because I watched a really old movie the other day and I said to my wife that I bet all these young vivacious people in the movie are now dead and she agreed... Or maybe I'm not very worried because I just am not very worried... but I think maybe I need a time chart, or a spreadsheet, or some other way of organizing all this information. Or maybe this could be a new college aptitude test, with a list of questions at the end. And I suspect this is just the beginning of a saga that might do more damage to my brain than the rest of me just to keep the players straight.

So who went to St. Ives?

Sloppy Attempt #1,000,000

2011-07-20T22:57:00.000-05:00

Teacher said in the 2nd grade that my painting was sloppy. Since then I've been trying to be sloppy. Here's attempt 1,000,000.

Gasping for Life

2011-07-19T17:00:00.000-05:00

Meditation for Kids... or Why I Sit?

2011-07-18T16:51:00.000-05:00

Thursday I'm teaching meditation to a group of kids in a summer camp. I'm told that they are middle school kids, around 12-13 years old. So I wondered what I'd say to them about meditation, and why someone might want to sit and face the wall as we do in the zendo.

Forty years ago I taught art to 6th graders. They were a pretty intimidating lot, being little adults, with attitudes about art that were impenetrable. I went back after that to focusing on younger kids (though I taught college kids at the same time who were always ready for adventure).

In elementary school they would send me to the cloak room when I wasn't behaving. That seemed to be often, and my record was twice in one day. Now I go to the cloak room (zendo) almost every day to sit and face the wall. What might have been construed as punishment has become somewhat of a necessity like eating, drinking, sleeping, or all the other sundry things we do to stay alive.

I eat because I'm hungry, though I'm realizing more and more that often I eat and I'm not hungry. I drink because I'm thirsty, though sometimes when I'm thirsty I don't drink, and sometimes when I'm not thirsty I drink because that's what you do in certain places (a coffee house, for example). I sleep when I'm tired, though, sometimes it is because my wife says it is time to go to bed. The water is muddy, at best.

Why do I sit? Up to seven seconds before we make conscious (rational?) decisions we make unconscious decisions. Am I sitting because my unconscious is telling me to slow down and/or wake up?

We hear about cars going from 0-60 mph in a few seconds. Earlier today I was thinking about kids and how fast they are still going at "0." Kids... no, all of us! We sit down on the couch, and have the TV on, a conversation ensuing, a bag of potato chips being consumed, and multitudinous thoughts racing through our heads. That is what we call "laying back," "zoning out," "vegetating." Maybe in reality we are going faster than ever. Maybe at 60 mph we are going slower that we are at 0 because we are trying to focus on the situation at hand in order to stay alive.

So what happens if we really slow down and simply focus on our breath? Is this "ground 0?" Is this an opportunity, in stillness, to start to notice that we may not really be hungry, tired, or thirsty? Is this an opportunity, in stillness, to notice that we may not be doing the best for ourselves or others?

Suzuki Roshi said that what is most important is to discover what is most important. I suspect that he knew what this was (to know who he was). It is a life journey. I suspect that it may be facilitated by a little "quiet wakefulness."

That is why I sit.

We are PCs...

2011-07-17T20:11:00.000-05:00

We are PCs But very funny ones @ that.

Pair #1

2011-07-16T23:00:00.000-05:00

Every #1

2011-07-15T22:20:00.002-05:00

Non-dog Walking

2011-07-14T22:52:00.000-05:00

Casio Surgery Today

2011-07-13T22:38:00.002-05:00

The Wrath of God

2011-07-12T22:37:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow might be Doomsday

2011-07-11T22:50:00.003-05:00

You Don't Care

2011-07-10T22:30:00.001-05:00

You probably don't care about my CASIO FR-105S Printing Calculator that was the victim of my carelessness the other day. Now the nine is dead, along with some other problems too sad to mention. Usually I drink from a glass, but in order to be safe, I had a water bottle with a cap. But I lost the cap, and then yanked a cord that did the deed.

A sad result from that deed (indeed).

I wonder if we are much different than calculators. I understand that our brain power is not much more than the average computer. We have a broader array of skills, perhaps. My neighbor insists that he can calculate better than a calculator. I wonder how he'll feel when I text him numbers to add together.

I'm wondering if I should wait a few days to see if the 9 repairs herself, or if I should microwave the thing with a bowl of dry rice to see if that might fix it.

And then, should I bury it? Or I could cremate it, though fires aren't allowed right now in Austin.

End Conflict Now!

2011-07-09T22:31:00.001-05:00

I decided to end suffering today. I thought I'd start out with about 24 people in a class I was teaching at the zen center. So I asked them if they had any conflict in their lives. They all said yes. Then I told them to close their eyes and to look at the conflict without blame, guilt, or judgment. I was convinced that no conflict could exist without the fuel from at least one of these.

When they were through looking at their conflict I asked how many had gotten rid of their conflict. No one raised their hands.

It reminded me of a magic show in the park on July 4th. The young magician said, "is this your card?" and the volunteer from the audience said, "no."

So then we did a 15 minute mediation. I started thinking about the usefulness of conflicts, how conflicts keep us from getting close, and how fear ties us to our conflicts. It became clear that without conflicts we'd have intimacy... and we all know that we don't want that.

Next I went to a dharma talk about the Eight Fold Path, which starts with suffering and ends with a means to cease suffering. What was not talked about was our need to suffer. Without suffering we'd be facing ourselves and others without any clothes. Stark naked.

I've also been thinking about the koan about stepping off a hundred foot pole. Maybe to give up conflicts and suffering is that stepping off. How economical it is to live a protected existence on top of that pole!

The Adding Machine Saga

2011-07-08T22:17:00.000-05:00

Chemistry

2011-07-07T23:49:00.018-05:00

I watched a young couple at my usual taco breakfast place this am. They were lovely with their youth and love for each other. To what extent were they being led by their chemistry, and to what extent by their heart and mind I do not know. The urge to have children is universal. I could see urges bubbling out from their skin. Those who avoid having children, or even intimate relationships, seem to adopt others to care for in one way or another.

Wordsworth wrote, "the child is father of the man." Gerald Manley Hopkins wrote (I assume in response),

‘THE CHILD is father to the man.’
How can he be? The words are wild.
Suck any sense from that who can:
‘The child is father to the man.’
No; what the poet did write ran,
‘The man is father to the child.’
‘The child is father to the man!’
How can he be? The words are wild.

As babies are being born, others are finding the end to their lives. Another mystery. Reminds me that one thing just leads to another.

Is the larger figure in the drawing a man, someone closer than the mother and child, god, or ???. I don't know.

1st drawing for awhile

2011-07-06T23:20:00.000-05:00

I quit writing because I was stuck. I realized I didn't know anything... and I couldn't figure out what is important. So I decided to shut up for awhile. But now, I want to draw again because I don't feel alive when I'm not.

Tax the Money Changers

2011-06-18T10:42:00.003-05:00

Right now I'm in the Renaissance Marriott in St Louis. I'm looking out the window from the 6th floor at cars and roads and businesses that were all made possible because of what you call greed. People wanted to make money and figured out that serving others was a good scam. And in the process lots of jobs are created. We got the room through Priceline for $43 a night. It appears that lots of other folks did also because they are in the lobby apparently having a large family gathering. The same people who are extravagant are going to hear D sing, buying art, giving money to museums, etc. They support small businesses and also support people who support small businesses. In our judgment they don't always make wise choices. But the poor don't either. Hopefully education can help people make better choices. I used to tell students that they don't have to own a yacht if they can enjoy a shadow or the shape of a tar drip on the street.

See Milton Friedman talk to Phil Donohue about greed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWsx1X8PV_A&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Kim Mosley
http://kimmosley.com/blog

On Jun 18, 2011, at 9:36 AM, S wrote:

gLAD TO HAVE THIS spin. I read it again with this in mind. But don't you think that the quick bucks that the wall street traders/banks etc. getting is unfair to the little guys who don't have enough for rent/food/college. All the rich guys buy with their "play" money is the 3rd home or the 4th lexus. they don't help small businesses. Does not the economy need to become one of "service" rather than profit and greed? What am I missing. am sending your response to D too. xx S
PS We deserve a Lexus.

At 11:16 PM 6/17/2011, you wrote:
Terrible idea. Short term trading is already taxed at a higher rate as earned income rather than as long term capital gains. Adding a greater cost to one business over another is discriminatory. Next it will be artists, then who knows whom. The argument that it would make a lot of money is not a good argument nor is it necessarily correct...because if you make a business less profitable less people will engage in it. And besides, owning stocks, whether short or long term, supports the economy. Businesses need capital to operate.

Kim Mosley
http://kimmosley.com/blog

Begin forwarded message:

From: S
Date: June 17, 2011 8:11:36 PM CDT

Subject: not bad at all

Published on The Nation (http://www.thenation.com)

Cut Wall Street Down to Size With a Financial Speculation Tax

Sarah Anderson | June 8, 2011

If you want to transform the economy, you have to cut Wall Street down to its proper size. One way to do that is to tax the short-term speculative activities that dominate and distort financial markets.

For ordinary investors, the costs would be negligible, like a tiny insurance fee to protect against crashes caused by speculation. But for the highfliers who are most responsible for the financial crisis, the tax could raise the cost of highly leveraged derivatives trading and stock-flipping enough to discourage the most dangerous behavior.

Remember the "flash crash" of May 6, 2010, when the Dow plummeted nearly 1,000 points? If a tax of only 0.25 percent on each transaction had been in place for just the twenty most frenzied minutes of that day, traders would've faced $142 million in fees.

And remember AIG's credit default swaps? A financial speculation tax might not have stopped those greed-crazed fools, but at least Uncle Sam would've taken in about $1.1 billion on the deals.

The Center for Economic and Policy Research predicts that a tax on trades of stocks, derivatives and other financial instruments would curb excessive speculation while generating around $150 billion a year. That would be enough, for example, to fill projected Social Security shortfalls, with dough left over for other domestic and international needs.

So US politicians must be jumping on this as a solution to the country's deficit problems, right? Not exactly. For more than a year, a diverse array of labor, consumer, environmental, global health and other progressive organizations have been hammering away on them, as part of a broader international campaign. But while legislators have introduced eleven bills to create various forms of speculation taxes, none have gained serious momentum.

In 2009, according to a WikiLeaks cable, former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown tried the diplomatic equivalent of a rugby maul to get Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner on board with a G-20 agreement on financial speculation taxes. Such international coordination, while not necessary, would help address concerns about potential tax avoidance.

But Brown, too, wound up empty-handed. Geithner's explanation: âI have not seen the version of that that I think works.â Perhaps he's been too busy bailing out Wall Street to research the issue. Around the world more than a dozen countries already collect some form of tax on financial transactions. A British levy on stock trades alone raises between $5 billion and $6 billion per year.

If more countries begin raising massive revenues from speculation taxes, US politicians may see the light. And the prospects for progress elsewhere are strong. In March the European Parliament called for an EU-wide transactions tax, based on a report that projected nearly 200 billion euros a year from a tax of 0.010.05 percent on each trade.

French President Nicolas Sarkozy has announced plans to launch a "coalition of pioneers" with German Chancellor Angela Merkel and others at the November G-20 leaders meeting. This would be a prime opportunity for President Obama to stand alongside them and vow to do what's right for the country's short-term fiscal crisis and the world's long-term health and stability. Let's hope he doesn't view this moment instead as a good time for a restroom break.

Read the next proposal in the âReimagining Capitalism [1] series, The Government Nudge: A Public Role in the Private Sector [2], by Robert Weissman.
Source URL: http://www.thenation.com/article/161257/cut-wall-street-down-size-financial-speculation-tax

Saki Sin

2011-06-10T15:16:00.000-05:00

I sinned the day before yesterday. So when my wife came home I asked her if I could confess. She was busy so said that she wasn't a confessional.

Yesterday I was thinking how nice to have a wife who isn't interested in my sins. I couldn't remember the previous day's sin anyway, so I was feeling quite good.

Then I was cooking a turkey breast and I read that white wine is good for that, so I added what was left in the bottle.

Problem was, after I poured it on the poor bird, I realized that it was some saki that was given to her, in a wine bottle, and not some wine that my daughter and her husband had left at our house. Oh, I'm in trouble, I thought.

My wife came home late that day. I told her I was so glad to have a wife that wasn't a confessional, and that I sinned again, but was glad that I didn't have to confess.

She said what she meant was that she wouldn't absolve me of my sins. So I thought that was fair, and told her I had done a terrible thing, mistaking the saki for wine.

She said she thought that was a good use for the saki.

I was absolved.

What Matters? A conversation with Ed.

2011-05-13T16:48:00.004-05:00

(l-r) Cousin Mark and Uncle Ed

I asked my uncle about truth last weekend. He asked for an example. I said, "are we awake or dreaming?" He said it didn't matter because we wouldn't know that we are dreaming. Then we talked about Intelligent Design's position that God created everything 7000 years ago, including predated fossils and light rays coming from the stars. He said that doesn't matter. We would still behave in the same way. I asked a friend. He said that if the world was only 7000 years old he would devote his life to proselytize that.

Then I thought about the Buddha who was asked if there was an afterlife. He said that there was too much to do (in the effort to save all sentient beings from suffering) to dwell on that. Was he saying the same thing as Uncle Ed?

Later I remembered that Bertrand Russell wrote in his autobiography that he used to worry about all kinds of things, but then one day realized that no matter what happened, in the immense universe it really wouldn't make much difference. Likewise, we all are invaluable where we work—until we get sick or are fired, or retire. Then our place of employment gets along fine without us.

When Ed mentioned that it didn't matter to him that we may be dreaming... or that the universe may be 7000 years old, it didn't feel good. I was feeling that I may be duped by falsity (like we aren't dreaming), and not know it. It would be a grand delusion in the Buddhist scheme of things.

Always to add to my confusion, I had "dokusan" with my zen teacher the other night. I asked him about "what matters" and he said (over about 35 minutes), "everything and nothing."

That certainly is not a barometer for deciding where I should be putting my energy. Later I thought about the absolute and the relative, the two worlds of zen (that are one, they say). In any case, in the absolute nothing matters because nothing exists, and in the relative world everything matters because everything exists.

In the meantime, having no barometer to live my life, I started thinking about Reb Anderson, another zen teacher, who said that you should walk on the Earth as if it is your mother's face. If something as mundane as walking on the earth (as a metaphor for everything we do) matters, then, at least in the relative world, everything matters.

Back to "dokusan" I did learn one thing that was important to me. I have delusions like we all do. We believe that things are as they appear, when in reality that appearance is a construct of our mind. We can't help that. What I can do is to not beat myself up for having those delusions. Rather, I can just say, I have delusions, and I can work to know and accept them.

As to how to decide where to put my eggs,* I guess I'll have to keep working on that.

Thanks, Ed.

*—as in, "don't put all your eggs in one basket."

Bats in Austin

2011-05-08T20:39:00.000-05:00

Grandparents Toast to Melissa & Eric

2011-05-07T13:27:00.000-05:00

We regret very much that we are unable to physically attend this joyous event of joining your lives in matrimony. Melissa, we know that your grandparents Pauline and Edmond Mosley would have been equally as enthusiastic as we are about this wedding. Rest assured that in our mind we are raising our glasses with the others here in a salute to your union.

Melissa: We are so thankful that Kim, Linda and you have given us the privilege of sharing your life from the very beginning. There have been many memorable occasions for us as we have watched your progress. We were entrusted with you at a very early age with visits for a week. On one visit, at bedtime, you told your grandfather to be sure and wake you in the morning before he left for work. The next morning we walked quietly to your room. You were soundly asleep. Your grandfather kissed you softly on the forehead, and left for work without waking you, knowing that when he returned home he was in for a full dressing down for not keeping his word. Other events included taking you to tennis lessons, tennis tournaments in Memphis and other cities. We attended a piano recital and of course numerous graduation ceremonies. The acme of all our memories is this wedding.

Eric: We were glad that you were so thoughtful to visit us with Melissa several months ago. We surmised that you and Melissa were having a serious relationship. We are pleased to welcome you into our family. You would have loved Pauline and Edmond. You would have enjoyed participating in their family conversation. I doubt that you could have evaded answering Edmond's challenging questions.

Laura and George Wetzel: We thank you for sharing your son with us. We hope our paths will somehow cross so that we will meet in person.

Melissa and Eric: May the spirit withh you be your moral compass in guiding your living for the rest of your lives. We love you very much,

Grandmother Dorothy (Dodie) and Grandfather Delmar (Del)
May 7, 2011

Wedding Toast

2011-05-07T10:19:00.007-05:00

Here's the wedding toast I gave at the rehearsal dinner of my daughter's wedding on 5/6/11.

My wife was quite worried about me giving a toast. Having a father-in-law who went on and on about some cryptic story on such occasions, she was afraid that I'd take too long, and say the wrong things.

Finally the worry got the best of her, and she decided that we'd do the toast together. I, trying to be a good sport (which is the only way to be as the bride's father), said "sure, let's do it." And further, so that I could give her every opportunity to do it as she saw fit, I said, "what do you suggest?"

"Let's start when she was born." At which point tears started streaming down her face. One tear led to another, and soon tears started coming down my face too. Soon I put on my rational cap and said, "maybe if we analyze why we can't do this we'll be able to do it. She responded, "It is just that I love them both so much." With that, the idea of us doing the toast together ended. So now let's toast to Melissa and Eric from Linda and me.

I'd like to say a few things about Melissa and Eric. What I like best about Melissa is what a nice person she is. Not long ago I brought a friend to see Melissa in her office. He remarked, "wow, she's not only a professor, but such a nice kid!" While the rest of her family had few social graces, she was always in the back seat of the car reading and rereading all the Sweet Valley High books.

What I like best about Eric is that he's not attached to his preferences. That's a Buddhist statement which confused me when I first heart it. I thought at first that it means to not have preferences, but no, it just means that you need to be ready to change your preferences when life changes (as it does moment by moment). So if you go into a store to buy a red tie, and they don't have any red ties, then you simply look at what is available and get another tie. Or perhaps go to another store. But you don't go postal. That accomplishes very little.

In 1999 my mother had a memorial service for herself. About six of the people who came are no longer with us. The last person who passed away was my cousin Larry. He was quite dismayed that I liked Buddhism better than Judaism (yes, a preference). So I decided, in memory of Larry, to start reading the Talmud.

First I read "think with your heart." I had no problem with that. In fact, I had asked my almost 5 year old grandson to let us know what that meant, but he said he wouldn't be my assistant on stage. He did put his hand on his heart, a gesture I'll never forget.

Just when I thought I had the secret of living the good life, I read a seemingly contradictory aphorism: control your passions. How can I do that, I thought, if I'm going to think with my heart? Ok, I thought, I'll think with my heart, but not really follow what it tells me. Is that what the Talmud is saying?

Very confused, I searched in the Talmud for the answer... and found it. It says not to pass up any opportunity to enjoy life. Rather than a black and white prescription for living, I was reminded that living the good life is a complex juggling act that takes constant vigilance.

It appears one of my sisters is telling me to cut this short. Oh, no, she's telling me to keep going.

In any case I'm almost done...

The other day I walked past the living room and started watching an old movie on TV. A young kid had kissed this beautiful woman while she was sleeping, and then the woman ran off. An older man finally declared his love for the woman. Everyone thought that he had been the one to kiss her. He said, "now I've lost the woman I love for something I didn't do." The young man said, "We have a question of love and truth here. When the two are together, it is very strong."

Like in the movie, Eric and Melissa have both—love and truth. Much much more than what John Lennon and Paul McCarthy coined as "all you need is love," which will be played as we dance at the wedding...

Here's a toast from me for Eric and Melissa.

He wasn't armed.

2011-05-03T21:16:00.000-05:00

We manage to get a black eye. That is what the Ugly American was about.

I didn't like the cheering. Now Bin Laden's followers have one more axe to grind.

And where do we draw the line?

I watched quite a few episodes of Dexter. Such a good intentioned man, only getting rid of the scum on Earth. That part of him worked "underground." But, otherwise, was he any different than the US of A?

In the blog, What Me Worry?, the author speaks of a friend who died in one of the planes that hit the World Trade Center. Skillfully she sticks to a compassionate memorial to the friend. She doesn't condemn Bid Laden, but rather describes her loss and the world's loss when her friend died.

Lots of questions about the value of human life, and whether we are bad people, or good people who do bad things.

In Italy I went to a museum devoted to torture. It reminded me that we have improved as a human race. We don't get pleasure in hurting others as we once did. I saw there a painting of a spring fair, with a torture going on to entertain the guests.

We don't quite do that anymore, or do we?

I don't know.

Spring

2011-04-30T22:24:00.002-05:00

Not Knowing What I Don't Know

2011-04-28T22:16:00.000-05:00

He spoke of not knowing,
rather than of knowing.

What don't I know?
Which begs the question
of what do I know?

I am here. Where is here?
Who am I? How do I know
I'm not dreaming?

What do we really know?
The bird sings, or is it
the tree rubbing against
my roof?

What do we really know?
How to do something
we've done a hundred times,
like cutting a vegetable in half
or putting on your shoes.

And then
we watch a pro,
and realize
we've never really
done it.

Imagine
if kids were graded
on
what they didn't know...
or if
essay tests asked,
what don't you
know about the subject.
Much harder to say
than what
you do know.

What do you know?

What do I know?

Efficient Exercise for Bursting Biceps

2011-04-26T14:15:00.003-05:00

I went to a new gym today
that touted
efficient exercise.

I expected an empty room.
Instead it
was a room
filled with weights and
muscle building machines.

The trainer had biceps
that tried to
burst out from his arms.

I asked,
"Could I have
biceps
like yours?"
"Only
if you have the same genetic
disposition,"
he said.

I replied,
"We are more alike
than penguins on an iceberg."
He answered,
"Yes,
we are all alike."

I left,
having no interest
in bursting
biceps.

Maybe, though,
I could sell
them on Craigslist.

Yesterday's Truth and more ADHD.

2011-04-25T22:44:00.000-05:00

Went tonight to hear W.S. Merwin (click link to read 12 of his poems). 84 years old, born in the year Babe Ruth hit 60 home runs. Now saving a rain forest in Maui, formerly studied Buddhism with Robert Aitken... and Poet Laureate of the US for 2010-2011. Wow! What a knock-out great man!

My favorite thing he talked about was the stuff we don't know... and how that was ok. He said that more knowledge wasn't necessarily better. Oh, he said so many things. Another moving thought was his reason for accepting the role of Poet Laureate, which would take him away from the Maui rain forest that he loves (and his dog). He said that he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he did say things that he needed to say... and he'd be able to say those things as Poet Laureate.

I titled this "Yesterday's Truth" and realized when I woke up this am that what I wrote yesterday was yesterday. The great thing about being human is we can change our mind. We can change our path. One day we can fast and the next day we can eat sardines. Though some places we don't have the freedoms we have here in the U.S. of A. I don't understand the people who are disgusted with the U.S. What are they comparing it too?

Wouldn't it be great if students were graded on what they didn't know. We ask people, "what do you know?" But maybe a better test of their intelligence would be to ask them what they don't know (a la Socrates). I read tonight that for most of us, evolution is just a story. We take someone's word for it. Others believe in "intelligent design"... another story. Do we really know much of anything... or do we just believe?

I was thinking about the comment about my ADHD that one of my former student ascribed to me (glad that is not his profession). As I walked down the sidewalk tonight on the way to the poetry reading I was thinking about that, and about how everything is related to everything. I watched people walk on the sidewalk, and I watched the sidewalk receive the footsteps. It was never "out of step." And the cars were passing, and the noises were filling the air, and nothing was out of place.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Well, how are you... really? (Too personal?)

2011-04-24T21:50:00.001-05:00

Johnny Rose texted me telling me he was safe from the tornado that went through St. Louis. Look at his website. He's quite a colorful character. Anyway, I didn't recognize his phone number so I texted back "who r u?" He texted, "Johnny Rose. How are you, really?" I responded that I'd answer him on my blog.

Today I heard about Roz Savage, a banker who gave it all up to row across the Atlantic. We work hard to build a fort to die in. Then some of us realize that we want to live rather than die. My wife and I had built a pretty sweet place in St. Louis. We thought we'd be there forever. And then we decided to move. Actually she decided, and I went along for the ride... and I'm glad I did.

In the 60s my friend Peter said, "why don't you become Kim the photographer?" He was responding to my interest in everything even though my first love was photography. Peter became a great landscape architect in Nova Scotia, and his wife, a fellow sculpture student of mine, became a doctor. What happened to me?

I took a workshop this weekend with Marc Lesser. Toward the end of the workshop, we had a journaling exercise. He asked us to write about how, if everything went as we wanted it to, what would our life look like in the next three years?

I never liked assignments. My first instinct is that I'm not going to do it. So I intended to do something else.

(I'm annotating, adding and changing this as I copy it from a scrap of notepaper.)

Maybe I don't want to go down the path I'm walking. I like the thoughts and the friends, but I miss being 100% immersed in art. (And now I'm watching a movie with the ocean in it, and think, wow... that's what I want... the ocean. Wow! Glad that movie is over. Now I can focus on this.)

Going at things as I've been doing, I hope to accomplish in three years a few simple things: controlling my eating, my addiction to email, taking regular walks with my wife, and seeing my daughter and her husband in a home that suits them. I hope to continue and improve my writing, and to increase my readers as well. But what about pictures.

Something is lonely about making art. Well, not lonely, but I did write that. It is all about "I" and as I wrote to my cousin today, I'm getting over "I" after nursing him for 64 years. We've had a falling out, of sorts.

First I used a camera as a way of not being in the middle of things, and then painting. All I wanted was to be in life, rather than talking about life. I no longer want to do the art that I programmed myself to do. It isn't cute anymore (I think my mother used to say that about my infantile behavior (when it would occur)). The imagery I brought from STL is dead for me right now. It is wallowing in self. It says "I am me" and I'm bored with that after 50 years.

I'm imagining imaging the cosmos, like Eric's painting that we have on our fireplace.

And all this came from the path I've been walking.

And now, just when you think you (and I) know how I'm doing, I have to print two more pictures that I'm doing for an exhibit that needs to go out tomorrow.

Thanks for the question, Johnny Rose.

Diaristic Notations

Vegetable Soup

Three Perfect Candidates: Political Pacifism

Santorum, abortion, and equanimity.

Kate's comments on prosperity.

Karl Marx: Is it good or bad? Prosperity and Equality for all.

$20,000 an hour

Romney pays a lot of taxes.

Answering a question about buddha nature with a question.

It isn't what you plan.

More on Vulture Capitalism

Vulture Capitalism

How to post a comment on a blog post.

What was Buddha Thinking?

Dialogue with Angela on Freedom, Veganism, and the Environment

Born again Vegan

More questions about "No Self"

No Self for Dummies

This monologue hurts my brain...

My understanding of "no self"

Anger: Decision or Emotion

Angry about the pollution

Seafood Watch

Banks aren't the culprit.

Seven Old Images

Kate's worries about the poor.

Capitalism run by moral and ethical people of conscience

Capitalism won't do the job... a reply to Rachel.

The Brandeis Ratio of Rich and Poor

Naked or Nude or ?

Anger serves a constructive purpose... not.

More on Dogma, Analysis, and Intuitive Wisdom... and Anger

Al Gore's Dogma and Anger, and the limit to my intuitive wisdom.

Kate's questions about emissions

More from Kate on Climate Change

Let me try again...

What would it take to convince me?

Homeless Art

Global Warming Dilemma and Improving the Quality of Our Lives

What did Buddha mean?

Barking Dogs

Noam Chomsky Strikes Again

Emotions at the Doctor's Office

Banana Peeling Event

Yes, Kate, teach all the denial theories too!

El Contrario, Hijacker

Non-profits in a Free Society

Pool Career

Hat

Press Check

Almost Printed

Hydration Station

Scale

Hot in Austin

Still lifes with Orange

Non-intentional/Intentional (Who wins?)

Same old, same old

Costco Intention

Alligatorscape and Hatscape

Too Young to Die

Checking In...

Detour Ahead

Texas Alligator

One-way Conversation

A Family of Artists, by Jasper

UPenn Animation Class

Josh and Jasper Animating

Jasper and Dash

Parents as Benevolent Dictators

Tomorrow might be Doomsday

Still More on Walmart

Walmart reply.

Why I like Walmart...

Cysts?

Sloppy Attempt #1,000,000

Gasping for Life

Meditation for Kids... or Why I Sit?

We are PCs...

Pair #1

Every #1