Shopping is not fun.

If the Gov. shuts down will I still have to pay taxes? US Male.

I like to wear large shirts. My wife says they don't fit and buys me medium shirts. I don't like them because they fit kind of snug, and then I feel constrained. So I returned the medium shirt to Nordstrum's Rack, and then bought a large Hawaiian shirt from Costco. She thought it was beautiful when I had it in my hands. "Oh, it is polyester," she said. Then she looked at the tag and saw that it was silk. One point for me. Then I put it on, and she said, "but it is too big." So it, as comfortable as it was, will go back to Costco.

I bought some tuna... or, kind of. I put eight cans in my cart. I figured I could have half of a can a day... and it would last sixteen days... and I would get some good protein. Then I went to the self check-out line at Costco and told the roving helper there that I didn't want it. I set it on top of the scanning station. I kept asking myself, "should I" or "shouldn't I?"

I've heard that we make unconscious decisions before we make conscious decisions. And then we rationalize to explain to ourselves and others why we do things. The truth is, we don't know. Anyway, I then switched sides (they used to call me "jelly Mosley") and decided to buy the tuna. I turned toward the place I had set the cans, and alas, they were gone. Problem solved.

Why did I write about the shirts and the tuna? It is the free samples and the Talmud that interest me most. So the Talmud says to contain one's passion, but to not pass up an opportunity for pleasure. I tried some great guacamole salsa and chips. The salsa was made by a company called Fat Tomato... or something like that. I asked the demonstrator why they'd call a company that. She said because they only use the fattest tomatoes. So not to pass up an opportunity for pleasure, I not only took a second sample (I asked first), even if it was against my "rules," but I put a jar of the salsa into my cart. I told the cute woman who was preparing the sample that this is the first time I bought something I sampled. She said she was doubly pleased, since it was my first time. I didn't tell her that her looks were the tipping point. I wheeled my cart about ten feet from the stand, and wondered how I was going to eat the big bottle in 3 or 4 weeks, supposedly its shelf life. I returned the bottle to her, saying, "I'm sorry. I don't think I'll be able to use it." "Well, thank you anyway," she said. Again, a "jelly Mosley" move.

One more thing. I've been trying to quit reading email all day long. I decided this morning that I'd just do it three times a day. Three is such a great number. Everything in Buddhism comes in three. Everything, that is, except for those things that don't. In any case, I lasted about 2 hours. I think it is harder than quitting smoking. Imaging knowing that you have mail in the mailbox but have to wait 5 hours to see what it is. For some, it is a piece of cake. For others (like me), it is excruciating. In Buddhism, we call that "an opportunity for practice." In the Talmud, it is an opportunity to contain passion. Passion? Maybe it is not passion that drives us to see if "I got mail."

Eat Ur heart out Charlie Brown

Eat Ur heart out Charlie Brown

Obama's Chutzpah

It cost the burglar when he could not open the safe. He sued and won.

Obama: "There’s nothing serious about a plan that claims to reduce the deficit by spending a trillion dollars on tax cuts for millionaires and billionaires." Amen.

That's what someone wrote on their FB page. Amen. I'm a little taken back with Obama's chutzpah in saying that Uncle Sam would be spending a trillion dollars on tax cuts if he'd reduce taxes. One spends money when they buy something. They don't "spend" when they stop taking what isn't theirs.

Would such a "reduction" reduce or enlarge the deficit? Even if we had an eight-ball, we still wouldn't know. So many other factors come into play that the effect of one action gets lost in the mix.

I like to remember that anyone who is earning a billion dollars is not only supporting many many lives, but may be plenty of taxes (depending on whether the earnings are from income or dividends... and what loopholes are employed). At 25%, it would be $250,000,000. That is much more than that person benefits in terms of goods and services provided by Uncle Sam. Is it their fair share? Because they can afford more, should we take it? And is that the gauge—what someone can afford?

Sounds a little like Karl Marx, "From each works according to his ability, to each according to his need."

Majorities have a scary amount of power in a democracy.

Good and Bad, and the Talmud

Remember, if you grow any taller I might not hit the apple.

I wanted to be taller. But tall people hit their head more than I do. One of the deans at the college I was at used to say "careful what you wish for."

I've been pretty hard on the Talmud, but now I'm starting to get into it. Esp. when it gives me permission to do something I thought I shouldn't do. So here's what happened:

I went to the Central Market to buy some fish and potatoes. It was a Talmud exercise... kind of. Well, the Talmud said to think with your heart and to control your passions. With that, I wouldn't buy fish, because my heart would tell me not to kill a fish, and my passion to eat a fish would be controlled. And since the Talmud said to control my passion I wasn't going to eat any free samples either.

But then I walked by a guy who was handing out free all-beef hotdog samples. I thought about another line from the Talmud that said something about living your life so that you don't pass by any pleasure... something like that... I'm sure it wasn't referring to free sample hotdogs... but it was written a while ago too. I passed by the guy, and then did an about face, and not only ate the scrap of hot dog, but the free cheese sample and a few others.

Later I thought about my cousin Larry who recently left earth. He was very disappointed that I was not more involved in Judaism. He loved my parents, but I'm sure thought they are erred greatly in not teaching us about our roots.

We got so close...

We got so close it got dark.

If Gov. shuts down...

If the Gov. shuts down will I still have to pay taxes?

Judgment Day

http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/273664 claims that "The poorest households in the United States gave on average 4.3 percent of their income while the richest fifth gave just 2.1 percent of their income."

And http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=2682730&page=1 claims that the conservative, poor, and religious give the most. 

As usually, the rich don't come off smelling like a rose. Is it true that they don't give their fair share? What about the progressive tax system? David Friedman, in a recent post, claimed that Adam Smith didn't support that. Can we think of the progressive tax as a means for getting the rich to pay their fair share. Or, do we believe the studies that said when taxes were less the rich were more philanthropic?

There are many types of giving. One is putting a few dollars in a passed basket at church. Another is providing a great education for your children or littering the world with fine art. That gives to society. In the end, I think we are short-sided when we try to make judgments. And here's a quote from the Talmud that I agree with wholeheartedly (well, depending on your interpretation): "A person will be called to account on Judgment Day* for every permissible thing he might have enjoyed but did not.”

*—In some judgment days, the world is destroyed for the sins of mankind. In the Jewish judgment day, the book is opened that has all of our deeds. For those of us who haven't behaved there is an opportunity for repentance and a change of our ways.

Let the fear of Heaven be upon you. (More Talmud)

3. Antigonus of Soko received from Shime'on ha-Çaddiq. He used to say, Be not as slaves that minister to the lord with a view to receive recompense; but be as slaves that minister to the lord without a view to receives recompense; and let the fear of Heaven be upon you.

Rosedale Tar Drip

I don't know why so many of these wise Jewish sayings have three statements in them, and the first two are much easier to take than the third. They are almost like a syllogism:

No lazy people pass exams.
Some students pass exams.
Some students are not lazy.

You agree with the first two statements and then feel like you've been sold a bill of goods. You know "students are lazy." That's why they are students. And professors are lazy too. Even Picasso had those moments drinking wine and chasing after women. What a waste that was!

The Jewish pearls of wisdom are like Buddhist koans. It is easy to buy the idea of not doing things for recompense (or gain), and it is a fine idea to work for the lord (esp. when the lord is defined as "all things"), but how can one do any of this with a fear of Heaven? Is this a fear that if we do things for gain, and we are not ministers of the lord, we'll be struck dead?

Beats me...

...she says I need shoes.

My wife looked at my face as we were going to the mall. "This is worse than a root canal for you, isn't it?"

I got to go to the Apple store, and fell in love with the $69 track pad. But didn't get one. Then went to Brookstone and drew a picture on a Boogie Pad. You can write a note on it... and... well, that's it. So I drew a picture and promptly the salesman erased me. I asked him what he thought he was doing. I said I wanted to take a picture of my picture. So I drew another picture.

Oh, the suit. First I went to Men's Warehouse. They had a two for one sale. I knew I didn't want two suits, so I texted my future son-in-law and asked him if he'd want a suit. He texted back, "get two." I texted back, "daughters or suits." 

Then I went to Macy's and another dept. store. One had an expensive suit, and another a cheap suit that didn't fit. 

Then, on a lark (I suspect I was drugged), I went to Nordstrom and bought some suit. We forgot to photograph me with the pants... but here's "it" with jeans.

I sent this picture to my daughter. She asked about the pants. I told the saleslady that my mom always wanted to buy a suit for me. She said my mom will love it. Mom... Mom... do you love it? 

I then saw tears in my wife's eyes... and asked her what was wrong. She said she was so happy I got a suit. 

And now she says I need shoes. 

THE HEART IS SOVEREIGN

I found this on the web at http://www.sacred-texts.com/jud/wott/wott10.htm

The rabbis were impressed with the profoundly important role that emotions play in life. The heart, which they looked upon as the seat of emotion, was regarded by them the principal source of control over all human actions. "All of man's bodily organs are dependent on the heart," was a Talmudic dictum. It is the heart therefore which may be said to carry responsibility for whatever we do in life. Thus one rabbinic comment offers us the sweeping generalization: "The heart sees, hears, speaks, walks, falls, stands, rejoices, hardens, softens, grieves, fears, is broken, is haughty … persuades, errs, fears, loves, hates, envies, searches, reflects. …"

The rabbis prized highly the ability of some people to control their emotions. To control one's emotions and to bring life under the directing voice of reason was regarded by the rabbis as the mark of true heroism. "Who is a hero?" one rabbi asked in the ethical treatise Abot. His reply was: "He who controls his passion."

I thought it was somewhat contradictory. Loving, hating, envying, and controlling one's passion. I asked my neighbor who has a Ph.D. in Electrical Engineering (but never took a course in the field) about the heart. He said something about the organ that pumps blood.

Is the controlling of passion what the Buddhists call "equanimity?" I hoped to ask the Rabbi tonight, but he didn't come to a meeting (about the environment) at the temple that I went to tonight.

Penny Pincher, Suit Tomorrow, Off the Wagon

Today I decided I would save $1 plus postage and drive to the license bureau to get my new sticker. So I went there and waited in line. Finally I almost got the sticker, but the clerk needed my insurance card. I said it was in my car. She said she'd wait. I went out to my car to get it, brought it back, and, upon inspection, the clerk surmised it was for a different car. Opps! She said I could have faxed the right one... but I started thinking that because I wasn't in the last month before the sticker expires I was getting eleven months for the price of twelve. I ended up leaving to return some Lands End jeans to Sears. They just didn't fit, and they didn't have the kind that did. I asked Sears if they had what I wanted, but the woman at the cash register said I needed to wait for the other woman who had gone to the break room for a Snickers. So I waited a short time and then gave up and went to my car to call my wife to see what I needed to get from the grocery store.

After eating Sunday all the good food left over from a party on Saturday, I decided to get on the wagon this morning. Had one tortilla, a few beans and some veges for breakfast. From there it was down hill, esp. after getting the results of my blood test and seeing how low was my cholesterol.

I bought six salmon steaks for a party of eight tonight. I knew one person is a strict vegan, and I was going to be the second. But at the last moment I cut all the steaks in half, ate a bunch myself, and there was enough left for a snack and then some.

So, like the rest of the human race, I'll try tomorrow to get back on the wagon... which maybe I'll not do tomorrow since cold salmon is my favorite food, or maybe not that wagon.

I asked my wife if tomorrow is suit day, and she said "yes, we don't have much time before we'll need it." Herb sent me the name of a place where you buy a suit and you get the next half of a suit free... or maybe it was the second suit for half price. Unlikely I'll get two suits, having a true need for none. Except my daughter thinks I'll like a suit because the women will all want to dance with me. But I don't like to dance, so my plan for no suit was better than I thought.

Anyway (feeling a lot like Holden Caulfield) I guess tomorrow is the day. Hopefully we'll find some likable and smart salesperson who can find something for me quickly. I've learned patience... but not with shopping.

Situational Ethics

I don't want to buy a suit. My dad left me all these fine suits and I think I just gave the last one to my future son-in-law. They didn't fit. My dad was 20 fewer pounds that I. And they all had stains. My dad got a little sloppy and hard of seeing in his old age (though never sloppy in his thinking).

So Tuesday I'll go get a suit, I guess... My daughter is pretty certain she wants a nice suit walking her down the aisle. It is against my principles to buy clothes other than t-shirts and jeans.

But the situation demands.

Every time my mom and I would walk past some fancy clothes store she'd say, "let me buy you a suit." And I'd say, "no, mom, I don't need it."

Then the situation changed. We had a memorial service for my mom. So I went to Brooks Brothers and bought a jacket. It still works... but it is for cold weather. And it is starting to look a little worn, given that I wore it many many times.

I find that principles are prone to keep me from being alive... from responding to the needs of the moment. We ask people, as a criticism, "don't you have any principles?" Wouldn't it be a good answer, "no, I'm not attached to my preferences?"

How do we act when the signposts are not clearly marked?

I like to think, like the next guy (or gal), that I have principles. Do steal, don't lie, don't cheat. That's what my mother told me. But when she caught me smoking in my room two nights in a row... I told her that Confucius said that sometimes we should lie. She didn't believe me. So we both read through Confucius for a couple of days until one of us found it.

In Buddhism, there is talk of using "skillful means." Does this mean to lie, steal, and cheat? Maybe. If it is the only way to help someone move along the Way.

There is another Buddhist saying that one should not be attached to their preferences. Are preferences "principles." Kindof, sortof. Aren't they?

My mother-in-law said that she votes Republican, no matter what. Even if her favorite granddaughter (she only has one) is running on the Democratic ticket. Geeze, I'd vote for any party if my daughter was running. But then I might try to persuade her not to tow the party line.

I recently wrote about GE and the fact that they didn't pay taxes. Some have principles that rich companies should pay lots of taxes. I'm more of the elk that if they figure out how not to pay taxes, so much the better. But I'm not an advocate of big government.

Or war... but, throwing out principles, I love to see situations where mass murders are averted by military action (if that really was the case in Libya).

So how do we act, without principles? Well, we weight the benefits and consequences of each action and see what is worse... or better. What is difficult is that the signposts are not clearly marked.

GE is not an individual. GE cannot make individual choices. GE cannot be evil or not evil because it is not human.

As I sat this evening I thought about Kate's comments (the title of this post) and also thought about a discussion I had Saturday with a guy where I jumped on him when he said that we weren't computers (I think we are).

From a sociological perspective, a group has a personality like an individual. And so does a company. They do make choices and they can be evil. Just look at a "hanging party."

Individuals are not all that responsible for their choices. They are conditioned to think and feel in certain ways. They are physiologically wired to behave in certain ways... to be nurturing, to be angry, to be selfish.
So are individuals really free spirits? And if they are not, are companies?

And then there is the question of blaming GE because they made use of existing loopholes in the tax law. Since their promise to stockholders was to make a profit, I'm wondering if they'd be shirking their duties if they didn't take advantage of every loophole. People don't invest in GE because they are going to give their profits away. They want dividends or at least reinvestment.

GE paid no taxes... Good for them!

GE made great profits but paid no taxes. They are being deemed evil.

Before you hang them, consider the amount of taxes their employees and stockholders pay. Consider the jobs they create. Consider what we'd be without them.

And evil GE invests money in other countries. That's US dollars that can either go under a mattress, or eventually come back to the US. And, in the meantime, we've helped others. Is that so evil?

See Jon Stewart for more details. Every coin has two sides.

Returned from Taxes

I've been working on tax stuff... trying to get as much as I can back from Uncle Sam. Maybe it will prevent one bullet from being made... and one bullet from being spent. Or maybe the opposite. How can we know?

I went through a period of wanting "thanks"... and then I thought about the times we give food to the Buddha and he doesn't say anything. We should be thanking him because he gives us the opportunity to give. So then I decided just to say thanks... to people who give, and to people who take. Both are gifts. Thanks.

Last night, Pat spoke about anger. I remember a child psychologist who told my parents (when I was a kid and not doing well in school) that I had "extreme hostility toward my dad." It surprised me. I told my dad "did you know about this." He laughed. I thought about that as Pat gave her talk. She said that she didn't think of herself as an angry person... just as a person who sometimes (and justifiably) lets off steam.

I'm noticing lots of anger around me. Lots. Lots of intolerance too. On Facebook, someone was talking about a teacher in Kentucky who was blaming Obama for the recession. Someone wrote about how this was an "untruth." Are there really truths and untruths? Don't you think you could find a very brilliant thinker who would challenge anything we hold to be true. I know a not-so-brilliant thinker who would be glad to do so (me).

One of my classmates the other night said that she was dealing with her hate for Republicans. We were being asked to describe our "tree spirits"... demons that touch our buttons. Usually in the next sentence I hear "and they are so intolerant." Its the pot calling the kettle black. Rage. Rage. Lots of rage in the air.

I'd bring my fire extinguisher next week, but the little dial says, "time for refill."

Suffering: Greed, Hate, and Delusion

We learn from Buddhism that suffering comes from ignorance which breeds greed, hate, and delusion. When we believe that all the good in our life is permanent, and then it changes, we take it personally. We hurt.

And then there is a 9.0 earthquake in Japan. Which was enough, but coupled with a tsunami caused endless suffering that appears to even be impacting Japan's very strong economy.

Is this still an "opportunity for practice?" How does a good Buddhist (if "good" can be applied to a Buddhist) respond?

And what might be a compassionate response? One priest said to me, "I'd say, how can I help?" Most of us suffer. And our suffering borders on the ludicrous compared with those without resources such as water, food, shelter, etc. And what about those who can't venture outside lest they be struck with a bullet or kidnapped for ransom?

The Buddha said that suffering was all around us, and yet unnecessary. If we follow the Eightfold path (he said) we can be freed from suffering. Not from pain. But from suffering. That distinction seems to be the essence here. Suffering is a response to pain. There are others. "How can I help?" or "I'm so sorry for your pain" are others. So perhaps compassion might best be a reaction to pain, not suffering. Helping others to understand the difference might shed some of that suffering. We all know of people in constant pain, yet full of love and happiness, enjoying their life to the fullest extent. And others, with barely a misfortune, who wish they never had stepped foot on earth. Is this a choice we can make? I think so.

Another Question

Last week the gentleman asked if zen would make him a better parent. Today, sitting on the same cushion, a man asked why is sitting worth it when other activities seem to be more profitable considering the time involved.

We used to call these teachable moments. Luckily, I was not the teacher. There wasn't time to discuss my ideas of profit, and a quote from the Bible "what shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul" would not work since you lose your soul in Zen, discovering that the soul (called "self") does not exist.

The teacher did mention that Zen is not a gaining activity (my words). The problem with saying that "sitting will do this for you" is that if people sit for that benefit they might miss the experience while waiting for the award to come. Doing things for the result never work out too well. And if the result doesn't come, we live the rest of life dressed in bitterness.

Then the teacher said that dana (donations) was important). The next thing I know is that a basket was being passed. That didn't feel good to me, especially at a beginners' class. I think we ought to get drug pushers to teach classes in hooking customers. They give the product away until the customer is hooked... and then they start charging—or so I've heard.

In any case, I politely took the basket and passed it on.

What will next week bring?

kim the old man tan hat

How did she know? I went to this Greek restaurant down the street from the Zen center to have dinner. I had a GroupOn coupon... that they wouldn't let me use for lunch. There were three young musicians there singing Greek songs. They were good, but the combination of the concrete floor, the loud music (to my hearing aids), and the bright lights led me to order dinner to take out.

The waitress asked if I'd like a Greek salad with my dinner (which included salad). I said sure. Then she hit me with the bill... I didn't realize the Greek salad was more. No problem... I thought. I'm getting this dinner cheap.

Then she gave me the receipt. It said "kim the old man tan hat." "Holy s..t," I thought. So I asked her if that was supposed to describe "me." "Yes," she said, "it is loud in here so we have to describe people."

I came home and sat down to eat. Soon my wife came home and I asked her if she'd like to share. Then I asked her how anyone would think I'm an old man with a hat covering up my bald head. Unfortunately she told me... my grey sideburns, my posture... at that point I had enough and quit listening.

Austin is a town with mostly young people. I like that... especially when I'm feeling like one of the kids. So if you see me, please tell me how young I look... and don't, please don't, call me "the old man tan hat."

Quitting Zen

I quit zen last week. Cold turkey. It had something to do with the reason I retired... to only do art. Did it feel good! Just like "emptying a tea pot" (my teacher's words today).

Then Saturday I sat in on a beginner's sitting class (which I'm supposed to do three times before teaching such a class). I can't remember why I went... having quit.... except that after the class there was a talk that I wanted to hear by a Qi Gong practitioner. At the class, one of the students asked if studying zen would help him rearing his children?

When I observe a class I try not to talk. But I was intrigued by his question. What a great way to evaluate an activity... will it make me a better parent?

As I looked around the room I saw people who had come there for themselves. Or at least, all of them besides the father who wanted to be a better father. Then I saw myself, four years ago, at my first beginner's class (actually it was one-on-one). I went there for myself. Not because I wanted to be a better parent.

After awhile I couldn't contain myself. Sitting is not something we just do for ourselves, but for all. (I can just hear some saying, "but don't sit for me.") I tried to explain how, if we become quiet, centered, focused, or whatever good might come of our sitting, then we might pass that on to others. And them to others. And not just to people, but to other things... even to the sidewalk. Imagine how good a sidewalk would feel if people didn't just stomp on it.

So my Zen teacher had a jerky mouse today. I tried to fix it on his aging computer. As I waited for some program to download we started talking. That's when he told me about emptying a tea pot.