The One Stooge

I was plumbing today. My job was to fix a dripping faucet. In the process I hit some drain pipes and knocked them apart. The water in the sink started coming down the drain onto a cabinet. Over and over again I'd sponge it up with a paper towel, and then squeezed the water into the sink. Down it would come again. Where's my wife? How can I call a plumber? Where's a bucket? Help! This went on for about 1/2 of an hour when I finally realized that I was the culprit, putting water in the sink that was then falling onto the floor of the cabinet. Stupid? Funny? Don't laugh... please!

Openness, transparency, very very married.

When we were working on developing a vision for distance learning, we realized that the continuum was a much better model that having some classes in the distance mode and others not. In the same way, some individuals are very married to another, while some are very unmarried. It is unlike pregnancy (no one is a little pregnant).

Maybe at the beginning of a marriage some think they are very married, and, in the realm of anything being possible, I guess that might be possible. One of the last things my dad said was that now he can be with my mom [in the sky]. That certainly is on the end of the continuum that represents "very very married."

Betty gave a talk yesterday on openness. I asked a question about the relationship of openness and transparency.  I should be more open about how I am better at asking questions than at listening to the answers. I'm not as good as others at digesting information. Part of this is probably physiological, and the other part is that I want to fully chew things before I swallow them. And the process of chewing interferes with the listening.

In any case, openness seems like an action while transparency is a state of being. A forest is transparent in that it is all before your senses. But it is neither open nor closed. Openness is something you do. Transparency is something you can be. Maybe it is like naked or nude. Openness is when you take your clothes off and you are naked. Nude is that natural state of being without clothes and being transparent.

Do others see this differently?

Marriage. Ceased to exist?

Thanks to all who congratulated me on my change of status. Did my status really change? I am a little more sure of my status than I was a week ago. So I guess my status did change.

We have a sloppy language when it comes to marriage. My wife and I got married by making a life together over 41+ years. My daughter is getting married in May, but will she then be married? To what extent is someone married when they get married.

Then there is the issue of truth being a construct of what we believe. We believe our experiences. But when we go to a magic show and see the beautiful nymph sawed in half do we believe that? No. Is that an exception? Can we trust experience? I was suspicious last week that my experience of being married was not proof that I was married.

We have friends who say they like us? Do we believe them? We see a sticker on a car that it will go 31 mpg. Do we believe that? Some are told that when they die we'll have access to 27 virgins? Do even the most devout really believe that?

We live in a world that is in our head. Yet be operate as if the world is "out there." We drive into a tree and we don't stop in time. What did we hit? A tree? Some particles that congregate to form the illusion of a tree in our mind. Maybe.

If the county really wanted to know if I was married what could they say or do? And what happens to all those licenses when someone gets divorced. Do they stamp them "ceased to exist?"

Is it Art? Is it Real?

I spent much of today with my body contorted, my mind high on a muscle relaxant and Aleve. Finally went to a good doc. who straighten me out and even ran shocks through my body which seemed like being in a hot tub. I sure appreciate being "straight" again after waking up so crooked.

I wondered about Michelangelo's David. It is not easy in Florence to find David. He is tucked away in a labyrinth of  narrow streets, and you are risking life and limb walking because of the motor scooters that you are dodging.

I imagined that some might find the wrong place where, instead of the real David, they find a perfect copy. People, not knowing that it was not David, would admire it just the same as if it were real. Believing something is real is necessary for the experience. It doesn't need to be real.

Yet, in terms of economics, one is priceless and the other is not. Though one could be just as good as the other.

The famed Japanese printmaker, Munakata, said that when he is asked to authenticate his work, he detected the fakes because they are too good. In this case, the buyer might pay more for a lesser work of art. Munakata also said that he didn't like sharp knives because he was afraid he'd cut himself.

So we stand in front of one thing and say that it is so wonderful, and in front of another and say that it is a copy of something so wonderful. What is really the difference? Is this another example of how much we make up in our heads?

The Knot is Tied

The certificate came today, with a seal and signatures. We are now legal. Yea. My son called and asked what this is all about. I explained that we didn't know if we were really married. This was pre-computer. Yet they had the original. Yea for Peoria. I said that without proof marriage is just in your head. He asked, "what about with proof." I said it was still just in your head.

I was thinking of the butterfly effect when I was sitting zazen today. Without much thought, or at least thought that I don't remember, we went in 1969 to the Peoria Justice of the Peace to get a marriage license. Between that time and today we created and altered lives, some negatively and some positively. And this rather random act of getting "hitched" caused countless changes in the universe. I was contemplating some of those changes today.

We are all Amateurs and Photographers are not Artists (?)

Alfred Stieglitz said once, "if you're an amateur, and, of course, we are all amateurs..." A poster on Photoforum said (perhaps with a bit of shame) "she had no education in Art." How I envy her!

Here's a quote by Shunryu Suzuki-roshi (1905 - 1971), who was responsible for creating a vigorous Zen movement in America. "So the most difficult thing is always to keep your beginner's mind. There is no need to have a deep understanding of Zen. Even though you read much Zen literature, you must read each sentence with a fresh mind. You should not say, "I know what Zen is," or "I have attained enlightenment." This is also the real secret of the arts: always be a beginner. Be very very careful about this point. If you start to practice zazen, you will begin to appreciate your beginner's mind. It is the secret of Zen practice."

We sometimes are ashamed of our beginner's mind. I was writing a week ago about how hard it is to emulate the drawings of a child. Yet we recognize that the child's drawings are often more expressive than the adult's. The second we are not learners but "teachers" we cease projecting an excitement for the subject. Andy is a good model of someone who is always curious and looking for new ways to do things. He is never satisfied with what he already knows and is forever seeking out new challenges.

On another note, I wonder why people say "photography and art." To me, that would be like saying "women and human beings" (my wife would shoot me (deservedly)). Photography is a way of making art. On the other hand (to show that no two photographers agree), one of my teachers, Art Sinsabaugh, would become very defensive if anyone called him an artist. "I'm not an artist," he'd say, "I'm a photographer." I don't think he liked the special privileges that go with being an artist (artistic license, for example). He just wanted to show what he saw.

Wedding News

should come tomorrow. What was in the mail, wasn't, but now is.

So forty-one years plus a bunch of days later, we still wait to see if it is official. I asked for a fax, but no, licenses can't be faxed.

My wife-to-be isn't very anxious about all this. She's either confident that it is a non-issue, is taking valium, doesn't care, or has confidence that whatever we did was authentic.

Stay tuned!