Thursday, April 9, 2020


I was fortunate to participate today in an IFS (Internal Family Systems) demo. I asked about “impulse control” so I was the guinea pig. I don’t have a lot of impulse control. In IFS, such parts as Impulser dances with the Manager, who wants to lock him out of the house. That way Impulser gets suppressed and all is well until they aren’t. Of course, Impulser is very persistent, saying, “I want it and I want it now.” Manager understands this and decides to work with Impulser. In fact, if these two incongruous beings could have a better relationship there wouldn’t be so much grief for me. J brought over 3 chocolate chip muffins baked by her daughter E as a thank you for something we did for her. I had my lunch finally at 3pm, and then ate one of the muffins. They were still warm, and “out of this world,” so two would be better and three, the best. Manager has a way of patiently smiling at Impulser and saying, “Wait and it will be better.” Impulser is noting the wisdom of his boss, and remembers the mantra he learned when he was a short-order cook, “Whatever you say, boss… I’ll give it a try.” But now for the real test. There are two muffins left. Impulser wants to fill each of my cheeks with one. Manager wants to offer one to Linda who so nicely just made me a bowl of tea. I could save one for tomorrow and one for the next day. Impulser says eat one now and one in 5 minutes. “You deserve it,” he says to himself. Manager says, “My God, you could give one to Linda  and have a muffin tomorrow if you hold off. Think how good that will be. I know this putting off is difficult, Impulser. But isn’t the reward greater than the deprivation? You aren’t even hungry. One was great. I know you’ll like another one too… but did you know, most of our taste is with the first bite?” “Really?” said Impulser. “Yes,” said Manager.

Anatomy Lesson and Love