Which flower did he hold up?

Buddha held up a flower. Sometimes it is depicted as a pure white lotus, but I like it better when it is a lotus with its roots dripping mud. That’s who I was today when I led service and messed up the robe chant. There were hopefully some moments where the “beautiful” end of the flower was revealed, but the mud was there as well. The point is not to be a stone buddha, nor to be a wild animal. It is the pure white lotus and the mud, all in one bundle. That's why Kashyapa smiled... or not.