Not bad, not good — joined at the hips.

One might think that not bad is good, and not good is bad. But maybe they are the same, or at least, just what they are.

Lost and Found

So we
have
our
granddog
staying with
us & we took
a walk
&
got loss.

But now I'm fo-
und.

Who is it who ties us up?

Saving all beings...

Dad
From our neighborhood elist: "The boy's father stood on the far edge of the pool and ordered the boy -- about four or five years old -- to walk around the pool and jump off the diving board. When he hit the water, the boy panicked, and he started flailing around, screaming and going under. My son [a conscientious lifeguard] dove in and rescued the hysterical boy and swam him to the side of the pool and helped him out. The father stood several yards away the whole time and never made a move to help or come over. In fact, he got mad at my son for interfering!"

I received this reaction from our neighborhood elist:

"ok, I hate to sound dumb, but...

I don't get the picture, Kim. Is it making fun of the lifeguard for saving the kid? I am trying to figure out what you are trying to say here. Please enlighten us."

The Buddhist priest said that karma is relentless, meaning (to me) that good comes from good and bad from bad, always.

(Note: I was scolded for using the words "good" and "bad: Here is a quote from the Buddha that uses pain and happiness instead: "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him."

And another quote that speaks to the relentless nature of karma:
"All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.")

I was struck with the ambiguity of the situation. A father with the greatest of intentions, trying to teach in the best way he could, and a lifeguard conscientiously doing his job. I felt some compassion for both (as well as for the kid).

And stepping back, I saw some humor in the situation—both the lifeguard and the father were invested in "saving all beings" and yet were in conflict with one another. William Saroyan would have described this as "the human comedy."

Organ Transplant Service

I've been thinking of getting a full organ transplant ((not the same as the (mislabeled) full organ transplants that are current done)), whereby I'd become a totally different person, perhaps assembled from all the attributes that I envy — more hair on my head, a larger (and more able) brain, the ability to draw like my wife and son can, etc. I'm sure it would never be enough... but instead of a new heart or kidney, why not a new (and faster, better looking, etc.) car (so to speak)?

Organ Transplants

Peace!

Nothing ever happens. Life
is a drag.

Peace!

Birthday Perspective

Close up, his face was a
menacing terrain. From a
great distance, it was
as smooth as a new
car.

1000 Feet Koan

He clutched the tree
branch with his teeth.
If he opened his mouth
he'd fall 1000 feet. If
he didn't open it he'd
fail the exam.

She Returned

2 Day

1000 Miles Apart

We are 1000 miles
apart for one more
day.

Totem and Four Figures

I am everywhere...

but here or me

More Color--More Inside Outside

Within and Without

SW Air Critiques Kim's Drawing

I love SW Air. The st-
ewardess loved my
drawing and asked if
my not yet 3 grand-
son had done it.

Looking On

Disenfranchised Youth Lives Here

It's ok. I can read.

Continental Divide

I wondered if he wo-
uld miss me, not r-
ealizing how much I
would miss him.

Stuck or 2 Close?

Another iphone drawing above. Generally I work on a Palm Pilot. I'm thinking of getting an iphone next month so I can combine photos and drawing, etc.

Car Wash

We took lit' J. to Lowes
and we met the mon-
ster in the car
wash.

Caught by a security camera.

Zen Lesson #4213A

The priest was concerned
that his drainpipe was le-
aking. Others tried hard to
associate the dharma with
their lives.

A Treat

We took him
a treat when
we picked him
up @ school.

Bad Books

I chased my grand-
son to the library.
When he got there
he played on
the compu-
ter and then
complained
that
his
dad
got
bad
books.

Intimacy

The Buddhist priest described how he saw Zen as intimacy, being close to all as the body is to the robe. He said that intimacy is listening and not judging... and not fixing.

A few minutes later I was racing to the airport in an avalanche of rain to see my new grandson in Philadelphia. I asked my daughter (Dr. Educator) how I should approach his older brother (almost 3). She said just watch what he does and do what he does. If he's playing with stamps don't teach him to spell his name.

Just be there, DAD!

Misunderstanding

Woke up at 5 am believing that two sequential ringing cell phone calls were my alarm clock. One would have been enough. But two indicated the state I was in. The phone calls would have told us that our son and daughter-in-law were on their way to the hospital to drop off (3 pushes) their new baby (just named Dashiell Grey Zwerling Mosley). Rushing out the door to the Zen center, I told my wife I'd be home at 9. A few blocks from home I realized that I'd be there longer than that, so I called and left her a message to call me if she wanted to leave that day.

It turned out that our kids wanted us right away, so my wife arranged for us to leave that morning, expecting me home at 9... and not listening to her phone messages. When I called her at 11, she was angry, even when I told her what the priest had said in his dharma talk about Norman Fisher who spoke about not judging because you can't ever know the whole story. I went home, made reservations for a 1:15 plane flight, and we arrived in Philadelphia via Houston and Nashville that evening.

I'm ready call me
Where is he?

A Doll, not a Baby

Waiting to board the plane, I watched a mother with her two daughters. One of the daughters was swinging her doll by the leg. I said to my wife, "why is she swinging her baby by the leg." My wife said, "it is not a baby, it is a doll." I remembered an hour earlier how the priest said that we won't treat things with respect when we see them as separate from ourselves. Later, on the plane, I asked my wife if our daughter swung her doll by its leg. "No," she said, "it was her baby."

Why did she
deserve
2
be
treat-
ed
like
this

Help me

Yikes

Mu From the Dog's Mouth

Q: Does a dog have Buddha nature?
A: Mu

I asked my son whether he had a name for his new son, born today (5/16/09, 6:45 am). "No," he said. "How about the Japanese name for 'no,' 'mu,'? I asked. "No," he said.

The Mu koan is as follows: A monk asked Zhaozhou, a Chinese Zen master (known as Jōshū in Japanese): "Has a dog Buddha-nature or not?", Zhaozhou answered: "Wú" (in Japanese, Mu).

For less explanation see: http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/2000/07/Does-A-Dog-Have-Buddha-Nature.aspx

'tween him thumbs...

He held a piece
of paper 'tween
his thumbs gently.

Discovering Emptiness in a Spinning Top

When I looked at th-
e spinning top the w-
ords became concent-
ric circles.

The Wednesday night reading group has been reading Nagarjuna's "The Fundamental Wisdom of the Middle Way" for a while now. We are just getting into the best part. And it is no more difficult than figuring out a child's top that you spin with your forefinger and thumb. Here's why:

Last night we talked about how emptiness is not the same as believing in nothing (nihilism). And that emptiness means "no abiding self," or in the case of a child's top (which wasn't mentioned), no essence.

Barbara was quick to say that hearing these ideas and practicing with them are very different. So today I went to the Blanton Art Museum and the Ramsen center to practice (shirking my volunteer duties to AZC).

First I ate in the Blanton's new cafeteria. I don't like to see art with my stomach growling. Then to the museum store where I found a child's top. It had words printed on a flat round disk. I spun it and voila, the words turned into concentric circles. That proved it, I though. In one spin I saw how foolish both Nagarjuna and Barbara were. It was obvious that the essence was the top standing still (with words), and when moving, is just appeared different (with concentric circles). I was satisfied that my mission was accomplished, and left the store (I though it was too expensive to buy the top that had disproved emptiness at $3.26).

Walking out to the street, I started thinking about a hypothetical top that is attached to an electric motor. The normal state (essence) of that top would be the concentric circles, and seeing the words would be just an abnormal view of the top. But suppose that one day the motor dies and the top comes to a stop. Then has its essence changed (a contradiction for if essence changes then it is not essence)? Then my mind went to the earth, which spins and rotates as if there was no tomorrow. What is the essence of that (a spherical object in motion?). I started to doubt the validity of my "there is an essence" argument.

A minute later, as I went outside, I saw an old truck with scratches, dents and faded paint. So what was this truck's essence, it if had one? Was it the way it was yesterday, the way it is now, or the way it will be tomorrow? Suddenly essence disappeared and Nagarjuna (and Barbara) made more sense.

Nagarjuna wrote,

For him to whom emptiness is clear,
Everything becomes clear.
For him to whom emptiness is not clear,
Nothing becomes clear.

Please come and help us sort out the thinking of this 2nd century Buddhist saint. Find out why he is thought of by some to be the next (2nd or 8th?) Buddha.