UPenn Animation Class

Josh and Jasper Animating

Jasper and Dash

Parents as Benevolent Dictators

Benevolent dictators like to think that they are a gift of god. They have one interest, and that is to give people what they want and/or need. I guess it must really be "want" because otherwise they wouldn't be seen so "benevolent."

I heard about a parent today who gave and gave and gave. He held the purse strings, barely gave to himself, but gave generously to his children and even his ex-wife.

I remembered how when our kids were in high school (college?) we gave them a credit card and told them that this was the family money and they had to spend wisely. We were fully open with them about our finances and they were responsible to see that the family didn't overspend.

At lunch today we were talking about this and I said that the benevolent dictator gives everything but what is most valuable. One of us said "freedom." My wife said "autonomy."

Then I started thinking about the Buddhist story of the squashes who fought with each other so the monk had them meditate (a little far fetched?)... and then he told them to touch the top of their head to see where their spine starts. They did and realized they were all connected to each other.

I'm not sure how autonomy and being connected work together. Some one will have to help me with that one. Maybe it is in the meaning of the Buddhist saying "not one, not two."

In any case, if you are a parent (and we all are in some walk of our lives), try to see whether you can shift your family operation to become a democracy. Disclose your assets and let the family decide how the resources might be expended (and/or saved). Not only will this help your kids grow up, but they will have something to show their friends much cooler than the latest iphone.

Tomorrow might be Doomsday

Our head teacher at the Buddhist temple made a scroll for our weekend sit. It said, "everything changes, everything is connected, pay attention, and beginner's mind."

One of the priests is taking a math course and is wondering how he'll ever use what he is learning.

R has a recurring visit of breast cancer and she is angry at it.

I see the doctor tomorrow about the supposed cyst or whatever in my chest.

People open their hearts and the anger dissolves in its tracks.

My sister and I were wondering how all these coincidental occurrences happen to put us on this planet. I lied and told her I didn't believe in god when she asked. I would have lied if I told her I did. With as much mystery as there is, how can one know (anything)?

I thought again yesterday about the young magician in the park who said, "is this your card" only to discover that it was not.

I'm not sure who titled this post. I don't remember writing that... though I must have... just a few minutes ago.

Time to eat fruit. Fruits and vegetables are delicious.

Lots of passion about Walmart.

My arms are sore from swimming today... first time in a couple of years. It was wet.

Still More on Walmart

Monica:

I would highly recommend watching the PBS Frontline documentary. Yes, it is true Walmart can guarantee the lowest prices, but at what greater cost to our nation's economy? I think Becky's point about Walmart creating a fictitious perceived need for mass quantities of cheap, shoddy merchandise is quite valid. We need fewer things. We need to take better care of what we have, so things last longer. So there is less frequent a need to buy more. I think that if we merely accept this economic mono culture as an inevitability we surrender our greater good to a big business monopoly. I belong to the local historic preservation commission. Recently I attended a statewide preservation conference. The theme was "Old is the new Green". I think this is a valid philosophy, whether one protests the wasteful destruction of still viable buildings or one purchases household goods from a resale shop. There are so many ways in which we can reduce our footprint, and happily these measures are less costly in both the short term and the long term. We need not think that Walmart possesses some kind of gravitational pull that is irresistible.

Sent from my iPhone

Kim:

May I put your wonderful green statement on my blog.

I don't disagree with anything you are saying. I hope that education will help people be more sensitive to the effect of their behavior on the planet.

In the meantime, what are we going to do with all the activities that we see as destructive?

Monica:

Kim, yes you can post my response. I don't have any solutions at the ready; if I did I'd run for office. Seriously though, the solutions are achieved through many small steps.

Walmart reply.

Becky:

Do you seriously mean this? Do you know how many farmers they have f.....d?  Towns they have ruined? You admire what they have achieved?! Kim!  Are you just saying this to get a rise out of people? Watch the Frontline episode on Walmart and let me know if you feel the same. If you look closely at the people who's quality of life you think has improved, look again.

Kim:

Hi Becky,

Yes, I'm serious.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/walmart/view/

suggests that Walmart is responsible for jobs moving to China. If there wasn't Walmart, it would have been KMart or Target buying more goods from China and having a bigger market share.

Remember that US dollars going to China do have to come back to us. It might not be RCAs USA TVs, but RCA was doomed anyway as their products became too expensive to produce.

Unfortunately, people suffer when change occurs. But things do change, and Walmart takes advantage and initiates those changes. We had a Walmart behind FV... I'm not sure if it was there when you were. The clientele there didn't seem to mind the cheap and varied goods.

May I put your comment on my blog?

Becky:

Yes, you may.  You can edit the "f......d" if you like for politeness sake.

That Walmart was there when I was there and I shopped at it then. It is since one of the battles I have chosen amongst the many I have to choose from. Maybe because it is relatively easy for me to choose to not shop there. One of the things that bothers me most about them is that they have left most people no choice. They are super wealthy and can do anything they want. Also, the cheap and varied goods are crap and give people the idea that they need more than they do and can have more than they need because it's cheap. More shit in the landfill. I have fallen victim to the craving for more cheap crap, but now get my fix with other people's discards at the thrift store. Much more satisfying, but I still have too much crap. And yes, a small Indonesian child likely made what I have bought second hand, but I somehow feel slightly better about it in that I'm not buying a new thing so another new thing can replace it on the shelf.

Kim:

I like the idea that each has cost and benefits. Maybe the reason we can't agree is that one of us is looking at the costs and one is looking at the benefits. Neither of us is right. 

It looks like you have found another choice to shopping at Walmart in the thrift store (where my wife shops too). I share your feeling that we consume too much, that the quality is not great at Walmart, and that the little shop where they know your name is warm and fuzzy. But Walmart is not evil. It is just an evolutionary point in the history of merchandizing. They fulfill a need (or perceived need) for many. It is great that you are trying to persuade people that they have more choices. Once KMart and Sears were really hot. Now it is Walmart and Costco (where I go). What is next? Maybe a return to yesterday? Or maybe Amazon (where I shop a lot too.)

Why I like Walmart...

Lots of intellectuals think Walmart is evil, in that it invades towns, eradicates small business, and pays its workers paltry sums. On the other hand, it is one of the biggest employers in the US and it provides for many people goods that they would not be able to afford elsewhere. Small businesses are neat until you are looking for odd items or cheap prices. Do I enjoy shopping at Walmart? No. But I admire what they have achieved and how, for many, they have improved their quality of life.

Cysts?

Last Thursday my pilates teacher, S, noticed that one of my breasts was bigger than the other... so then she started feeling around and felt two little bumps... so she told me to get a sonogram. I called my doctor's office (Dr. P) who said that I would need to see the doctor first, but she was busy until today, and that was a week ago, and that I could see the physician's assistant instead on Monday. I don't remember the assistant's name, but let's call her "A." (When I told my son the story he said it was a little confusing without any names.) So A felt the bumps too and sent me to have the sonogram. The sonographer woman, B, who was very cute, put this warm thick clear jelly on me and then rubbed this geiger counter over me and said that she didn't see anything but she'd show the image to the doctor "C." She left for about 15 minutes and then came back and said that C didn't see anything.

Later Monday A called me and told me that all they saw were cysts and that I would hear from Dr. P soon about what I should do next. My sister S who is different from my pilates teacher S because she lives in Los Angeles wrote me and asked me about the doctor's report. So I called Dr. P's office and the nurse for A said that I was on her list to call, and that the doctor (P) thought it was probably nothing, and that the sonogram showed nothing, but that my Dr. P wanted to see me to be sure. So I have an appointment on next Wednesday. In the meantime, my pilates teacher, S, who is (still) not my sister, texted her breast surgeon "T" who then called me later today and said he had looked at my sonogram and he didn't see anything and I shouldn't worry. (I asked T how he saw it since I didn't give him permission to look at it and he said because it was at ARA, which is where I had it done... Austin is a small town, I guess.) Anyway, I told T that I was going to see my Dr. P. on Wed. since he was going vacation. We agreed that if she suspected something she would order a bilateral mammogram that he would look at after his vacation. I don't know where T was going on his vacation... nor does it matter.

I suspect this should all make me very worried, but it doesn't at all because I watched a really old movie the other day and I said to my wife that I bet all these young vivacious people in the movie are now dead and she agreed... Or maybe I'm not very worried because I just am not very worried... but I think maybe I need a time chart, or a spreadsheet, or some other way of organizing all this information. Or maybe this could be a new college aptitude test, with a list of questions at the end. And I suspect this is just the beginning of a saga that might do more damage to my brain than the rest of me just to keep the players straight.

So who went to St. Ives?

Sloppy Attempt #1,000,000

Teacher said in the 2nd grade that my painting was sloppy. Since then I've been trying to be sloppy. Here's attempt 1,000,000.

Gasping for Life

Meditation for Kids... or Why I Sit?

Thursday I'm teaching meditation to a group of kids in a summer camp. I'm told that they are middle school kids, around 12-13 years old. So I wondered what I'd say to them about meditation, and why someone might want to sit and face the wall as we do in the zendo.

Forty years ago I taught art to 6th graders. They were a pretty intimidating lot, being little adults, with attitudes about art that were impenetrable. I went back after that to focusing on younger kids (though I taught college kids at the same time who were always ready for adventure).

In elementary school they would send me to the cloak room when I wasn't behaving. That seemed to be often, and my record was twice in one day. Now I go to the cloak room (zendo) almost every day to sit and face the wall. What might have been construed as punishment has become somewhat of a necessity like eating, drinking, sleeping, or all the other sundry things we do to stay alive.

I eat because I'm hungry, though I'm realizing more and more that often I eat and I'm not hungry. I drink because I'm thirsty, though sometimes when I'm thirsty I don't drink, and sometimes when I'm not thirsty I drink because that's what you do in certain places (a coffee house, for example). I sleep when I'm tired, though, sometimes it is because my wife says it is time to go to bed. The water is muddy, at best.

Why do I sit? Up to seven seconds before we make conscious (rational?) decisions we make unconscious decisions. Am I sitting because my unconscious is telling me to slow down and/or wake up?

We hear about cars going from 0-60 mph in a few seconds. Earlier today I was thinking about kids and how fast they are still going at "0." Kids... no, all of us! We sit down on the couch, and have the TV on, a conversation ensuing, a bag of potato chips being consumed, and multitudinous thoughts racing through our heads. That is what we call "laying back," "zoning out," "vegetating." Maybe in reality we are going faster than ever. Maybe at 60 mph we are going slower that we are at 0 because we are trying to focus on the situation at hand in order to stay alive.

So what happens if we really slow down and simply focus on our breath? Is this "ground 0?" Is this an opportunity, in stillness, to start to notice that we may not really be hungry, tired, or thirsty? Is this an opportunity, in stillness, to notice that we may not be doing the best for ourselves or others?

Suzuki Roshi said that what is most important is to discover what is most important. I suspect that he knew what this was (to know who he was). It is a life journey. I suspect that it may be facilitated by a little "quiet wakefulness."

That is why I sit.

We are PCs...

We are PCs But very funny ones @ that.

Pair #1

Every #1

Non-dog Walking

Casio Surgery Today

The Wrath of God

Tomorrow might be Doomsday

You Don't Care

You probably don't care about my CASIO FR-105S Printing Calculator that was the victim of my carelessness the other day. Now the nine is dead, along with some other problems too sad to mention. Usually I drink from a glass, but in order to be safe, I had a water bottle with a cap. But I lost the cap, and then yanked a cord that did the deed.

A sad result from that deed (indeed).

I wonder if we are much different than calculators. I understand that our brain power is not much more than the average computer. We have a broader array of skills, perhaps. My neighbor insists that he can calculate better than a calculator. I wonder how he'll feel when I text him numbers to add together.

I'm wondering if I should wait a few days to see if the 9 repairs herself, or if I should microwave the thing with a bowl of dry rice to see if that might fix it.

And then, should I bury it? Or I could cremate it, though fires aren't allowed right now in Austin.

End Conflict Now!

I decided to end suffering today. I thought I'd start out with about 24 people in a class I was teaching at the zen center. So I asked them if they had any conflict in their lives. They all said yes. Then I told them to close their eyes and to look at the conflict without blame, guilt, or judgment. I was convinced that no conflict could exist without the fuel from at least one of these.

When they were through looking at their conflict I asked how many had gotten rid of their conflict. No one raised their hands.

It reminded me of a magic show in the park on July 4th. The young magician said, "is this your card?" and the volunteer from the audience said, "no."

So then we did a 15 minute mediation. I started thinking about the usefulness of conflicts, how conflicts keep us from getting close, and how fear ties us to our conflicts. It became clear that without conflicts we'd have intimacy... and we all know that we don't want that.

Next I went to a dharma talk about the Eight Fold Path, which starts with suffering and ends with a means to cease suffering. What was not talked about was our need to suffer. Without suffering we'd be facing ourselves and others without any clothes. Stark naked.

I've also been thinking about the koan about stepping off a hundred foot pole. Maybe to give up conflicts and suffering is that stepping off. How economical it is to live a protected existence on top of that pole!

The Adding Machine Saga

Chemistry

I watched a young couple at my usual taco breakfast place this am. They were lovely with their youth and love for each other. To what extent were they being led by their chemistry, and to what extent by their heart and mind I do not know. The urge to have children is universal. I could see urges bubbling out from their skin. Those who avoid having children, or even intimate relationships, seem to adopt others to care for in one way or another.

Wordsworth wrote, "the child is father of the man." Gerald Manley Hopkins wrote (I assume in response),

‘THE CHILD is father to the man.’
How can he be? The words are wild.
Suck any sense from that who can:
‘The child is father to the man.’
No; what the poet did write ran,
‘The man is father to the child.’
‘The child is father to the man!’
How can he be? The words are wild.

As babies are being born, others are finding the end to their lives. Another mystery. Reminds me that one thing just leads to another.

Is the larger figure in the drawing a man, someone closer than the mother and child, god, or ???. I don't know.

1st drawing for awhile

I quit writing because I was stuck. I realized I didn't know anything... and I couldn't figure out what is important. So I decided to shut up for awhile. But now, I want to draw again because I don't feel alive when I'm not.

Tax the Money Changers

Right now I'm in the Renaissance Marriott in St Louis. I'm looking out the window from the 6th floor at cars and roads and businesses that were all made possible because of what you call greed. People wanted to make money and figured out that serving others was a good scam. And in the process lots of jobs are created. We got the room through Priceline for $43 a night. It appears that lots of other folks did also because they are in the lobby apparently having a large family gathering. The same people who are extravagant are going to hear D sing, buying art, giving money to museums, etc. They support small businesses and also support people who support small businesses. In our judgment they don't always make wise choices. But the poor don't either. Hopefully education can help people make better choices. I used to tell students that they don't have to own a yacht if they can enjoy a shadow or the shape of a tar drip on the street.

See Milton Friedman talk to Phil Donohue about greed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWsx1X8PV_A&feature=youtube_gdata_player


Kim Mosley
http://kimmosley.com/blog

On Jun 18, 2011, at 9:36 AM, S wrote:

gLAD TO HAVE THIS spin. I read it again with this in mind.  But don't you think that the quick bucks that the wall street traders/banks etc. getting is unfair to the little guys who don't have enough for rent/food/college. All the rich guys buy with their "play" money is the 3rd home or the 4th lexus. they don't help small businesses. Does not the economy need to become one of "service" rather than profit and greed? What am I missing. am sending your response to D too. xx S
PS We deserve a Lexus.


At 11:16 PM 6/17/2011, you wrote:
Terrible idea. Short term trading is already taxed at a higher rate as earned income rather than as long term capital gains. Adding a greater cost to one business over another is discriminatory. Next it will be artists, then who knows whom. The argument that it would make a lot of money is not a good argument nor is it necessarily correct...because if you make a business less profitable less people will engage in it. And besides, owning stocks, whether short or long term, supports the economy. Businesses need capital to operate.


Kim Mosley
http://kimmosley.com/blog

Begin forwarded message:

From: S
Date: June 17, 2011 8:11:36 PM CDT

Subject: not bad at all

 
Published on The Nation (http://www.thenation.com)



Cut Wall Street Down to Size With a Financial Speculation Tax



Sarah Anderson | June 8, 2011

If you want to transform the economy, you have to cut Wall Street down to its proper size. One way to do that is to tax the short-term speculative activities that dominate and distort financial markets.

For ordinary investors, the costs would be negligible, like a tiny insurance fee to protect against crashes caused by speculation. But for the highfliers who are most responsible for the financial crisis, the tax could raise the cost of highly leveraged derivatives trading and stock-flipping enough to discourage the most dangerous behavior.

Remember the "flash crash" of May 6, 2010, when the Dow plummeted nearly 1,000 points? If a tax of only 0.25 percent on each transaction had been in place for just the twenty most frenzied minutes of that day, traders would've faced $142 million in fees.

And remember AIG's credit default swaps? A financial speculation tax might not have stopped those greed-crazed fools, but at least Uncle Sam would've taken in about $1.1 billion on the deals.

The Center for Economic and Policy Research predicts that a tax on trades of stocks, derivatives and other financial instruments would curb excessive speculation while generating around $150 billion a year. That would be enough, for example, to fill projected Social Security shortfalls, with dough left over for other domestic and international needs.

So US politicians must be jumping on this as a solution to the country's deficit problems, right? Not exactly. For more than a year, a diverse array of labor, consumer, environmental, global health and other progressive organizations have been hammering away on them, as part of a broader international campaign. But while legislators have introduced eleven bills to create various forms of speculation taxes, none have gained serious momentum.

In 2009, according to a WikiLeaks cable, former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown tried the diplomatic equivalent of a rugby maul to get Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner on board with a G-20 agreement on financial speculation taxes. Such international coordination, while not necessary, would help address concerns about potential tax avoidance.

But Brown, too, wound up empty-handed. Geithner's explanation: âœI have not seen the version of that that I think works.❠Perhaps he's been too busy bailing out Wall Street to research the issue. Around the world more than a dozen countries already collect some form of tax on financial transactions. A British levy on stock trades alone raises between $5 billion and $6 billion per year.

If more countries begin raising massive revenues from speculation taxes, US politicians may see the light. And the prospects for progress elsewhere are strong. In March the European Parliament called for an EU-wide transactions tax, based on a report that projected nearly 200 billion euros a year from a tax of 0.010.05 percent on each trade.

French President Nicolas Sarkozy has announced plans to launch a "coalition of pioneers" with German Chancellor Angela Merkel and others at the November G-20 leaders meeting. This would be a prime opportunity for President Obama to stand alongside them and vow to do what's right for the country's short-term fiscal crisis and the world's long-term health and stability. Let's hope he doesn't view this moment instead as a good time for a restroom break.

Read the next proposal in the âœReimagining Capitalism [1] series, The Government Nudge: A Public Role in the Private Sector [2], by Robert Weissman.
Source URL: http://www.thenation.com/article/161257/cut-wall-street-down-size-financial-speculation-tax

Saki Sin

I sinned the day before yesterday. So when my wife came home I asked her if I could confess. She was busy so said that she wasn't a confessional.

Yesterday I was thinking how nice to have a wife who isn't interested in my sins. I couldn't remember the previous day's sin anyway, so I was feeling quite good.

Then I was cooking a turkey breast and I read that white wine is good for that, so I added what was left in the bottle.

Problem was, after I poured it on the poor bird, I realized that it was some saki that was given to her, in a wine bottle, and not some wine that my daughter and her husband had left at our house. Oh, I'm in trouble, I thought.

My wife came home late that day. I told her I was so glad to have a wife that wasn't a confessional, and that I sinned again, but was glad that I didn't have to confess.

She said what she meant was that she wouldn't absolve me of my sins. So I thought that was fair, and told her I had done a terrible thing, mistaking the saki for wine.

She said she thought that was a good use for the saki.

I was absolved.

What Matters? A conversation with Ed.

(l-r) Cousin Mark and Uncle Ed

I asked my uncle about truth last weekend. He asked for an example. I said, "are we awake or dreaming?" He said it didn't matter because we wouldn't know that we are dreaming. Then we talked about Intelligent Design's position that God created everything 7000 years ago, including predated fossils and light rays coming from the stars. He said that doesn't matter. We would still behave in the same way. I asked a friend. He said that if the world was only 7000 years old he would devote his life to proselytize that.

Then I thought about the Buddha who was asked if there was an afterlife. He said that there was too much to do (in the effort to save all sentient beings from suffering) to dwell on that. Was he saying the same thing as Uncle Ed?

Later I remembered that Bertrand Russell wrote in his autobiography that he used to worry about all kinds of things, but then one day realized that no matter what happened, in the immense universe it really wouldn't make much difference. Likewise, we all are invaluable where we work—until we get sick or are fired, or retire. Then our place of employment gets along fine without us.

When Ed mentioned that it didn't matter to him that we may be dreaming... or that the universe may be 7000 years old, it didn't feel good. I was feeling that I may be duped by falsity (like we aren't dreaming), and not know it. It would be a grand delusion in the Buddhist scheme of things.

Always to add to my confusion, I had "dokusan" with my zen teacher the other night. I asked him about "what matters" and he said (over about 35 minutes), "everything and nothing."

That certainly is not a barometer for deciding where I should be putting my energy. Later I thought about the absolute and the relative, the two worlds of zen (that are one, they say). In any case, in the absolute nothing matters because nothing exists, and in the relative world everything matters because everything exists.

In the meantime, having no barometer to live my life, I started thinking about Reb Anderson, another zen teacher, who said that you should walk on the Earth as if it is your mother's face. If something as mundane as walking on the earth (as a metaphor for everything we do) matters, then, at least in the relative world, everything matters.

Back to "dokusan" I did learn one thing that was important to me. I have delusions like we all do. We believe that things are as they appear, when in reality that appearance is a construct of our mind. We can't help that. What I can do is to not beat myself up for having those delusions. Rather, I can just say, I have delusions, and I can work to know and accept them.

As to how to decide where to put my eggs,* I guess I'll have to keep working on that.

Thanks, Ed.

*—as in, "don't put all your eggs in one basket."

Bats in Austin

Grandparents Toast to Melissa & Eric

We regret very much that we are unable to physically attend this joyous event of joining your lives in matrimony. Melissa, we know that your grandparents Pauline and Edmond Mosley would have been equally as enthusiastic as we are about this wedding. Rest assured that in our mind we are raising our glasses with the others here in a salute to your union.

Melissa: We are so thankful that Kim, Linda and you have given us the privilege of sharing your life from the very beginning. There have been many memorable occasions for us as we have watched your progress. We were entrusted with you at a very early age with visits for a week. On one visit, at bedtime, you told your grandfather to be sure and wake you in the morning before he left for work. The next morning we walked quietly to your room. You were soundly asleep. Your grandfather kissed you softly on the forehead, and left for work without waking you, knowing that when he returned home he was in for a full dressing down for not keeping his word. Other events included taking you to tennis lessons, tennis tournaments in Memphis and other cities. We attended a piano recital and of course numerous graduation ceremonies. The acme of all our memories is this wedding.

Eric: We were glad that you were so thoughtful to visit us with Melissa several months ago. We surmised that you and Melissa were having a serious relationship. We are pleased to welcome you into our family. You would have loved Pauline and Edmond. You would have enjoyed participating in their family conversation. I doubt that you could have evaded answering Edmond's challenging questions.

Laura and George Wetzel: We thank you for sharing your son with us. We hope our paths will somehow cross so that we will meet in person.

Melissa and Eric: May the spirit withh you be your moral compass in guiding your living for the rest of your lives. We love you very much,

Grandmother Dorothy (Dodie) and Grandfather Delmar (Del)
May 7, 2011

Wedding Toast

Here's the wedding toast I gave at the rehearsal dinner of my daughter's wedding on 5/6/11.

My wife was quite worried about me giving a toast. Having a father-in-law who went on and on about some cryptic story on such occasions, she was afraid that I'd take too long, and say the wrong things.

Finally the worry got the best of her, and she decided that we'd do the toast together. I, trying to be a good sport (which is the only way to be as the bride's father), said "sure, let's do it." And further, so that I could give her every opportunity to do it as she saw fit, I said, "what do you suggest?"

"Let's start when she was born." At which point tears started streaming down her face. One tear led to another, and soon tears started coming down my face too. Soon I put on my rational cap and said, "maybe if we analyze why we can't do this we'll be able to do it. She responded, "It is just that I love them both so much." With that, the idea of us doing the toast together ended. So now let's toast to Melissa and Eric from Linda and me.

I'd like to say a few things about Melissa and Eric. What I like best about Melissa is what a nice person she is. Not long ago I brought a friend to see Melissa in her office. He remarked, "wow, she's not only a professor, but such a nice kid!" While the rest of her family had few social graces, she was always in the back seat of the car reading and rereading all the Sweet Valley High books.

What I like best about Eric is that he's not attached to his preferences. That's a Buddhist statement which confused me when I first heart it. I thought at first that it means to not have preferences, but no, it just means that you need to be ready to change your preferences when life changes (as it does moment by moment). So if you go into a store to buy a red tie, and they don't have any red ties, then you simply look at what is available and get another tie. Or perhaps go to another store. But you don't go postal. That accomplishes very little.

In 1999 my mother had a memorial service for herself. About six of the people who came are no longer with us. The last person who passed away was my cousin Larry. He was quite dismayed that I liked Buddhism better than Judaism (yes, a preference). So I decided, in memory of Larry, to start reading the Talmud.

First I read "think with your heart." I had no problem with that. In fact, I had asked my almost 5 year old grandson to let us know what that meant, but he said he wouldn't be my assistant on stage. He did put his hand on his heart, a gesture I'll never forget.

Just when I thought I had the secret of living the good life, I read a seemingly contradictory aphorism: control your passions. How can I do that, I thought, if I'm going to think with my heart? Ok, I thought, I'll think with my heart, but not really follow what it tells me. Is that what the Talmud is saying?

Very confused, I searched in the Talmud for the answer... and found it. It says not to pass up any opportunity to enjoy life. Rather than a black and white prescription for living, I was reminded that living the good life is a complex juggling act that takes constant vigilance.

It appears one of my sisters is telling me to cut this short. Oh, no, she's telling me to keep going.

In any case I'm almost done...

The other day I walked past the living room and started watching an old movie on TV. A young kid had kissed this beautiful woman while she was sleeping, and then the woman ran off. An older man finally declared his love for the woman. Everyone thought that he had been the one to kiss her. He said, "now I've lost the woman I love for something I didn't do." The young man said, "We have a question of love and truth here. When the two are together, it is very strong."

Like in the movie, Eric and Melissa have both—love and truth. Much much more than what John Lennon and Paul McCarthy coined as "all you need is love," which will be played as we dance at the wedding...

Here's a toast from me for Eric and Melissa.