I'm in death row at the dentist's office totally not accepting the idea of wel- coming, pain as a caring friend, instead drugged with valium so I can just sleep. Am I chicken or wise? We shall see.
Today I got hearing aids and was chased by a lea- f rustling down the bla- ck driveway. And today dear ones left the earth. I'm not sure if my ears waking & others leaving ear- th is connected. We'll see.
A long day. First I heard a dharma talk on silence. I decided not to ever fill up the page in my draw- ings. Then he told how his dog grabbed his hand through his mail slot, so I said that would be my drawing except then we were talking hummers & I said they kick ass & he said that should be my drawing and now with so many great art ideas floating in my th ick skull I feel absolut- ely impotent tonight as a potentially practing artist.
It is much too late to make art. I just came from a meeting where peo- ple talked about people & now I look over at the three monkeys & hope that we followed their e- dict.
very The ^ old woman said, "oh, no automatic door." I wondered if this was an enlightened view of her exit from earth.
(Note: The woman in the doctor's office complained to her daughter that the door wasn't automatic. It first struck me funny how we judge the world based on our own needs. Then I saw how close she was to leaving earth, and how much pain she was it. Old age for some is a difficult journey.)
This is one of those days. Everything is going wrong & taking more tim- e to fix.* I wonder w- hat it would be like to have a job and no time to pay attention to all that is goofy.