A tten shon. Confessions of a “first-class slob.”

Click on collage to enlarge.

A young Zen student was given the job of arranging flowers for the various altars in the temple. He was a very serious sort of young man and was concerned about doing a proper job. There may also have been a bit of vanity involved. “Flowers no higher than the statue’s eye. Check. Odd number of flowers in the vase. Check. No thorns or spiky flowers. Check. No all-white arrangements except for funerals. Check.” As he was working, an older monk came into the room, watched for a moment and asked, “Do you want to know how to make a perfect arrangement for the altar?” “Oh, yes!” said the youngster. “Well,” said the monk, “You take a bunch of flowers, put them in a vase, step back and say ‘That’s perfect!’”

I’m acutely aware these days how poor my attention has been. Yesterday I spend 15 minutes looking for a glass of juice that I had finished earlier and even washed the glass. When I saw the glass in the dish rack I finally figured it out.

Saturday I helped someone set up for tea ceremony. I asked, after altering the wiring on the heater, if it was all working. The tea teacher saw a light on the heat controller and said “yes.” I should have checked the heater itself, which wasn’t heating.

I bought some wiper blades yesterday. There was a twenty dollar rebate. But I threw the package away at the store and didn’t have the UPC code. And now I see that the rebate ended two days ago, a day before I bought the blades.

Last week I contributed to an IRA, but did so from an account that didn’t have enough money in it to cover the purchase. In the meantime, the mutual fund went up and I lost $150 or so.

I could go on and on. Luckily none of these errors was life threatening. They cost time and money, and in the case of the tea ceremony, the error resulted in lukewarm tea. My wife, in the spirit of a true geisha, was very polite when she said that the tea was perfect.

In Zen, Dogen tells us that when we are cooking we should be directing our attention to our cooking. We use the expression, “where were you?” when someone is one place physically and another place mentally. What a gift it is to be “with” another person, and not just sharing with them a physical space.

My mom used to say that I was a “first-class slob.” I always liked the “first-class” part. I thought that softened the blow a little. My neighbor thinks I’m OCD because when we go to our favorite Mexican dive for breakfast I organize the menus on the counter so they are all going the same way, and rearrange the multi-colored chairs sometimes so they look better. So is OCD and SLOB related (a question for my dear deceased psychotherapist aunt who would give me definitive answers (unlike my psychoanalyst sister who says, “ask your aunt”))?

So back to the zen student arranging the flowers. What a difficult job! We want the flowers to look like they just grew that way, and were not arranged. Yet the harder we try to imitate nature, the more unnatural it looks. Is greater attention the answer? Probably, but it has to be wholehearted attention, not just “concentration.” That is another topic for another post.

P.S. I wanted to report that now that I’ve discovered how inattentive I am I would turn over a new leaf. So I went to get some groceries. When it came time for checkout, I remembered that, as usual, I had forgotten the reusable bags I have in my car. Then, when I got back to my car, I remembered that I had forgotten to take into the grocery the bag of recyclable bags that I’d been carrying around.

P.S.S. Just heard a wonderful keynote for SXSW by Bruce Springsteen. At the end he said, “Don’t take life too seriously ... and take life as seriously as death.”

P.S.S.S. I’ve been reading about Shanavasa, the third patriarch of Buddhism. His enlightenment came when his teacher (Ananda) tugged on his robe. He was asking Ananda, “What kind of thing is the original unborn nature of all things [who were you before you were born]?” Imagine how that simple tug must have moved his attention from his mind to the present moment. A tten shon.

Taiwan/US cultural exchange exhibit

A couple of my art pieces were in a traveling exhibit in Taiwan and the US. After the fact, they are now doing an illustrated catalog of the exhibit. I wanted to share what I'm submitting for the catalog:

I've been making my staple collages for about 15 years now. I'm struck with the beauty in what we throw away. I used the same stapler in the 1950s in my father's store to recycle hosiery boxes into Christmas handkerchief boxes. Sue Eisler gave me permission to use the stapler for art making. She staples with a beautiful and vigorous reckless abandon, while mine is a more controlled and functional means of attaching one layer to another. 

In these particular collages I incorporated a brochure that Sheow Hwey gave me of the beautiful Taiwanese dancers who, though physically handicapped, showed us all that our only path is to work with what we have.

Do Dogs Have Buddha Nature?

Click on collage to enlarge!

I asked that question to my teacher one day. That was certainly beginner's mind. I can't remember what he said, but he was kind not to tell me that it wasn't an original question. He did (and still does) gives me a guilt trip whenever I try to understand life with my too discursive mind.

Barbara Kohn, the Austin Zen Center head teacher who proceeded Kosho McCall, taught a koan class that I took. There we read the koan. Mark Bykoski, a fellow zen student who reads Chinese, translated the koan from the Chinese for JustThis. I thought it was particularily revealing that the various answers the elder monk gives is predicated on him being asked the question. Here's a funny twist on the koan which ends with a similar "Because you have to ask."

I was greatly relieved one day to learn that Buddha Nature is not the goodie two-shoes in us, but rather who we really are. Perhaps it is an onion with all its skin removed, or maybe, rather than removing the skins, we merely have to polish the skins so that the nature of the onion is revealed.

In any case, I'm stuck with some preliminary questions before I can answer this age-old canine question: is there a dog, and is there me?

Beyond Good and Evil

So how do we stop walking around with two boxes, one for good and one for evil? Long lines are evil, short lines are good. Rich people are evil, poor people are good. Mosquitoes are evil, butterflies are good.

My neighbor said he won't talk politics because people get so worked up. But he said he'll vote.

Anyway, here are some strategies:

1. Go to a quiet place and get centered.

This might be counting to ten. Or meditating. Or taking a walk. Or eating a bowl of fruit. Do whatever works for you. Let the anger subside and the ripples in the water diminish.

2. Describe rather than judge.

Once we are in the judgment mode we stop observing. We've decided what's good and what isn't. Imagine instead you are a scientist and describe what you are looking at. And when you get tired of doing that, describe the observer describing the event. The difficulty in drawing is actually in seeing what is in front of us. A cd laying on our desk is not a circle unless we are right on top of it.

3. Look at the costs and benefits of both sides rather than making a "judgment."

Even a horrific disaster has many benefits. We are often in situations where we don't choose good from bad, but rather choose something with more benefits and less costs than another thing. What should I put on popcorn, butter or spray butter-flavored Crisco? Do I need to demonize one to choose the other?

4. Step outside of yourself and imagine what someone/something very different from yourself might think.

Contemplate a topic like contraception from the viewpoint of someone who trusts the Pope. Do we really want to call them "stupid" if we don't trust who they trust? And what do they call us for being so ignorant? Allow yourself to see what you'd think if you grew up with different influences, different handicaps. 

5. Realize you don't know all the answers, and, in fact, are prone to thinking you know a lot more than you do.

What do we really know? We can make a fair amount of safe bets. We turn a corner in our car and assume that there isn't a big hole in the street. But sometimes surprises come. Or take a simple question like "how long is 3 seconds?" One could study that for their lifetime and probably raise more questions than they'd answer. 

Kate's comments on Contraception—Ananda and Mother Theresa

Kate suggested that I had just changed the players in my recent blog about contraception. I was making the government evil when they intervene, and good when they don't.

This morning I read about the second patriarch, Ananda, who had a difficult time getting enlightenment. He memorized everything the Buddha said, but still, within Buddha's lifetime, never saw the light.

The first patriarch, Mahakashyapa (aka Kashyapa), was enlightened when the Buddha held up a flower and Kashyapa smiled. Of course, there was more to it than that. Kashyapa also had 30 of the 32 prerequistes that Buddhas have. When Kashyapa was enlightened, a golden robe came down from the sky. I guess he was outside.

Ananda kept asking Kashyapa if there was more to enlightenment than the robe. That's like asking the president if there is more to being a president than living in the White House.

In any case, Kashyapa (aka Kate) said, "Knock down the flagpole in front of the gate." In the good ol' days, when the Buddhists and the non-Buddhists argued, each would raise a flag. Whoever won the argument would be allowed to leave their flag up, while the crowds (?) would tear the other flag down. Big government/little government, insurance company pays for insurance, or not, and whatever else we might argue about. So knocking down the flagpole would be like becoming ok with contradictory points of view. No more dualistic dividing the world into the good guys and the bad guys. Anyway, when Ananda chopped down the flagpole, it crashed with a big thud, and he was finally enlightened. Note: Another interpretation is that Kashyapa had one flagpole and Ananda a second. Taking down the pole indicated that they were both of the same mind and now transmission had occurred. The problem I have with this reading is that there wasn't enlightenment until Kashyapa said, "take down the flagpole." Did Kashyapa know that Ananda would become enlightened?

I had lunch with a group of people today at Elsi's. A woman in the group had recently heard a talk by an author who had been Mother Theresa's closest aid for 10 years. Supposedly Mother Theresa never learned this woman's name because she wouldn't allow any personal relationships between herself and her patients, her associates, the helpers with each other. I asked the woman if the author was criticizing Mother Theresa or just describing how she was. I guess Mother T felt that personal relationships—even holding a baby more than absolutely necessary—would interfere with one's relationship with God. I want to add that Mother T claimed that in all her life she only contacted with Jesus for one week. But we can't say that she didn't try.

"Jesus has a very special love for you. As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear." Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1655720,00.html#ixzz1oD6e7KFa

So let's take down the flagpole and just describe. Maybe there is no "good" and no "evil."

AARP may not be your best friend.

I've been checking into Medicare Plan F. When I called United Health Care I got one price. Then I called AARP. They also chose United Health Care, but at a much higher price. All the Plan Fs are identical, with the exception of those with a large deductible.

So I told this to my wife, and she asked (she never asks this), are you going to write this on your blog? I hadn't thought of doing this ... but why not? Anyone else have good or bad experiences getting Medicare supplementary plans? Does it seem to matter what company you go through?

Health insurance and contraceptives

I think we are missing the point in the debate about health insurance paying for contraceptives. Those who advocate that women should be able to get contraceptives say that health insurance companies should pay for them by law, and those who find contraceptives sinful advocate that they should not be provided by their chosen companies.

Both sides are passionate about their beliefs. And both, in my opinion, are assuming that because they feel a certain way, that it is the job of government to legislate the behavior of insurance companies.

We complain that insurance companies' rates are so high. If contraception costs $1000 then the company needs to charge someone $1000 plus some additional costs for administration and profit. It doesn't matter if the woman or a school is paying for the insurance, the cost isn't going to be a gift of the gods.

Is this a role for government to legislate what the insurance companies should do? How about if that legislation is counter to what many desire? You might say, yes, they should pay for contraception because you believe in it. And yes, they should pay for abortions because you believe in them. But how about for something that you don't believe in ... but that the majority of citizens do? Should they pay for that too?

I see nothing wrong with insurance companies creating custom plans for employers (and for individuals). I'd like to live in a country where they could do that. And the $1000+ that I might save in premiums can pay for other things that I might value more than contraception.

Short Term Rentals

There has been plenty of discussion on the Austin neighborhood elists about SRLs (short term rentals), pro and con. Some people have found them to be a blessing, and others found them to be a nightmare. "Good" and "bad" are labels used by the various contributors.

Some aspects of this discussion have caught my attention. One is how everyone is trying to sway others to their point of view. I'm reminded, as an alternative, to the Indian tribe that has discussions with a pumpkin in the middle. They are reminded by the pumpkin that there are many sides to an issue, and the challenge is to see all the sides.

The second issue is that I get the impression that everyone would like the law to enforce their point of view. For example, some say that the landlord should live in Austin. There may be more oversight if this occurs, but does this warrant a law? And what about a "out-of-Austin" landlord with an impeccable record? Should they be exempt from the law?

It is too easy to muddle our lives with laws—laws that force others to conform to what we think is best. But do laws really improve the quality of our lives? And do they support the dissenting opinion?

An equally important issue is whether we already have laws in place that, if enforced, would solve many of the problems.

Let's look at other means besides more regulations to solve problems. And let's be mindful that regulations create new problems as well as solve them.

Juicing Austin

I have both a Champion and a Vitamix for "juicing." I use the Vitamix every day. I use the Champion for making peanut butter.

The Vitamix is far superior, because you don't waste all the pulp... and you can put anything in it. It is a lot of money... but well worth it. You can find reconditioned ones at their site... and they have a long guarantee. There are also some on ebay.

Here's my typical daily juice (I actually have a glass at each meal.

1 carton soy or almond milk or rice milk (or sometimes just water)
two apples (no seeds)
one grapefruit
blueberries
carrots (1 or 2)
banana
bok choy or celery
red grapes
nutritional yeast
flax seed
sometimes absorbic acid (vitamin c) powder

It cleans up very quickly, which is another advantage. I just put some soap in it with water and turn it on.

Masticating and centripetal juicers waste all the pulp, are limited by what they will juice, and are a pain to clean.

If you have too many of anything to use up... freeze it, and then you can juice it later. Or you can pour your juice into an ice cube tray and use that as at a later date.

The Politics of Birth Control

In the NYTimes today, I was dumbfounded by the article, Bishops Criticize Proposal on Birth Control Coverage.

Under the White House’s new plan, religiously affiliated charities and universities would not be required to provide insurance plans that include birth control. However, if an employee wanted contraception services, the insurance company that administered the regular insurance plan would be required to provide it to that employee at no charge.

Once could rewrite this to read (without changing the meaning),

All insurance companies shall provide employees birth control, should an employee desire it.

We know that the "no charge" is bogus, for birth control will be an expense for the insurance company ... and like every other expense, it will not come from the CEO salaries.

There is another issue that Uncle Obama (aka Sam) shouldn't be telling insurance companies what they should provide for free or otherwise.

I liked this article on Money and Morals by Klugman. I thought that since Rick Santorum is now a viable candidate, the election is about religion (what Klugman calls morals).

Mr. Obama is trying to satisfy everyone, and Santorum appears to be stuck in the quicksand of his own set of beliefs. Apparently Santorum will slide to third place after Arizona, Michigan and Ohio... so birth control will once more be usurped by $$$.

Vegan Gluten-Free Bread

Here's a really good gluten-free bread recipe:
http://www.namastefoods.com/recipes/cgi-bin/recipes.cgi?Function=show&Id=151

Here are some hints:

1) Amazon sells Namaste Perfect Flour Blend. Best price is to buy 6 bags of the flour on the subscribe and save deal. You can unsubscribe after the purchase if you want, so you aren't signing your life away. It is 48.10 for 6 bags... and that's the best price I've found. It says on the package "not for bread" but the grandma of Namaste figured out how to use it for bread. Also for sale at Central Market in Austin.

2) There is also a recipe on their website for a bread machine, but it is too difficult to get my machine to do one rise instead of two (preferred with gluten-free bread). And the bread machine doesn't cook it for long enough. Some suggest to put it in the oven after you cook it in the bread machine. t have a great bread machine for sale (cheap).
2) Cheapest yeast is at Sams or Costco. I freeze most of it, and refrigerate the rest. I mix it with water at 110°.

3) The consistency is that of cake dough, though I've never made a cake. It isn't possible to knead this by hand. You'll need a mixer (like Kitchenaid). I have an old Hobart... which works great on even a double recipe.

4) I use olive oil. I think that gives it a better flavor.

5) I've used both rice milk and almond milk. I think rice tastes better ... but both are fine.

6) I use tapioca flour ... just because I'm anti-corn products.

7) I use Energ Egg Replacer (Central Market in Austin).

8) I cook it at 375° for 40 minutes covered with aluminum foil and 40 more minutes not covered.

9) Take it out of the pan when done and put it on a rack. Don't dare cut into it until it is cool.

10) I switch off between agave and honey. Some macrobiotic folks are suspicion of agave. I'm not sure what I'll do when I run out of agave.

11) You need to toast it to eat it... and it takes the highest number on my toaster. Though it is great in bag lunches... even if you toast it earlier.

12) Olive oil works great to oil the baking pan.

Let me know how you like it. I bought some non-gluten bread ($5.49 for a loaf) and it tasted like ? (not good).

More on Consciousness

Click on collage to enlarge

Miss S sent me this about John Cage:

On Monday evening during the second program in Sound Reimagined: John Cage at 100, the Juilliard School's weeklong tribute to Cage, some recorded excerpts were played from Lecture on Nothing. Cage gave this famous talk in 1949 at Darmstadt, a hotbed of avant-garde music in Germany. In his soft-spoken, almost expressionless way, Cage was an effective speaker.

At one point he says, "If among you there are those who wish to get somewhere, let them leave at any moment." Cage was not just graciously inviting uninterested listeners to leave. His point, I think, was that we all create our own perceptual experiences, including when we listen to music. If our attention flags during a Beethoven symphony, we are not failing the task of listening. Rather, our wandering thoughts become part of the musical moment. 

I'm beating myself up for moving between my sensations and my thoughts about the sensations. Cage is saying that listening is that movement. And to not only to include our thoughts about the sensations, but other thoughts as well.

So is it possible to be a bad listener? I wonder what he'd say. Probably, no. Perhaps only if you want to get somewhere else, you can't be here. Or perhaps if you want to gain anything, you can't/won't participate. 

So what's wrong with criticism, anyway?

Click on image to enlarge!

I needed to go to the grocery ... to buy some chicken and soy sauce. I didn't want to buy chicken, but my wife gave me that look, so I decided to abide.

I also didn't want to spend a lot of time, so I thought I'd drive. But when I went out, and found it to be sunny and 73°, I decided to walk.

To get to the grocery, I need to cross one busy street, Lamar. There is a button to press on the light pole. I pressed it a few times, but then didn't pay attention to the light, and it took a couple of rounds before I saw the green walk now signal. The sign just lasts for a nanosecond. 

When I arrived at the grocery, I thought I'd go in the door of the food court and get some of my favorite soy-vegan gelato. Outside the door was what appeared to be a homeless man. He said "Hi Randy, haven't seen you for a long time." I smiled at him and walked on, wondering what part of me looked like his friend Randy.

There were two women at the counter when I asked for the gelato. One said to the other, "you get the gelato and I'll ring him up." 

I went to an outside table to sit and eat it. The air was breathtaking. Breathtaking, that is, until I realized it was breathtaking. Not soon after the realization, I smelled a whiff of garlic as a couple of men carried their lunches to the empty table next to me. One said to the other, "that looks healthy," as I was thinking to myself "that stinks," I thought the smell would soon go away. "I was in the vast outdoors," I thought.

Next thing I knew I got up from my table and walked to another table, away from the garlic. I enjoyed the rest of my gelato listening to the birds, and reading the weekly [Austin] Chronicle ... and not smelling the garlic salmon.

Then I went to wash the gelato off my fingers, and proceeded to get the soy sauce and chicken. The chicken, however, didn't look too good. Instead I bought a rotisseried turkey breast. Hopefully our guests tonight will like that with vegetable soup and spinach salad.

As I write this, I'm fascinated by the cycle of perception/sensation/judgment. I remembered learning about the Buddhist 5 khandas [Heaps, Aggregates] which describe the process we go through when something new comes into our space:

• rupa   the physical form
• vedana   initial reactions to sensory input
• sañña   perception; identifying ability of the mind
• sankhara   mental formations (thoughts and emotions)
• viññana   consciousness

Consciousness is the tough one for me right now. Rather than being "with" the object, I make endless judgments: the homeless man, the not-so-good chicken, the smelly garlic, etc. I'm not just conscious of the object, I'm putting it on trial and convicting it all at one swoop.

I decided rather than to get a cart or a basket at the grocery that I would just use the bag I brought with me to carry the groceries home. Then I started fantasizing how someone was watching me from an office and was ready to arrest me if I left the store without paying. There is one counter to pay by the door for those who have only a few items. I went there, and a large nicely dressed cop was there, with an even larger gun. I looked to see if he had something in his ear that they had used to communicate with him that a possible turkey/soy sauce theft was soon to occur. His ears were clear of any electronics, so I felt safe, checked out, and started walking back home.

As I waited for the light to change, I started listening to the sound of the cars ... and how they were different from each other. I only realized a few minutes later that I had watched Margaret Dunning, age 101, talk about how different cars used to have different sounds. Wow, I thought, they still do. 

Walking home, I continued to focus on the sounds of the birds and the cars. I noticed that I couldn't simultaneous think "beautiful spring" and hear the sounds. I wanted to take my sweatshirt off, but didn't. I wonder now how hard my poor brain worked debating whether or not my sweatshirt should come off.

Earlier, I had written something to Miss S. about criticism. On the walk, I had tried to keep away from judgement and to just be thinking and feeling, rather that being conscious of my thoughts and emotions. I found it a difficult road... not to criticize, not to be conscious of being conscious. The judgment realm kept getting in the way. "I like this, I don't like this."

When I get to the judgment realm, I leave the experience realm. That's the problem.  I am blind, lost in my recent but past experience.

So when I listen to sound of traffic and start to realize that it is good or bad... at that moment I have stopped listening. 

Criticism is often hurtful... not necessarily skillful means. Not only does it deprive me of being in the company of another or even of myself, it also puts me one up on you. Better to just let the other know how I am feeling. That is communication. Or maybe (sometimes) just keeping my mouth shut is the best policy.

In Zen, there are three tests for right speech:

Is it honest?

Is it timely?

Is it helpful?

It is hard, thinking back on my criticisms, to find those that pass all three litmus tests. I think one of the reasons that the Buddha gave 20,000 different dharma talks is that he had something different to say for each unique occasion. 

One of our guests tonight had worked in a bar for many years and is extremely skillful at reducing arguments (esp. about politics or religion) to nothing. I admire her ability to do this.

PS. I told her about Romney saying today, "I’m not concerned about the very poor...." (partial sentence). She said, "ah-uh!"

Of course, she's right.

Kate is absolutely right. Criticizing is just another form of complaining. I asked Anne this morning about criticizing someone for being angry. She said, "yea, I did it once and now she's not my friend anymore." Then I thought about how William Glasser, who I've mentioned before, said that we know to not criticize our friends because then they won't be our friends anymore (we do criticize our family... which is why we are sometimes closer to friends than family).

So it seems we (those who have friends) have a circle of people we don't criticize and then have the rest of the world as a shooting gallery. On the other hand, it is said that we are our own worst critic.

I do know that it doesn't feel right when I hear the candidates badmouthing each other. Susan in Austin (or was it my wife?) said this morning that I feel that way because I'm too sensitive.

What happened to defamation of character? What happened to civility?

Anyway, I decided today to turn over a new leaf. Time for spring in Austin. No more criticizing anyone.

Until tomorrow...

Good question on complaining.

Kate: How is ‘choosing not to complain’ different from ‘apathy’ and/or ‘complacency’?

When two things, like pacifism and complacency, look so much alike, how do you know what you are doing? It is clear, in situations like Occupy Wall Street (in its best light) and the revolt that Gandhi led, that we did not see complacency. But how about the monk who faces the wall of a cave for ten years. Is he accomplishing anything, or is he just avoiding the world's ills?

One could say that if you aren't adding wood to the fire, you are assisting in putting the fire out. My walking neighbor won't talk about the Republican nominations because we are so far from the election. Is he being complacent? Today he said that he didn't like the emotions behind politics. Who does?

Part of not being complacent is being right, being on a side. Another way of approaching "life" is simply to look at both sides and see that each has its costs and benefits. The "pipeline" being proposed from Canada to Houston will do good things A, B, and C and will harm D, E, F. Is this an equanimous approach? Not quite (though I am just a beginner at all this). I found this on the web: "But the kind of equanimity required has to be based on vigilant presence of mind, not on indifferent dullness." Equanimity isn't the result of analysis, but of being "in the moment." It is not stepping backward and thinking, but rather stepping inward and opening one's heart.

Some feel that the world will not be habitable for long if we build the pipeline. Can they do anything but covert action ("as a mother risks her life to save her only child")? Is equanimity an appropriate response when a child (or the Earth) is threatened?

Have I given more questions than answers? Hope so!

Vegetable Soup

Cook lentils, split peas, or beans according to the package.

Cook an onion, 4 sticks of celery in a frying pan or wok. Bok choy too...

Heat up a box of vegetable broth (low salt) and about equal part of water.

Add about 4 carrots, 1 large potato (cut in 1" cubes), and lentils/peas/beans. Even frozen peas or a can of beans will work... but better and cheaper to make from scratch.

If your wife isn't looking, add other stuff that you like (like kale) and she doesn't. Chop it up small so she doesn't catch you.

Put in the cooked onion and celery.

Add a heaping teaspoon of salt, tablespoon of parsley, bay leafs (2), and heaping teaspoon of herbs de Provence.

Simmer until potato is soft.

You can blend some of the soup... but I like it as it is. It is almost a stew sometimes... or you can add water. Hot sauce is good too.

I guess you could add garlic, but since I don't like garlic I'm not going to tell you that.

You now have food for about 4 or 5 days.

Three Perfect Candidates: Political Pacifism

I sat three periods of zazen this morning. I needed that, considering the amount of controversy that has passed in front of me this week. Some of it started when my long-time friend of 49 years, Miss S., called Rick Santorum an asshole. My zen teacher calls us all buddha. How can someone be buddha and an asshole? If that wasn't bad enough, my best commenter-to-my-blog-friend, Kate, said that asshole is pretty tame. She went on to say what might have a little more impact.

I think ‘demonizing’ goes more like, “He is too evil to rot in hell for all eternity. He is Cain, cursed to walk the earth until the end of time. The only reason he looks relatively young is because he eats aborted baby dumplings all the time. If he were Buddhist, he could look forward to being reborn as a maggot in a pile of crap. Farts are too good for him.”

I asked my palates teacher to rename "bomber wings" to "angel wings" in my effort to quiet things down. She complied.

As I sat this morning, I thought (what everyone does even though we are told to follow our breath) about how the Dalai Lama doesn't seem to have anger toward the Chinese who have removed him from his homeland. He writes,

Anger is the real destroyer of our good human qualities; an enemy with a weapon cannot destroy these qualities, but anger can. Anger is our real enemy.

So why do I say that we have three perfect candidates? One makes too much money and doesn't give enough of it back to the other 99.9%. The second has ethical issues. And the third calls a baby that resulted from a rape "a gift" (though he adds the adjective, "broken"). One might say of this almost biblical tale, that these are despicable human beings, using some of Kate's metaphors.

But no, this is an opportunity to see who we are in the face of our dislikes. These men are our brothers. We are part of the same spaceship, whirling through space. Our problems are their problems. They have a different perspective than we might have. But are they fodder for anger? Is anything?

Anger gets in the way of love. It eats at us until we are sick. It keeps us from enjoying life.

"Well, why don't they just change their views and pay more taxes, and then I'll be happier?" you say. That may happen, but then someone else will say or do something that will offend us and we'll be cranky all over again.

We can choose to respond differently.

In some studies done by scientists invited by the Dalai Lama to Northern India it is shown that thinking can change the brain. We can choose not to complain and we can choose not to be angry. The amazing part of this is that we stop being angry people. Our hearts can open up to our brothers and sisters, and we can talk to them rather that throw darts at them. I love that line in the Lord's Prayer, "And forgive us our trespasses,: as we forgive them that trespass against us." It is much easier to be angry. And you need to remember that anger goes in both direction. Buddha said (heard this today in a dharma talk) that when you put more wood on a fire it gets hotter.

Santorum, abortion, and equanimity.

Below is an email conversation that I had with my friend "S" about Rick Santorum and abortion. I'm always surprised when people condemn others.

S: this guy is a real ass hole. 

Article: GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum explained his opposition to abortion even in cases of rape during an interview Friday, saying that women who face such circumstances should "make the best out of a bad situation."

Asked by CNN's Piers Morgan what he would do if his own daughter approached him, begging for an abortion after having been raped, Santorum explained that he would counsel her to "accept this horribly created" baby, because it was still a gift from God, even if given in a "broken" way.

"Well, you can make the argument that if she doesn't have this baby, if she kills her child, that that, too, could ruin her life. And this is not an easy choice, I understand that. As horrible as the way that that son or daughter and son was created, it still is her child. And whether she has that child or she doesn't, it will always be her child, and she will always know that," Santorum said.

"And so to embrace her and to love her and to support her and get her through this very difficult time, I've always, you know, I believe and I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created -- in the sense of rape -- but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you. As you know, we have to, in lots of different aspects of our life we have horrible things happen. I can't think of anything more horrible, but nevertheless, we have to make the best out of a bad situation and I would make the argument that that is making the best."

(Video above via CNN)
Santorum has crusaded against abortion throughout his tenure as a legislator and presidential hopeful. A recent analysis of his time as a U.S. senator showed an almost obsessive tendency to talk about abortion-related subjects on the Senate floor. His strict views on the issue, as well as gay rights, have repeatedly drawn aggressive pushback from his detractors on the campaign trail.

In an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal on Monday, Santorum called Obama's support of women's reproductive rights "radical and extreme," arguing that this was illustrated through the president's recent statement on the 39th anniversary of Roe v. Wade.

Other hardline anti-abortion advocates have explained their views much like Santorum has. In 2010, Tea Party-backed Nevada Senate candidate Sharron Angle was asked to explain her belief that abortions were unacceptable even in the case of a girl being raped by her father.

"I think that two wrongs don't make a right," she answered. "And I have been in the situation of counseling young girls, not 13 but 15, who have had very at-risk, difficult pregnancies. And my counsel was to look for some alternatives, which they did. And they found that they had made what was really a lemon situation into lemonade." 

Mr. Kim: I don't think this is so black and white. He's compassionate (in perhaps his limited way) for the well-being of both the child and the mother. Though you and I might direct our compassion in a different direction, I don't think he should be demonized for his view. There are at least three things to consider: the psychological distress that may be caused by an abortion, the distress of having an unwanted child on the mom and the child, and the life of the child. No solution is without costs. 

S: It's clear that he thinks that the moment of conception = personhood. And then it would follow that if you think that since every time you have sex, you might be conceiving (since he also believes that any and all forms of birth control are "unnatural" and definitely out ) then, I guess, even married people [pre-marital sex??? oh my god!!! HELL, FIRE AND BRIMSTONE!!!] should not have sex at all if they don't want kids. But, that too is interfering with what is "natural" and not in [his] book. He seems ready to give others no choice and force his religious beliefs onto others in laws that he would support or veto. I am not sure that is a President's prerogative. Or ??? What about the right to privacy? He would work around that by making it again a crime to perform an abortion? What about the sacredness of medical records? We all have to sign papers now about privacy matters. The medical staff of a doctor can't even confirm with husband/wife an appointment!!! So now, the doctor is going to tell about performing an abortion. That is violating the trust between the woman and her doctor. What about supporting or not supporting personal religious practices: congress shall make no law that supports or does not support any particular religion - [even atheism]. Or? I interpret his religious beliefs are not just for him, but for everybody.

Mr. Kim: Abortion is the perfect opportunity to practice equanimity. As I meditated this evening, I started to mourn for the apple seeds that I throw on the compost pile. How insensitive of me, I thought. Perhaps these seeds should have a better opportunity to sprout. Maybe they will just decay and become dirt.

Abortion is about drawing a line. Actually drawing many lines. We can kill cows but not dogs. We can eat carrots and apples, but not canaries and cats. You could define personhood as when you become an adult, or even when a couple beds down together... or anywhere in-between. Mr Santorum has his views. Everyone has views. Is one view "right" and another "wrong"? Of are views merely fashions, constructed from the world through our particular lens. 

Part of Santorum's religion is to have others do as he believes. Others do not have his religion. Is this a reason to hate the man... to despise him? I think not. Don't vote for him if you want, but why get riled up about it? He draws the line in one sandbox, you draw it in another. Yes, persuade others to do as you do... but don't demonize him. He's a sincere and conscientious human being, as you are.

Kate's comments on prosperity.

Prosperity should appeal to everyone. --- Mr. Kim

True. By definition, being prosperous is good. How individuals define prosperity might be different.

Dictionary.com defines prosperity: 1. a successful, flourishing, or thriving condition, especially in financial respects; good fortune.

Any compassionate person would wish prosperity for all. The question is the means toward that prosperity. And what is the cost in terms of money and freedom?

I doubt it will be from taking from the rich and giving to the poor. --- Mr. Kim

Is ‘taking from the rich and giving to poor’ different from ‘redistributing resources more equitably among all peoples’?

Both statements are biased. And each in a different direction. I question who has the right to make giving to charity a law.

Are we talking opportunity or assets? --- Mr. Kim

Assets equal resources. Access to resource is opportunity. The absence of resource is lack of opportunity.

Equality of opportunity infers better access to education, health care, fresh air and water, etc. for all. --- Mr. Kim

Education, health care, fresh air and water are resources. Access to resource is opportunity. Equality of opportunity is Equality of ‘resource’. Resource equals assets.

The advantage of improving resources is that then everyone's assets can grow. Who should be the one doing this? Who can best do this? Who knows best what the individual needs?

I can't think of communist/socialist societies that have provided prosperity and equality of opportunity. So I'll say that Karl Marx is not good. --- Mr. Kim

I can’t think of any society were there is peace and goodwill toward all beings. Does that mean Buddha is not good?

I think the division of labor and the free market have contributed greatly to peace and goodwill. Not necessarily "intentional" goodwill, but knowing that you need your neighbor for your survival encourages you to treat her well.

Kennedy had it wrong when he said, "...ask what you can do for your country." --- Mr. Kim

Because he should have said . . .

He should have said, "ask what your country can do for you." That is the basis by which many people will vote. I like better Abe Lincoln's "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth." The cumulative effect should be awesome of everyone voting for a president that would make them more prosperous. Wouldn't everyone become more prosperous and therefore the country would be more prosperous? And prosperous in the way that people want to be prosperous. There is a "virtue to selfishness" as Ayn Ryan's book indicated.

Karl Marx: Is it good or bad? Prosperity and Equality for all.

Kate asked if sounding like Karl Marx is good or bad. I've been thinking about that. And Mr. Obama will be talking tonight about how he (the government) will provide prosperity and equality should he be reelected.

Prosperity should appeal to everyone. Everyone, that is, except the environmentalists who might infer that if we have more then the environment will be further depleted. Prosperity is a goal for many. We believe that we'll be a little happier and will suffer a little less with prosperity.

How can the government provide prosperity for all? I doubt it will be from taking from the rich and giving to the poor. That will (superficially) help the poor, but will not contribute to the prosperity of the rich. We'll hear tonight how the government will increase prosperity. Most of what the government does, when it does anything, is spend money. Whose money? Our money, of course. So to increase prosperity, there must be a "value added." They must spend our money more efficiently than we can. For example, when I go to the grocery, I get $10 of fruits and veges. If Uncle Sam takes my $10 and buys me groceries, the inference is that I'll get $11 of fruits and veges. My suspicion is that I'll end up with about $3 of corn syrup... but we'll see.

Equality. That's a big one. Are we talking opportunity or assets? Robin Hood provides equality of assets. Superficially, I believe, because Robin Hood destroys incentive. Why should I try so hard if so much will be taken from me? Or should I hide my $$$ on the Cayman Islands so that I can take care of myself on a rainy day. Equality of opportunity sounds great to me. I suspect that we have more of that in America than has ever existed in any country ever... and we have a long way to go. I'm hoping Obama will have some good suggestions on how equality can be provided. Equality of opportunity infers better access to education, health care, fresh air and water, etc. for all.

I can't think of communist/socialist societies that have provided prosperity and equality of opportunity. So I'll say that Karl Marx is not good. But more importantly (in my view) is that the shortcoming of the planned society is that we have less freedom to pursue our aims. I might have tremendous skills to practice medicine, but tremendous interest in making bad art. I'd rather live where I can pursue bad art. In a planned society, my life will be dictated by the boss. Kennedy had it wrong when he said, "...ask what you can do for your country."

$20,000 an hour

Yesterday a Facebook commenter to my previous post pointed out that Romney earned $20,000 an hour last year, suggesting that no one can be worth that much. Yet he was paid that much. Worth in economics is what the market is willing to pay. The Museum of Modern Art reopened their doors a few years ago charging $20 admission. They are still packed. Is it worth it? Obviously, if people are willing to pay that.

Anonymous wrote,

The wealthy executives and people who have accumulated wealth have done so because they have taken some of the financial worth of their masses of employees. They've already taken money from the bottom, and higher levels of taxes at the top acknowledges that fact and re-balances the system."

This statement could have been written by Karl Marx. The inference that wealth was accumulated because employees are short-changed is highly contentious. "...taking money from the bottom..." suggests that companies should pay their workers more than the going rate. For the vast number of publicly owned companies, paying employees more would mean that the stockholders get less dividends, the companies would have less cash on hand, and/or CEOs would get paid less (or perhaps all three). Either of these actions would start a vicious circle. If the stockholders get less dividends, the stock and the profits will go down. Then there would be less money for the generous CEOs to give away, presumably to rebalance the system. And the CEOs, perhaps not being so altruistic, would go to work for a different company willing to pay them more.

I don't expect to settle this argument. I do wish more people would voluntarily share their riches with those less fortunate. It seems that the great benefactors usually choose to give to the truly unfortunate, or to cultural or educational institutions. And maybe some will pay their workers enough to "balance" the system. I can not think of a business that does that, but maybe one does exist.

Or another note, I would mow my small lawn for $5. Yet, even with the great unemployment we have, I can not find anyone to do it for less that $20. Why is that?

Why is life not fair?

Last year, [Apple] earned over $400,000 in profit per employee, more than Goldman Sachs, Exxon Mobil or Google. Much of this money could be distributed to their employees... or it could use the money to hire workers to make their products in USA (instead of China). Is this what they should do? What would happen to their stock if they did this? And what would happen to their research and development?

Romney pays a lot of taxes.

I just read Taxes at the Top, by Paul Krugman. He dished out his usual garbage, this time talking about how little in taxes Romney pays. Let's say that Romney made 387 million last year. At 15% that would be almost 58 million in taxes. For most of us, that's a lot of money. I suspect it goes way way beyond the benefits he derives from the Federal government. In addition, he pays state tax and sales tax, and a host of other taxes embedded in the prices of the items he buys. Let's say that someone who earns 100,000 pays at a 37% rate. They might end up paying 20 or 25 thousand. That's 3-4% as much taxes. Please tell me, Robin Hood, why Romney should be paying more than he is? I think 58 million is plenty.

P.S. This is not a paid ad for Romney.

P.S.S. I'm not voting for Krugman.

Answering a question about buddha nature with a question.

I asked, "if everything changes why doesn't buddha nature, which is unchanging and eternal, change?" Kosho answered, "does it matter?" I said "no." The crowd laughed, and we went on to the next question.

It was an easy out for me. Kosho implied from the question that he thought the answer was no. But is it? Janie came up to me afterwards and said that medieval Jewish scholars debated this question and she would send me the name of a book about it. But until then...

Perhaps the changing world is the relative world (in Buddhist terms) and buddha nature exists in the absolute world. And, so I'm told, both exist together. Things that we really value, like love, don't (in themselves) come and go. Our "love" for something may cease, but the "love" itself doesn't disappear.

Buddha nature is both an ideal and a reality within ourselves. It is the part that we come back to when we are authentic. It is the response of a mother protecting her only child (from a sutra we chant). Though Buddhists claim they are without goals, I think it is a goal to meet and entertain this buddha nature part of ourselves. It is who we are.

Perhaps for those who believe in rebirth it is that part of us that we can't get rid of... the sticky part. Maybe it allows us to measure change. Without it there is only dukkha. Yes, it does matter both that it is and that it doesn't go away. Very much so.

And... if buddha nature did change, and did go away... then we would have to deal with that. It would be a different hand of cards.

It isn't what you plan.

I told a priest about a Southern India vegetarian restaurant. He said he didn't like Indian food... and then went on to tell me the other foods he didn't like. I asked him about the Buddhist idea of "no preferences" and he said that he tries. Then he asked the head priest if he liked nut bread, knowing that too much of that was served at the monastery where they used to reside. The head priest said that he liked it (or maybe he said he hated it). In any case, I asked, what about the buddha who had no preferences? He said that all those buddhas are dead.

Yesterday I had big plans. I was going to pick up an art work from an exhibition, get an "over 65" bus pass, buy some secret ingredient (tapioca flour)  for my soon to be successful (I hope) experiment with making perfect non-gluten bread, and see the Henry Horenstein photo exhibit. My challenge was not to waste a lot of time or gas.

I knew that you got the bus pass from the main office for Austin Metro. It was on the East side of Austin. So I went there, only to find out that I was wrong... it was downtown. I thought of the positives... that I had now seen a part of Austin new to me, and I had an opportunity here to have a disappointment and to let it "roll off my back" as Jeanie told me to do once in St. Louis.

Then I took off to the Horenstein exhibit (which I enjoyed tremendously). Animals shot at zoos and aquarians. I thought it was between where I was, and downtown. I set my GPS to the new location, and discovered that I passed downtown towards the west side to get there. Oh well, I thought, next time I'll know better.

Then I went to pick up my artwork, which was not only in downtown Austin near the other Metro office, but included free parking for the day. After returning to my car and wrapping the work in my yoga mat, I decided to walk to the Metro office. I got the pass, and then realized that I would have to ride the bus six times over the next two years to pay for it ($3). I was then within walking distance to a couple of museums. So I walked to the first one, which turned out to be further than I remembered. This is good, I thought, I get to walk more. On the way I found a third museum. It was closed while they were setting up an exhibit.

Then I got there (or at least where Google said it should be, and found a deserted museum. I checked Google again and concluded that when it merged with a second museum it had actually dissolved into nothing. Oh, great, I though, another opportunity to not get disappointed.

So then I went to the museum that it had merged with. I didn't think I'd have to pay there because I had donated a work to them for a future exhibit. I got there and the door had a padlock on it. I figured that this must be the wrong door... so I walked to the other side of the museum and found the door locked. Then I walked back to the locked door and read the sign. Not open until today. Another opportunity to enjoy the nice sunny day in Austin, I thought.

At City Hall, where I had my artwork, I got to see the folks who were occupying City Hall. Countless sleeping bags were set up on the steps, and two guys were throwing a football back and forth. Four cops were giving a hard time to a guy who'd been drinking. Throughout  my walk through the downtown area I found an interesting assortments of street people and home people. It took a second look sometimes to tell the difference.

Finally, I returned to my car at City Hall, and drove off to Natural Grocers to get the Tapioca and some organic short grain rice (much better than long grain). I found also some non-gluten pretzels... that I shouldn't have bought... and if I bought, shouldn't have eaten. But I did and I did.

This might have sounded like a shaggy dog story... but it was really a great day. Lots of disappointments took me to see things I've never seen, and an opportunity to "go with the flow" rather than to lament that life isn't how I planned. 

P.S. Thanks to Angela for telling me about a cool new 99¢ iPad program called "Artpad" that I used to make the image above.

More on Vulture Capitalism

You raise some interesting questions in the tradition of "Uncle Miltie," but the memory of what Carl Icahn did to TWA and by extension to the St. Louis metropolitan region gives me the creeps. I remain suspicious of these takeover artists. H.

It is interesting how different things are seen from different vantage points. For the worker and her family who loses a job because Romney does what he is hired to do, the takeover is a disaster. For the companies that prosper and hire more people, Romney is a breath of fresh air. Growth is painful. Maybe sometimes it probably doesn't need to be as painful as it is. But who knows?

The other objection to Romney's work at Bain capital is that he charged so much for his services. This complaint takes me back to Christ kicking out the money changers, explicating the view that making money is evil, and the more money one makes the more evil they are. In my book, letting companies fail is evil if someone could save them.

You might think that I'm advocating Romney as a candidate. Not at this point. I'm just bothered by the attacks on vulture capitalism and making money.

Vulture Capitalism

Someone quoted the Dalai Lama the other day saying that the essence of Buddhism was being kind. Or maybe it was being nice. Or maybe it doesn't matter.

Yesterday there were criticisms of Mitt Romney because he failed with his assistance in the takeover at Kansas City's Worldwide Grinding Systems steel mill. Newt Gingrich claimed this was the wrong type of capitalism. He did not acknowledge that Romney was hugely successful as a takeover artist and in the end probably created far more jobs that he lost. What would kitten capitalism be? Would you go into a failing company and tell everyone that they could keep their jobs, and that nothing would change, and hopefully things would get better?

In this case "nice" or "kind" is not so obvious. Is "have a heart" always the best policy?

How to post a comment on a blog post.

Some have asked how to post a comment on a blog. The secret is to click on the word "comments" which is circled in red above.

Then you pull down the "jump menu" and choose who you want to comment as. If you want to be anonymous... and/or you don't have a Google account, you can choose anonymous.

Then click Publish... and... your response will be deeply appreciated. I can't read your mind, so if you do have thoughts about something I've said, I'd love to hear them. 

Thanks,

Kim

What was Buddha Thinking?

The RISD Museum Buddha
by Pujakins

The large wooden Buddha
Sits placidly in a quiet room
Far from his native land.

No priests tend his temple.
He smiles on museum visitors
Peace in his glance.

Once he contained prayers
Dropped through openings in his lotus legs
Does he miss his worshipers?

I sit quietly on a bench
Breathing in his vast presence
Breathing out awareness of peace.

On Mondays at noon I go to one of my favorite classes. There are five of us, and a Zen priest, Kosho. We each read from a book of quotations... and then we interpret the quote. Usually Kosho will comment, leading us toward a deeper understanding.

Today I sat on the other side of the table and faced this Buddha above. He silently meditated despite our stumbling over such concepts as the difference between pain and suffering, the significance of ordinary things, and the importance of this moment. Buddha (or, as my wife pointed out, a photo of a statue of the Buddha), sat quietly and did not flinch as we revealed what we call in Zen our "beginner's mind."

I felt there were seven of us in the room, with Buddha teaching by example. 50 years ago I read the Tao statement, "He who speaks does not know. He who knows does not speak." The Buddha didn't say a word during the entire class. Normally we don't speak either, except when it is our turn with the quote... or during the the last 10 minutes. But our minds go a million miles a minute, generating countless "dukkha" as we think about what we'd like to say about someone else's quote, what we did earlier in the day, and what we'll do after class.

We disband sharply at 1pm. The Buddha doesn't get up, doesn't flinch, and doesn't even gloat that he no longer needs to struggle with such concepts. How did he figure things out? Did he one day have "beginner's mind?"

I do not know.

Dialogue with Angela on Freedom, Veganism, and the Environment

Is there a new priest at the zen center who is vegan or recommending that Buddhist followers should be vegan? I just wondered if that had something to with you going back to vegan? Are you off cheese too?

I haven't eaten cheese for a long time ... except in some weak moments.

No ... I believe that all the priests other than Trevor eat meat. And Trevor is gone.

I'm feeling much more peaceful not eating meat.

Remember that the monks asked Buddha if he'd make vegan a rule. He said no ... that we'd have to eat what is given to us. And he died from eating bad pork ... that he knew was bad, but did not want to insult the giver.

So the stories go.

I think each person should do what is right for themselves:)

How about if that means depleting the Earth of its resources. I heard yesterday that if everyone on Earth lived as we (Americans) did, we'd need five Earths.

Imagine we are on a ship. There are limited resources on the ship, and we want the ship to go on as long of a journey as possible. We start with the premise that we'll all be free to use and to refrain from using resources as each of us sees fit. Then the environmental committee, charged with creating a sustainable environment, notices that we are depleting resources at an alarming rate. What do we do?

I believe that laws are a last resort, but certainly necessary in a case like this. In Austin, we are just allowed to water our lawns once a week when there is a shortage. I do not see an alternative to some laws like that one.

Each of us is free to follow or break the law. But, obviously, there are usually consequences for those who break it.

I think back on that anime presentation we went to where that man talked about the people in the future mining the landfills for plastic. Who knows what is in the future?

People should be taught to be more mindful of the earth for their own future. It is not enough for them to care about the future of their children. If they were led to believe that they would be reborn on earth to live in the mess that they created then they might be more mindful. Instead they are taught that they will be reborn in heaven where things are good, so they just trash up where they live now. Sad, but the reborn into a living creature and eating the flesh of the living is all mixed into that equation. Who can say what is right and wrong? Who is qualified that walks on this earth? That is what I would like to know.

I like your point that the concept of Heaven doesn't encourage people to take care of Earth. Unless we say that part of the resume that one turns in on judgement day will include how they took care of their spaceship (Earth).

Who is qualified to make judgements? Nobody knows anything for sure. But we need to be able to predict consequences in order to live. I don't drive 100 mph because I predict it might lead to disaster. So I listen to myself and others about the risks of various behaviors and act accordingly. Those who like the "rush" from risks live dangerously. Others live more conservatively.

It isn't a matter of absolutes like right and wrong. It is a matter of “it seems that this (or that) behavior will lead to these consequences.” We are constantly making decisions based on our sense of what might happen if we do or don't.

If I can keep my hummingbird feeders full for the hummingbirds that are stuck here for the cold winter and I can keep my flowers alive for the monarch butterflies that are stuck here too and I do not use poison on my yard and not eat other living flesh animals, then I am doing what I can in a small way. If everyone did something in a small way to make the Earth a better place then it would add up to something big :)

We certainly need a mix of all kinds of people doing all kinds of things. Some say that the situation is too critical on Earth for people to just go about their business. We generally go to war when we see no other options (as trying to stop Hitler in WWII). I do not know if we are at the point where we should drop our paint brushes and blow up industrial complexes. And I have no idea if that would make things worse (though I suspect that it would).

I agree that if everyone did something small it would add up to something big.

Born again Vegan

This is my second day of being a vegan, after about a six month break. Before that, I did it for about ten years. I lost track it was so long.

I do have a rather serious problem: I have a bunch of frozen food in the freezer that might have meat in it. Unlike most of life's problems, I guess the solution is pretty easy. Eat it? Throw it away? Yes... that's what I'll do... throw suspect food away.

And another problem: I am getting closer at making good non-gluten bread and the recipe requires two eggs. So tomorrow I'm going to get some egg substitute... and then hope for the best. My wife is having a some people over on Sunday and I'm going to make bread to go with the soup.
So why did I become a vegan again?

Five reasons I can think of:

1) It is better for the environment. There are lots of facts I could give. This is one about the comparative water use to produce a pound of beef or a pound of corn:

Just a pound of beef! Conservatively taking 2000 gallons (I've read elsewhere that it can be as much as 5000 gallons) as the means for producing a pound of beef, think about how much 2000 gallons of water is. How much water do you drink in a day? A gallon? Half a gallon? How many gallons of water do you think you use when you shower? 30-40 gallons? Every time you flush the toilet in a day, how many gallons? 15-20? Every time you wash your hands? 2-3 gallons? Let’s go for the high end and say that the average human uses 100 gallons of water in a day. After 20 average days of your use of water, you would have created 1 pound of beef. 1 pound. You could conservatively eat for 2-3 days on a pound of beef. Now think about the fact that it is possible to take four times as much water to create a pound of beef—80 days worth of your daily water consumption to make 1 pound of beef. The water that you use over about 3 months time will produce a pound of beef. ONE POUND. 

Now look at the alternative. A pound of corn is grown using 100-250 gallons of water. How long will that last? 2–3 days? Obviously a pound of corn would get boring and it isn’t nutritionally sound, but if all you had was a pound of corn, you could eat it over 2–3 days. Now looking at the high end, if we’ve reasoned that the average American uses 100 gallons of water a day, how many days worth of water would it take to make a pound of corn? 2–3 days. And how long could you live on a pound of corn? 2-3 days. (http://enviroveggie.com/)

2)  It is more healthful:

There is abundant evidence that vegetarian diets are more healthful than the average American diet, especially for preventing, treating or reversing heart disease and reducing the risk of cancer.¹ Research has shown a low-fat vegetarian diet is the single most effective way to stop progression of coronary artery disease or prevent it altogether. Several other health conditions, such as diabetes,² obesity,³ gallstones,⁴ and kidney stones,⁵ are much less common in vegetarians. The health benefits of a vegetarian diet may be linked to the fact that vegetarians tend to eat less animal fat, protein and cholesterol and more fiber and antioxidants.⁶ Simply put, the fewer animal foods and the more varied, whole plant foods consumed, the healthier the individual will be compared to the general population. (http://www.vegsource.com/articles/veg_definition.htm)

3)  Eating non-meats is not connected with violence and animal maltreatment. It surprises me when I hear about someone going to jail for mistreating a dog or cat, but never hear about any penalties for slaughtering a pig or cow. I don't think one can be a peaceful human being and at the same time be an accessory to hurting animals. 

4) Meat is expensive. Better meat (like animals that have been treated well with healthful diets) costs even more. Pounds of potatoes that can be grown on an acre: 40,000. Pounds of beef produced on an acre: 250.

5) It reinforces the idea that Earth (and its animals) are not solely for the benefit of humans. I like to think that we share Earth with our furry friends.

Not convinced? See http://www.consumercide.com/js/index.php/food-supply/39-necessarily-vegetarian/379-how-to-win-an-argument-with-a-meat-eater

Any of these ideas would be sufficient. And I remember that Hitler was a vegetarian and the Dali Lama (on the advice of his doctor) ate meat. That helps me realize that those who make other choices are not evil and I'm sure that can find five good reasons for their indulgences as I found with mine.