I was so close

I was far far away.

The King

Given that Bodhidharma was sent to China to straighten people up, and did some straightening in the first two questions with the Emperor, I'm beginning to think that the third question, "who are you," means simply "who are you to be contradicting my beliefs."

I showed my photos to Henry Holmes Smith every year or so when I was in school. One time he looked at some strange things I was doing and said, "what gives you permission to do these." I mulled over his question for a year, and actually changed what I was doing in my quest to answer his question. The next year I brought new work. I told him that I had pondered his question for a year. He was slightly embarrassed. He said he didn't mean anything by it. BTW, Henry Holmes Smith made photos with Karo Syrup. He was a legendary artist and teacher.

Bodhidharma

Bodhidharma went from India to China to fix Buddhism there. He met an emperor who asked him three questions: what merit do I get for doing so much for Buddhism (the answer was "none," for doing things for gain is misdirected), what is the essence of Buddhism (the answer was: "vast emptiness and no essence at all!") and who are you (then)? (the answer was: I do not know). There are many variations of the story. Sometimes the last question was asked after he had left. I think the word "then" is essential to the understanding of the last question. The emperor wondered how this man could be before him if he had no essence.

One wonders why Bodhidharma didn't just see this as a "teachable moment" and explain to the emperor why he could appear yet have no essence. Yet explanation would have been a defilement to understanding. He would have given the emperor a false sense of understanding by saying something that logically probably didn't make sense. (The truth being that we have no essence, yet we appear as if we do.) Instead he went into a cave and meditated for nine years. Did he do so to answer the riddle of who he was? Perhaps.

Note that in his frustration to stay awake while he was meditating he cut off his eyelids. Later, monks discovered tea.

Sixth Grade: Feelings of Inadequacy

Here I am in the sixth grade. I didn't like the way I looked then. So yesterday I sent this picture to my sisters and some friends, and they all said that I was cute. Yes, I'll buy that now. But it sure brought back some negative feelings. I went to bed last night not liking myself at all.

Yesterday's Tricycle's Daily Dharma email (see below) talked about the awareness and acceptance. BB was right when he said that my focus on awareness was simplistic. Acceptance is certainly what one also needs to do as they look in the mirror. I heard today about a tribe where the fathers would say "become who you are." What a great way to nurture, as opposed to those that wish to "make people." In the sixth grade (and long afterward) I wanted to become who my parents wished me to be. Not only did I not especially like that person, but it was not, for me, an achievable goal. They would often talk about others who would have been a perfect son. I only am me.

January 1, 2010
Tricycle's Daily Dharma

Getting Along

Mindfulness practice—a profound method for engaging life’s unpleasant moments—is a powerful tool for removing obstacles and rediscovering happiness in relationships. Mindfulness involves both awareness and acceptance of present experience. Some psychologists, among them Tara Brach and Marsha Linehan, talk about radical acceptance—radical meaning “root”—to emphasize our deep, innate capacity to embrace both negative and positive emotions. Acceptance in this context does not mean tolerating or condoning abusive behavior. Rather, acceptance often means fully acknowledging just how much pain we may be feeling at a given moment, which inevitably leads to greater empowerment and creative change.
- Christopher K. Germer from "Getting Along" (Spring 2006) Read the complete article.

Arrived in Austin

Phoenix

Bob Hope Airport

Dead on New Years Eve

70 years of painting

Great Wayne Thiebald Exhibit

Herbal Reward Yourself

Grandma's Dash

My sisters and me

Giving Directions

Distant Cousin

2 hell in a hand basket

Composition

Venice Body Bldg.

Venice Yellow

For awakening

Pasadena racetrack

Star, retired racehorse

Dash

Wrong foot right shoe

Aunt Linda & the twins

I give up

LACMA

Nordstrom

Shopping is easy when you have no desire to buy.

Jasper Sliding

Niece's Dogs

3 generations

Calif. Xmas Girls

Fortune Cookie

Reading Email

Died and Gone to Dog Heaven

Altadena

Phoenix

Christmas Eve at the airport. What could be better?

Christmas eve to LA via Phoenix. I'm not sure if the people will become Texans right away.

Lunch

So I corrected my cousin who said that it was a cost to a religious person when they fast (i.e. they would be "losing" the opportunity for food, and thus happiness.) I told him that it is a privilege and benefit to fast, because it gets one closer to their path.

Later I asked the Zen priest what he thought and he disagreed with both of us. He said in Zen we try to do things for neither gain or profit.

At lunch with my daughter and wife, I asked my daughter what she thought about my theory that if it gives happiness to do things without gain, then that's a gain. She said, "let me tell you what I've been thinking about." And she went on about something that sounded very interesting, but she'll have to write down what it was all about. One thing I do remember is that (in the book she was reading) people of privilege tend to think more in "bad and good," "right and wrong," etc., while people on the fringes tend to see the whole picture (outsiders?). All for $29.28 at Mothers (I got to pay).

Texas Capital

This is laying on the floor and shooting straight up. We walked 7 miles (the height of Mt. Everest) to take this picture. The security guard told us about becoming a Texas Ranger. You need to pass a test, kill someone in the commission of a crime, and have political connections. There are 123 of them.

What's Going on Hear?

Simplistic and Making People

He thinks that my effort to simplify Zen to the idea of awakening (not really my idea) is simplistic... which I'm sure it is, especially compared to the Tibetan Buddhism that he practiced (s?). I do have a love for simplistic ideas, especially after reading that Bertrand Russell said you should be able to explain anything to a ten year old. I found a lot a college professors who did not agree with that.

On another front, a man is furious with me because I disagree with his idea that we should "make people (good)." The idea scares the daylights out of me. Hitler had a similar idea, all with good intentions. I'd much rather help at providing opportunities, and then let people discover their own paths.

Now back to the painting that is almost finished. Each night I show it to my wife and she says, "how come you are showing me the same painting every night." I try to tell her it is better today than it was yesterday. But only the hairdresser knows the difference.

Saturday

In the midst of dreaming this am, I twisted by neck. Finally found the heat rub and felt my neck burning as I sat two periods of zazen.

Am trying to figure out what it means to "find refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha" which is something Buddhist's say. So as I sit, I say, "I find refuge..." and then words pop into by head.

Today it became clear (as in, tomorrow something else will become clear) that the Dharma, reduced to its bare essential, is simply getting one's information from being awake. From being there, or better yet, here. The Buddha is him who discovered this rather simple and simplistic approach to life. As well, it is that part of us that is awake. And further, it is who we are when we are awake. The Sangha is the cheer leading squad that supports us in our endeavor, starting from within and becoming all things.

So then I tried to eat a carrot, a celery and a cracker with peanut butter for lunch (part of which I shared with my sewing teacher). But a couple of hours later I was starving (as if an American could starve) and ate a 330 calorie bag of peanuts.

When I got home I ate and ate for a few hours... luckily there was neither fried chicken nor chocolate cake around, or I would have gone past my calories for the day. I'm under now for a few weeks.

I watched John Balusi in "the Best of Saturday Night Live" and saw not only what a genius he was but how much his talent relied on his suffering. I heard a wonderful talk today by Brother ChiSi about, among other things, the wisdom that can be derived from suffering.

I'm spending more time than a day now on each painting... will have another done tomorrow. I'm disappointed that people rather comment on Facebook about Joan Lipkin's and my new blog on the State of Marriage. Maybe Facebook is the new blog. What's next?

Is my heart

more important than my pinky?

Red, White, and Blue

It is inevitable...

It is inevitable that one is different than the other.
Horizon is always level.

Another Expedition

Mt. Everest, so to speak.

We made it to the top of Mt. Everest. The descent begins. If you look very very carefully at the photo above you might see us. It is 5.57516129 miles up... unless you retrace your steps because you are lost. That's straight up, as the rocket flies. But figuring a 45 degree slope, it is 7.88446871 miles up. Our next challenge!

In case you doubt whether we really accomplished the walk, I thought I'd prove it with this iphone data and map. Even the scientists in Copenhagen are impressed that such a walk could be accomplished under such challenging conditions.

Otherness

ego
nostril
ear
chin
body

I see him who thinks.

Painting at Maranda Pleasant Gallery

It hasn't sold yet. Opening (and closing) Sat., Dec. 5th, 2009, 6-10 pm

So two and a half

years ago I retired so I could paint with a brush... and, after being swept away by digital drawing, I'm finally back at it. Don't want to do anything now except paint with this little brush of mine. But I might start becoming a little dimensional someday soon after I finish off a dozen little canvases that I bought with a retirement gift card.

Tastin' Austin Air (version 2)

Above is my painting for the exhibit below. Hope someone I know buys it ($100) so that I can visit it. It's a good one!

http://www.powertableaustin.com/marandapleasant/

This magazine from the Blanton Art Museum in Austin was on my desk. The painting is by Matta, done in 1946, the year of my birth. A few days ago I said to myself that I wanted to make a painting this good. Then unconsciously I used the same colors!

Social Change: Is this me?

Social Change

1) Stop problem at root cause.

2) Repair damage.

3) Take steps to prevent it from recurring.

So the group leader asks, "Is this me?" pointing at my drawing. "No," I say, "I've been drawing this since 1959" (actually it was 5th grade, but I was having a senior moment). "Have you perfected it?" he asked. "No, but I have a few years left," I replied.