...she says I need shoes.

My wife looked at my face as we were going to the mall. "This is worse than a root canal for you, isn't it?"

I got to go to the Apple store, and fell in love with the $69 track pad. But didn't get one. Then went to Brookstone and drew a picture on a Boogie Pad. You can write a note on it... and... well, that's it. So I drew a picture and promptly the salesman erased me. I asked him what he thought he was doing. I said I wanted to take a picture of my picture. So I drew another picture.

Oh, the suit. First I went to Men's Warehouse. They had a two for one sale. I knew I didn't want two suits, so I texted my future son-in-law and asked him if he'd want a suit. He texted back, "get two." I texted back, "daughters or suits." 

Then I went to Macy's and another dept. store. One had an expensive suit, and another a cheap suit that didn't fit. 

Then, on a lark (I suspect I was drugged), I went to Nordstrom and bought some suit. We forgot to photograph me with the pants... but here's "it" with jeans.

I sent this picture to my daughter. She asked about the pants. I told the saleslady that my mom always wanted to buy a suit for me. She said my mom will love it. Mom... Mom... do you love it? 

I then saw tears in my wife's eyes... and asked her what was wrong. She said she was so happy I got a suit. 

And now she says I need shoes.