Monday, January 24, 2011


Called Peoria County Clerk today. Said that what I was given was just a souvenir, and that the $25 certificate is in the mail.

In the mail... ha. And why wouldn't they give you something real when you get married. I had a discussion about marriage today with X. They said that marriage isn't something you do in a day, but a lifelong process. So maybe they just give you a souvenir because, like a train ticket, it just allows you to take a journey, rather than being the journey itself. The other thing we talked about was our responsibility for the other. I said that our spouse isn't our child. Aspens are not independent trees... they all share each others roots (I believe). Husbands and wives are different. They don't have to be joined at the hip.

Had another tea class today. We have a new person in the class, a Frenchman named Nicolas. It was fun seeing him struggle in his first lesson (I'm struggling in my 12th lesson), esp. since I struggled for so many years learning French. It almost kept me from getting a college degree.

Maybe others have ideas on marriage that they can share. I do know that I knew nothing when I got married. I had no understanding about having kids either.


Georgia Harper said...

One of the things I have often heard about getting married and about having kids is that if you knew what you were in for, really, you wouldn't do it. Actually, that can't be true, or no one would ever remarry or have more than one child. But I think it points to something true: that a bit of "I don't know" is a good thing.

sheila said...

So glad you're legit. Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet has a fine section on Marriage and another on Children...About "not knowing", I like the title of a Huston Tillotson Prof's talk at the Turkish Raindrop House--Tolerance vs. Epistemological Humility! How can we judge if we don't know"? Also the practice described in the old "Cloud of Unknowing" by an anonymous monk re Christian contemplation.

Kate Freeman said...

Random man at bus stop: You’re cute. You got a man?

Me: Yes, I’m married.

Random man: Happily?

Me: If the answer to that question was no, wouldn’t I have just told you I was single?

Random man: I think you should take my number just in case.

Me: That’s ok. I’m happily married and I don’t have a phone.

Who's in the world?

Xiushan said, "What can you do about the world?" Dizang said, "What do you call the world?"