Chinese Goals for their Kids and Man with Pain

A young parent sent me this article, asking if she should raise her kids like this (in jest, I think). It talked about how Chinese parents insist on both straight "A"s and the study of either the violin or piano. I told her she was doing fine. But that gnawed on me. Don't we want our kids to excel? Then I started thinking that we do have high, but different expectations. I was reminded of Maslow's characteristics of self-actualizing people. So maybe all parents want their kids to succeed, but just in different ways. And maybe not. I've seen parents who don't want their kids to have more than they do, or to be any smarter. It is sad.

A man started talking to my neighbor and I this morning at our Mexican dive. After hearing me talk, he asked if I came from Illinois (which I did). As the conversation continued, he told us how 2010 was the worst year ever for him. I said, "maybe you'll have a year that is even worst than that." "No," he said, "I had 5 operations last year." And they were heavy duty operations, we soon discovered. I told him about about a much loved Zen priest, Darlene Cohen, who practiced with her pain for many years and helped others to do so. She had died yesterday, teaching others right up to the end. I asked the man if he appreciated life any more now after having these operations. He was caught off guard and said that he had not thought about that.

What would Buddha do?

One of my sisters gave me a "What would Buddha do?" hat for my birthday. Earlier this evening I read a story about an interaction with Buddha's 8 year old son and Buddha. Buddha returned home after his 8 year journey and his son went after him for his inheritance. The son kept asking over and over again, until finally the Buddha saw that this was one persistent kid. So he invited the kid to follow him. The kid, leaving a palace of riches, had no idea what he was getting into. As we have no idea about a book by looking at its cover.

So 33 years ago we had this daughter who decided to get married (she's the book that doesn't quite look like what we imagined when we decided to have another kid). When my wife and I got married, we went down to city hall and tied the knot. Then we went out with our "witnesses" for a drink. I had a gin and tonic, which I suppose was my drink of choice in those days. Today my daughter showed me the colors of the tablecloths and napkins that will be at her wedding dinner. I saw a consummate craftswoman reminding me of two PBS programs on TV last night on the making of Steinway pianos and a second on making fine guitars. This kid of mine was intent on making the perfect wedding. And my wife and I volunteered to assemble the wedding invitations (believe me, it is more complicated than stuffing envelopes). I'm not complaining... just wondering if she's trying to make up for the wedding we didn't have.

This morning she told me her car wouldn't start, so I removed the battery and took it to a garage to be tested. It was bad, so I found the receipt from Sams. Well, the problem was that I was not a Sams member. So I joined Sams (in my mind on a trial basis) to see how they compared to Costco. I had been a Sams member for years in St. Louis but in Austin joined Costco. Costco is thriving, bustling, and has name brands for many of their items. Sams appeared to be 1 breath away from the grave. I couldn't believe the difference in two warehouse stores blocks away. Perhaps in other places Sams is better, but the north store in Austin is sad indeed.

Hey, I found cans of pinto beans which, added to some homemade carrot soup, spinach, and brown rice made a delicious dinner (with a little salt, pepper, and hot sauce). And I got the new battery, without even a carrying strap. So can I complain?

So what would the Buddha do in today's world? Would he read mail? Would he drive a car? Would he join Sams? I know two people here who have taken vows of poverty. And they are very peaceful souls. They don't need Sams. They just need enough food for the next meal. And the rest of us? Our needs extend way beyond the warehouse stores.

More worry...

My friend wrote that China becoming more innovative than America is a problem worth worrying about. I disagreed (I've pretty much disagreed with all his worries for about 40 years).

Imagine if Texas was more innovative that California... would we worry about that? We should celebrate innovation wherever it occurs, and find what we can do that no one else does (worry?) Besides, the competition is always healthy. When Russia was so far ahead in science didn't that spur us on.

Look how Paris was the center of the art world not so many years ago, until New York and California showed up on the map. Let's hope innovation is alive and well, where ever it is. Worrying is pathological.

Kim

Full story at http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/01/11/ces_ceo_confab/print.html

"The leaders of Cisco, GE, and Xerox are worried that the US is losing
its competitive edge, and that it's high time to stop grandstanding and
do something about it.

"I'm optimistic, but I think that's partly because that's in my DNA, but
I think we're at an inflection point, unfortunately," warned Cisco
chairman and CEO John Chambers, who shared a panel with the similarly
titled Ursula Burns of Xerox and Jeffrey Immelt of GE at the Consumer
Electronics Show in Las Vegas.

That inflection point, in Chambers' view, refers to whether the US will
go forward or slip back, because the country is not only being
challenged by other economies, but also because in its education and
immigration policies, it's shooting itself in the foot.

"I would not give us such a good grade as I'd like to see in terms of
being an innovator five to ten years out," said Chambers. "We're still
leading, but our leadership is shrinking."

Immelt agreed. "As a country, the rest of the world is moving faster
than we are," he said. "The world's not standing still; China's not
standing still."

Forgive me, Mother, for I have sinned.

Sometime in the 70s I went to my parents' house for Thanksgiving dinner. They lived in Chicago and we lived in St. Louis. After dinner we left to drive back to St. Louis. My mom was very hurt because I didn't say thank you, so she, seeing this as a "teachable moment," had Marshall Fields send me a copy of Amy Vanderbilt's and Emily Post's etiquette books. I thought that they were silly books, so I returned them to Fields and had her charge account credited. Now I was really ungrateful in her mind.

In my mind, I had led myself to believe, all these years, that my actions were justified because I was in tremendous pain due to an impacted wisdom tooth.

Today I went to a talk about saying "yes." Do you know people who say "yes" and others who say "no." Who do you want as friends? (The speaker didn't say that... I did.) Anyway, in the talk we were asked to describe a situation where we had said "yes" and I thought of how I said "no" to my mom by not thanking her. If I could have, I would have called her right then and apologized.

So mother, this wasn't the only time in my life that I wasn't nice to someone. I once hurt (euphemism) a goldfish too... and I threw a rock at Rodney and hit him in the face. Each time (I wish that was the extent of my bad deeds) I came up with elaborate rationalizations to justify my actions. The goldfish was the victim of a scientific experiment, Rodney was playing with us and we didn't want him to, and my tooth hurt. See... I did nothing wrong. Or so I thought.

I've mentioned before the wonderful aphorism by the Zen teacher Reb Anderson: "walk on the Earth as if it is your mother's face." I had first heard that a few years ago... but today, after the dharma talk, I tried to do it... literally. Wow, it is hard. For one thing, you need to focus on each step. And for another, you need to step very gently.

So where do I go from here? The goldfish is long gone. My friend who participated with me in its demise is now an attorney or banker in Chicago. I could write him and ask him if he even remembers our "experiment." Rodney is an attorney, I believe, in Portland, Oregon. Dare I contact him or would he sue me for child abuse? And my mom... she's mostly scattered in the Pacific... though a little bit of her is here and there... but it is basically too late.

The Earth. She still needs some gentle footsteps. Maybe I can focus on that?

LACMA Eggleston Exhibit

William Eggleston was the first color photographer embraced by MOMA, and therefore the photography world. I went through the exhibit quickly in LA yesterday while my son, three boys (two his) and my wife patiently waited on the grass outside. I found some terrific work, though nowhere near the greatness of Lee Friedlander who he tends to imitate (except in color). He is able to make images about both light and color, and often makes extraordinary images of the ordinary. I have a feeling that the book is better than the prints, that tended to be so varied they didn't hang together very well. The exception was one room of lightjet prints that were quite mellow. Oh, the picture above I did in the giant elevator as I left the Eggleston exhibit.

Outrage

Here is a photo of a modeling of a 1932 Highway Patrol officer. I'm not sure what he has to do with this post, but cops and violence seem to be partners (cops "fight" violence).

Years ago I had a discussion with a relative about Social Security. I tried to make the point that it is a ripoff. Far more money should come to retirees given what they contribute. My evidence is my state of Missouri retirement pension, where essentially the same donation renders many times the benefits. My relative's point was that because Social Security was not designed as a pension program, and it should not be compared to one. What was interesting to me is that when I shared his comments with a friend he was quite upset, saying that if he had known that this was a public forum he would have become far angrier in his comments.

Jump to earlier today when a neighbor is outraged about Democrats' expenditures. I'm sure that there is some truth to his conjectures. But I'm curious about the outrage and anger. What is that about? Why do we need that? We complain that some in the Middle East are so intolerant, and yet we may be modeling the same behavior. No wonder wars prevail. We can't respect the "other side."

Pumps, Kill the Congressmen, and Sarah Palin

My dear friend send me this email below. Just as I was going to sit down and write about whether or not it was Sarah Palan who pulled the trigger in Tucson... And why Sarah is going to be the Republican presidential candidate, I received her email. But poor Sarah (rich Sarah?) will have to wait.

I've heard the below before—that congressman get some of what they are dishing out. I think it is a terrible idea to make the congressman's job less attractive. We need to give them the same benefits commensurate with the jobs they could be getting in the private sector. Otherwise they will not be congressman, which is at a pay cut from other jobs they could get.

But why, you ask, should health care not be the same for the rich and the poor? Isn't that a slippery slope? What about housing? What about education? Yes, it would be nice if everyone had the best of everything. But the best of everything is a limited resource. So it can either be given out as some chance operation (who would agree to that?) or to those with more funds.

There is another reason why pensions, health care, housing, food, education should not all be equal for all. We'd be limiting the incentives for many to get education and become productive. At a certain point, I stayed at my job because it offered health care. When I was offered a number of years of health care if I left, I did so.

Last, but not least, social security was not intended to be a retirement program. It was intended to supplement savings and other retirement programs. It is not enough for most to live on. Be hard on the congressman and we'll have worse leaders. Is that what you want?

Oh, if you are wondering about the photo above... it made me think of soldiers or congressman, waiting to give energy to its constituents. Kill the messenger and your car won't run.

Email:

This is very eye-opening - and it seems to make sense.It's certainly worth thought and perhaps passing on, as was intended.

Subject: Congressional Reform Act of 2011.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure.

I'm asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message.

Congressional Reform Act of 2011

1. Term Limits. 18 years.

A. Three Six-year Senate terms

B. Nine Two-year House terms

C. Two Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms

D. One Six-year Senate term and six Two-year House terms

2. No Tenure / No Pension.

A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they leave office.

3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security. All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people.

4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.

5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people -- or allows all Americans to be covered by the same health care system as the Congress.

7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

8. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective 1/1/11.

The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen. Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work.

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people (in the U.S.) to receive the message. Maybe it is time.

THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!!!!! If you agree with the above, pass it on. If not, just delete

You are one of my 20+. Please keep it going.

Elvis Caddie

I asked someone on the other side of the political fence to articulate the difference between the two parties. He said that "them" are greedy capitalist pigs. As we talked further, it seemed to him that some want to redistribute wealth and others want to put it under their mattresses.

Tonight my wife and I went to Mothers. The grocery stores were closed so we didn't have much choice. I started thinking about the owner(s) of Mothers (who I do not know) as a greedy individual who wants to make an extra buck on New Year's day. But wow!, what pleasure this man brings to so many in Austin. And we drove there in a car. Another creation by a capitalist pig. And another "luxury." Hence my admiration for those who can make a buck. They feed their kids and enable mine to go to the store. Clue me in why some of their names are synonymous with sin.

I'm now on the neighborhood steering committee. We recommend to the building commission opinions on petitions to be given a variance. Someone wants to build a room above their garage. They have already maxed out on the square footage of living space on their property. I'm struck by the arguments that have flown across our elist all day. Some are in favor, and some are opposed. Each only mentions arguments that supports their side. Do they want to find the truth, or do they want to just persuade someone to jump onto their bandwagon? I might have mentioned before that some Indian tribe puts a pumpkin on the table when they disagree. Then they all describe all the sides they see in the pumpkin.

Elvis and his giant cars? A capitalist pig? The king of rock? Like many many capitalist pigs, he gave very generously to a variety of organizations. The list is at Graceland.

Disaster

One of my neighbors, describing himself as a conservative Republican, says that our government is criminal because they spent so much money. I'm not in favor of big gov., or of a spending gov., but I refuse to point the finger. I wrote him:

Responsibility is a funny thing. Imagine that all of us have unlimited power... and that we use only a small portion of it. Anything that happens is, in a sense, our responsibility because we could have done more. We could have persuaded people to put on the breaks, to vote for different candidates, etc. Pointing the finger sometimes need to be done in the mirror. Do you know what I mean?

Another neighbor was shocked by my assertion that most people could get along fine without reading, and that most of their information comes via video. I believe that reading is a skill that was developed because we didn't have video, and now that we do, we don't need it. That is, most of us. Students can now make it through k-16 without reading a book. See this article: What is the Worth of Words?

This is not an argument about what I'd like to be true, but rather one that I observe to be true. We spend countless education hours trying to convince kids to learn to read. They don't practice because they get so much more on television. Why not teach them instead to become critical watchers? Wouldn't our time be better spent?

The same is true with algebra. A waste of time for most. And trying to learn algebra keeps so many from graduating college. Who uses algebra? Hardly anyone. Do I love algebra? Yes, but so what. Why not teach kids how to interpret statistics? Or to learn how much they spend when they don't pay their credit card off every month.

Have I stepped on enough sacred cows for today?

Relic

The priest was complaining about the MAC that he needed to use, saying that it was not intuitive. He felt like different computers are made for different types of people. I guess he is right.

I heard something today about a Buddhist choosing flowers over weeds, and that was buddha-nature. So then for dinner I ordered a piece of salmon over rice and my wife had veges over rice, and we split the salmon and the veges. So I chose salmon over weeds, I guess. Or maybe I chose weeds. I don't know.

We went to California last week partly to dispose of my father's ashes. I thought it would be easy. Just find some secluded pier and dump them. Well, besides the illegal nature of the act, nothing is secluded in the San Deigo area. So we split the ashes with one of my sisters (the other one wanted no part of them) and brought them home.

TSA asked to hand check my bag with the ashes. I told him when he asked for the bag that my dad was in there. He said he figured as much. My wife told me to thank him because he handled the ashes so respectfully.

But why didn't I just ask my dad what he wanted done with his ashes. All he said was that he didn't want anything religious because he didn't want to exclude anyone.

We have a dog now (babysitting my daughter and future son-in-law's pup). This is a dog to die for if you want a low maintenance pup. She just sleeps and mopes around a little. Hardly barks unless she's in the yard and some squirrel or cat comes around. Obama was looking at this breed (labradoodle) but ended up with a Portuguese Water dog.

Take care, and good night.

Quote 2 'member

Katagiri Roshi (Jikai Dainin Katagiri (片桐 大忍, January 19, 1928—March 1, 1990)) said, "This is why the universe is Buddha." This is why there is nothing we can do that doesn’t matter, or that we can do carelessly. This is why there is no place where we can spit, no place that we can just disregard. Everything is within this universe that is Buddha."

The priest tonight was introducing a class for chidens (altar cleaners) and was explaining that the practice of altar cleaning is to pay attention. The monk asked the Buddha for three things he should remember. The Buddha answered, "pay attention, pay attention, pay attention."

It is especially important to pay attention, because if you put the hot ashes in the wrong place you could burn down the temple.

I took my first Pilates lesson today. It is meant to strengthen one's core. For about $5000 a year you can have a strong core. I asked what the core was... if it was part of my anatomy... and she said no. Interesting to spend money on nothing. She said that Pilates was in a German internment camp... which turned out to be in England, though there was one at 48th and Ellis in Chicago, very close to where I lived, and where Mr. Obama lived (and Mohammad Ali too).

I'm curious whether an organization could become completely transparent. No closed door meetings. The Buddha taught the 4 elements of right speech. I think they probably apply today. If one follows these guidelines, everything they say can be tacked on a bulletin board.

1. Abstain from false speech; do not tell lies or deceive.
2. Do not slander others or speak in a way that causes disharmony or enmity.
3. Abstain from rude, impolite or abusive language.
4. Do not indulge in idle talk or gossip.

And, especially do not say anything about someone that you wouldn't say to their face. And taking that further, that you wouldn't say to the face of your daughter-in-law's mother. Still further, and more difficult, don't think it. And arrive home from a rush-hour drive with a smile on your face.

Game Over? We'll see.

 

Too young, too old. Is one ever the right age? I remember, still in high school, when I was at a coffee house in Greenwich Village. I tried to hide the fact that I was only 16, and about as unsophisticated as they come.  And now, almost 50 years later, I go to a coffee house in Austin and feel like a freak who has come come back from the dead. Especially not drinking, I felt very much "out of it." 

So what is it to "belong?" I was always the youngest one. I had two older sisters. I started college when I had just turned 17. I was young. The youngest faculty in my first few jobs. Young young young. Then I went to sleep for 50 years and now I'm old old old.

They (the kids) look at me like I don't understand. Like I'm hopelessly loss, Dang, most of them weren't even born in 1980, some not born before 1990. And they look at me like I'm a dinosaur, apparently with some minuscule brain and a lack of experience in the real world. 

Game over? We'll see.

Pie

Kids and grandma/great-aunt

LA parking lot... many different cars.

 

I wonder sometimes if I can love one thing and not another. Can I really love the flower and not the weed? Can I love one person and not the other? Sure, you say, "I hate weeds and evil people." But aren't they both part of the whole, completely interdependent? When I want things to be different than they are (which really never happens) I am always disappointed in them. When I want things to be as they are, I am always satisfied.

The toughest one seems to be political and religions differences. Why do many have such disdain for those of other persuasions. Last night I was reminded about how the Catholics used to preach that Jews should be hated because they crucified Jesus. I'm glad that "officially" that has stopped. But the shooting of the Democrat in Arizona yesterday is of the same elk. The two party system is a wonderful check and balance for our ambitious plans. And different religions are suited for different people and temperaments.

Calif.

Truth

Texas Capital

Oval office

LBJ library on tour with Burmese monks

Mt. Bonnell

"We've righted a wrong."

“We righted a wrong,” said Senator Joseph I. Lieberman, the independent from Connecticut and a leader of the effort to end the ban. “Today we’ve done justice.” 

If only it was so easy to "righted a wrong." What about compensation for those who were either kicked out of the military, and not allowed into the military for coming out of the closet? That would be closer to my idea of "righted a wrong."

Great move from the senate, though they had no choice as it would have been done otherwise by the courts and they would have lost an opportunity to get votes.

What else in our society has "don't ask, don't tell." How many are tortured by the "don't ask, don't tell" message? How about couples who don't express to each other dissatisfaction with their sex lives? How about people who have to hide fetishes that don't hurt others? How about so many secrets we need to keep?

Maybe this will be the start of more openness. The other night a friend talked for the first time about being trained as a hypnotist. It is like a breath of fresh air when someone feels safe enough to reveal a part of who they are.

I propose a new slogan, "don't need to ask, I'll tell."

Less Taxes for the Rich: a Jerk's Perspective

A lot seems to be missing in most of the discussions I read about "cutting or increasing" taxes for the rich.

We have decided as a society that the rich should pay more taxes. We have a progressive tax system, where the more one makes the higher percentage of their income goes to Uncle Sam... and thereby increasing the amount twice (once because it is a percentage of a larger sum, and once because the percentage itself is higher). The rich pay plenty. Could they "afford" more? Probably. Should they pay more?

In reality, the rich have many tax breaks, like being able to inherit assets without paying for the assets' appreciation.

And even with these breaks, 85% of the taxes are paid by the top 25% of the population. As the kids say, "is that fair?" And as you see in the graph above, the "rich" are paying a higher percentage of their income as well. Some say they are being taxed to death. 

Merry Christmas and Rohatsu at Costco

I received a second inspirational email from M, who had just sat for a good part of a week honor the "awakening" of the Buddha. Yesterday I overdid it working on some shelves and paid for it today with barely being able to walk (I'm better now). I needed to go to Costco and was lucky to find a parking space. It was gridlock everywhere. The aisles weren't quite wide enough for the holiday crowd. I decided this was a good place to "practice (zen)," especially since I didn't sit the usual couple of periods at the temple as I usually do on Saturday morning (it was closed). I'm not sure if it was the Aleve, or the muscle relaxant, or that I'm making some kind of progress... but I was able to meander through the store as if it was a quiet forest. By the end of the journey my back even felt better.

As I left I heard the man at the door who makes sure you aren't stealing saying cheerfully to each customer,  "Merry Christmas." I wondered if this "au revoir" was slightly skewed toward those celebrating the birth of Jesus. I decided to beat him to the draw with a cheerful "happy holidays" (and maybe make a hint that he could be more inclusive). He upped the cheerfulness to another level saying, "Merry Christmas, captain," and touched me on the shoulder. Captain had good ring to it (better than "you're a jerk"), especially remembering that Edward Steichen, who was a captain in the navy, was called "captain."

King Corn

Just finished seeing the documentary, King Corn (available via Netflix/instant watching). Wow. So glad I don't eat foods processed with corn syrup. I told my neighbor that the Mayans had died from tooth decay from the corn they ate. According to my friend in St. Louis who knows everything, I was wrong. But another civilization is killing itself with corn and "they is us."

We've increased corn production over four times from our grandparents' production. In the process, we've created a product devoid of nutritional value. Corn is basically made for corn syrup, which is the basis of the fast food/soda industry. Most processed foods contain corn syrup. In the last 30 years we've increased the sugar in our diet by 30%, increasing at the same time obesity and diabetes.

Who finances the genocide? Yes, it is your friendly, loving protector, Uncle Sam. It would not be profitable to grow corn if it wasn't for farm subsidies. The cost per acre is greater than the return, until the subsidies step in. Before 1970 farmers were paid to not produce. Now they are paid to produce more than we use.

The American Indians had a good nutritional product with their corn. What we now have is sugar, devoid of nutrition.

I'm able to not eat anything made with corn syrup. I even buy a new ketchup that isn't made with corn syrup. Vote against corn syrup by not buying foods processed with it. It will save your life and those you love.

This is a public service announcement!

Quantifying Compassion

Martin in St. Louis is their non-smoking guru. He wrote an email about efforts by the casinos to allow smoking in the casino tavern. He mentioned that smoke would be worse for the employees than the customers.

Something didn't sound right about that. I started comparing the compassion one might feel about one thing vs. another. Imagine a mother loses one child, and another loses two. Do you have more compassion for one of the mothers than for the other? And suppose your friend loses her wedding ring (not intentionally). Do you grieve less for that than for something else? Or take joy. Do we really have levels of joy? Or are joy and compassion states that we put ourselves in? Places where we feel for the other  to our limits.

Back to the employees vs. customers. It is conceivable that an employee might be injured more than a customer, but because of the number of customers vs. the number of employee, the total injury for each group might not be so different. I think we'd want to advocate equally for both groups, feeling empathy to each as they coat their lungs with non-friendly vapors and particulate matter.

Is Forced Health Care Constitutional?

This is certainly a slippery slope. We now mandate education and social security. One could ask, is health care just another thing that is good for us, and therefore everyone needs to do it? Or, might education and social security be the new villains, with the Supreme Court deciding that no service/product/insurance can be mandated according to the Constitution. Time will tell.

I'm a Jerk

My last post had a comment, "You're a jerk." Imagine the freedom that assessment might give someone to know that they are a jerk, and, better yet, to learn that the secret is out. No more pretending. Yes, I'm a jerk. How else can I explain my countless episodes of jerky behavior?

On the other side of the coin, we are all buddhas, whatever that might mean. We just need to awaken to who we really are, which in my case is a jerk (I guess).

I had two interesting interactions yesterday.

I went to a doctor's office and started to sign in. But no sooner had I put the date down, the nurse called me. So I put the pen down and went over to her desk. Another nurse came by, and kept looking at me and at the sign-in list. Finally she said, "you didn't sign in." I looked at the sheet and then told her that as soon as I was called I dropped the pen and came. "Did you learn that from your mother... to always do as you are told?" "No," I went, "my mother would turn in her grave if she knew I was so obedient. But then again, she's not in a grave, she's in the ocean... that is, most of her. The rest we are going to put in the ocean with my dad's ashes two days after Christmas." "Why the ocean?" she said. "Well, they loved the ocean. They'd walk by it every day."

Then I went to get a haircut with my barber, Phyllis. The young kid before me didn't have enough money to pay for his haircut. He was two bucks short. Phyllis told him to go and get some money from an ATM. He wanted to give her what he had now, but she said no, she'll wait for the whole amount.

As my haircut proceeded, I noted that the young kid had not returned. I asked Phyllis if she always gets paid in these cases. "No," she said, "a couple of times I probably didn't." And then she added that sometimes she just forgets. She said that the man upstairs takes care of the people who don't pay.

I looked at the ceiling and wondered if there was a second story I didn't know about. Then I realized what she was saying... that God makes everything just in the end.

So I asked her, "what if the young kid met a starving man and gave the money to him. Would that be OK?" "NO," she answered, "that would not be right! But then, God would take care of him if he did that."

So a month ago I was told by the Jesuit priest and Buddhist teacher Robert Kennedy that "God does not interfere" and now by Phyllis the barber that "God makes things right." Is it possible that both are true?

P.S. As I was leaving Phyllis the young man returned with the money. God is off the hook. Or maybe not. I forgot to ask the young man if he had found any starving men to give the money.

More Notations

I read the other day in Steve Hagen's Buddhism, Plain and Simple, "But how can you be truly happy when you have a death sentence on your head?" This is the theme of this issue of JustThis, Austin Zen Center's Zen journal. What I find amazing is that a part of me believes it is the most important question and yet another part doesn't care about my death sentence. Do we hate a romantic interlude because it is going to end? Of course not. William Blake wrote, "...But he who kisses the joy as it flies/ Lives in eternity's sunrise."

I have known people so fearful of death that they are afraid to live. My grandpa said he didn't want any more dogs because it broke his heart when they died. (He lost his wife and true love after only a couple of years of marriage.) Perhaps there is a limit to how much one is willing to mourn.

So I asked my wife this question and she said that you just have to live in the moment. I wondered if this is a delusion, ignoring the elephant in the room. Is there another way? Can we revere the elephant and revere the moment at the same time? I don't want to forget that impermanence is keenly married to death.

On another front, I was glad today that I voted for Obama. I thought he did a good job acting in the best interest of the country even if it meant not being the pawn of the democrats. In the end, the countries' votes are probably more valuable to him than the democrats favor, but still, it was a good move. I'm always in favor of tax cuts too, especially since it is the only way that government will be smaller.

Merit... not!

The story above, about King Sirisanghabodhi, tells of generosity at its extreme. The former king is given lunch by a man who tells him that there is a bounty on the former King's head. "Great," the former King says, "you can take my head to the new king and pay yourself for this lunch, and then use the remainder as a generous gift from me." What someone will do for merit!

Imagine a letter from your favorite charity, asking for your head, rather than some manageable sum of money!

Yet Bodhidharma was not so generous with Emperor Wu. He told the poor fellow that he would get no merit for all the good things he had done, because he had done them for merit. What an insult this must have been for the Emperor!

So we are supposed to be good, but not for any gain. How different from our Western culture where we tithe to improve our chances for a good eternal life. What priest would say, "give generously, and know that nothing good will come from your generosity"?

Various Notations

A number of issues are rattling around in my mind.

1) In the Costco magazine, a lawyer wrote about how it is reasonable to default on one's mortgage if your house is worth less than what you owe. One of his arguments I had not thought of: that banks do the same. Of course, this is the two wrongs make a right argument, isn't it? Another person wrote a conflicting piece, pointing out the credit problems one has after defaulting... and how, in some states like Florida, the banks can go after you for a number of years.

2) My neighbor wrote me again about sinning and forgiveness. I'm curious if these concepts, over the long run, have produced more compassionate and/or happy human beings. If so, does that justify us holding on to such concepts? If not, should we dispense of them?

3) This week is, in Buddhist temple land, Rohatsu. It is the celebration of Buddha's awakening, the word some like to use for enlightening.  Good Buddhists sit for the week. I'm planning to sit a little each day, but not from 6 am to 9 pm. Today is the anniversary of the passing of Suzuki Roshi, the priest who came to America in 1959 and founded the San Francisco Zen Center. The difference between awakening and enlightening is that the former refers to one discovering who they are while the later suggests discovering something external.

4) I've been thinking about dualism in a number of contexts. Here's an article I found on the Buddhist perspective on dualism. I like that the earth and the sky meet at the horizon. A Zen friend is developing a course in Zen birdwatching, where "being with the birds" will be encouraged rather than "identification." I'm starting to realize how much of my thinking is "either or" which keeps me from hearing the birds. Does that make sense?