Mexican Alameda Museum

San Antonio

Two Trees, Two Shadows

Two Trees, Two Shadows by Kim Mosley, 1980

In the old days, I'd take pictures on my walks. Then I'd come back to my studio and paint on them. Now I sit and look at a wall. Tell me, Avalokiteshvara, which is more productive? Oh... this piece is being auctioned at and for the Visual Studies Workshop in Rochester, N.Y., where I studied in the 70s and exhibited in the 80s. Email me (mr@kimmosley.com) if you wish to bid on it and I'll give you more info.

Last day for bandage.

Left Wimberly for Burmese sticky rice festival

Illuminated Feeding Doe / My Shady Past

 

I found this at Goodwill. It reminded me of http://www.wimp.com/kineticsculpture/ 

And then, at dinner, I heard about a Texas who shot a buck he saw on the side of the road "because he couldn't help himself." He received a big fine because it was not hunting season.

I'm investigating some of my more shady past. Fascinating to hear about something all your life and then, thanks to the digitizing of newspapers and some energetic relatives, finally to be able to read about it. I'm sure, if I had any pride, I'd keep this all a secret. But I guess I don't.

So here it is: Sam Sax, Arson Trust

Looking at Kim

Tomorrow will be a calm day, won't it?

Finally today, on the second try, got to speak to the help desk. Presto, I was monkeying with the printer while I was waiting and the darn thing fixed itself. I basically couldn't claim any issues except that their printer was a piece of junk and I've spent more time on it than any other printer in any of my lifetimes.

There was an issue with a cartridge from OfficeMax that was showing 20% full, so I exchanged it for another which was also 20% full so I asked to exchange it for another, but by Brother rather than remanufactured. This one also measured 20%. I didn't think I should pay any more for the third cartridge and they did... so I called the district manager and he told them to give it to me. I did finally figure out that it was the printer, and not the cartridges that only 20% full... so I called OfficeMax and told them I was wrong.

Then tonight a full-moon ceremony to celebrate the full-moon, the end of the Chinese New Year celebration, and last, but not least, a renewal of vows. We talked about "no anger" which was hard for me because I'm not too good at anger... though I do get angry sometimes when I'm talking to a recorded message and they don't stop and listen. My wife asked me why I was yelling. It was pretty funny... and sad.

Tomorrow will be a calm day, won't it?

Eureka and Sisyphus

Some of you have heard of the myth of Sisyphus, the original existential hero, who angered the Gods when he begged to come back to earth for a short visit... and then refused to return to the afterlife.

Today my job was to call computer companies, and just when they were able to help me on a couple of issues, the iPhone would drop the call. I'd hold for about 10 minutes, then be told that I needed a Mac specialist. Then another 10 minutes. If I was lucky, I would start a conversation with the Mac specialist. If I wasn't, I'd be dropped after another 10 minutes.

Though most of this holding on occurred in the office of a Zen temple, I was not in a Zen mood, nor were the two priests in the room, one of who needed me to be done with my task. They were talking in their normal (somewhat loud) voices, and I was trying to understand people whose second language was English.

Finally I tried another solution and it worked. Yea! It is not my favorite solution, but, by God, it works. So tomorrow I can go look at ART and hopefully all will be happy.

Yea. I was much luckier that Sisyphus, who was given an eternal job as punishment of pushing a boulder up a hill each day, only for the boulder to fall down each evening. Hope no boulders will be at the bottom of the hill tomorrow.

Zen Dilemma

Saturday I heard a dharma talk, where the speaker said that if we saw things clearly, we would see them "as they are." I've mentioned before that Suzuki called this, "as it is." At first his students, confident in their native English tongue, would correct him. But he would insist, "as it is." To me, this designates that there is only one thing, and therefore "it" is the correct word.

In any case, I wondered if a number of people all looked in the same direction and all saw things as they are (or as it is), would they all see the same thing? I asked the speaker. He didn't think so. I also wondered if they would make art if they got rid of their ego. He said, no, he didn't mean that and sometime he'd give a talk about why the ego is good. There is the story about all these photographers who photographed the same mountain from the same vantage point and all the photos looked completely different.

So we have the world we construct, and then we have the world we see when we are not constructing. How can it be that we'd all see the non-constructed real world differently? What would account for the differences?

Stepping Out on my Wife

She's out of town so I'm at Pokejo's. Some of you might wonder what happened to my vegan sensibility. Well, it has been diminishing. First there was the rationalization that the meat eats veges, or eats animals that eat veges, so when you eat meat you are really just eating veges.

Then, not quite satisfied with that as an excuse, I decided that I could eat meat if I was sensitive to the fact that these creatures had give their life for me (as Christ did?). But soon I was enjoying the meat and forgetting about the compassion.

Later I was noticing that I was feeling better eating meat. Is that why the Dalai Lama's doc prescribed meat for his patient?

And tonight my wife and I went to dinner, and I had a vege bento plate (salad, vege tempuri, brown rice, vege egg rolls, and miso soup. Yum! I had been a little sick of the vege stuff... and needed a break. Glad she's back home (wife and veges).

Trigger Thumb Surgery

Hand is identified.


Surgeon signs his work. Before cutting, but after the numbing shot.


Voila! It bends.


He said it works 3000 out of 3000 times. So far, so good... yea!

Two-timing Tabby, Facing the wall, and Thich Nhat Hanh

As I ponder whether anything can be in two places at once, I received a couple of emails today, both to elists. The first was from the Rosedale (Austin) elist:

Are we sharing a brown tabby, neutered male, fourteen pounds? Sits like a buddha cat when grooming; mews rather than meows? Can't figure out how he could be so fat when you have him on a diet? I have a cat of this description who disappears some nights and some days, with no pattern to his comings and goings. Might he have been missing yesterday in the day time, but at your house overnight? Was your tabby home safe and sound the night last week when the rain storm blew in, but then disappeared the next morning to go missing in action during the snow storm? I know my cat is capable of such duplicity; he abandoned his previous owners from across the street and adopted us three years ago.

If you're suspicious your cat is two-timing you, contact me off list and we can compare cat notes.

and the second, from the Missouri Zen Center:

When you are facing the wall, it will not matter where you are."

Then at lunch, a priest talked about Thich Nhat Hanh, who is very difficult to visit, and who meditates 14 hours a day. She said that he doesn't see himself as somewhere, but rather everywhere. Is this what quantum physics is all about?

P.S. This was all spurred on by William, the scientist, who was in Canada when he witnessed my wedding in Peoria.

I just received an email from William, thanking me for the .pdf I sent him of the document he signed and said that he'd show it to his friends as evidence of his past life. He didn't explain how he could have signed it without being there. I'm assuming he decided that he was mistaken about being in Canada.

Ruining the good with the bad.

Sometimes it isn't just good enough. She found a gentle skilled dentist to do a crown/root canal. She found out that she didn't need the root canal from his recommended endodontist, And he charged less than the old dentist. Good, right?

Then she discovered, too late, that she could have saved a little by paying by check instead of a charge card. Always ask if they give you a discount for a check if you can afford it. So what should have been a situation for great rejoicing was somewhat hampered by regret.

Is there ever a situation that isn't like this? What is that about? Just when you fall in love with a restaurant the priest tells you that he walked by and saw them sweeping the tables with a floor broom (I couldn't go back.) How many situations are like that? Something you know about someone that keeps you from liking them. Or you can't enjoy a donut (it was free too) because it had a lot of calories.

Are you just suppose to overlook the bad? Or not get attached to the good? I'm stuck... just realizing what a bad habit this is... and not knowing how to change.  Any solutions here?

I gave at the office...

So someone comes to your door asking you to give to United Way. You say, "I gave at the office." If the volunteer is a trusting soul, they will think you gave to United Way at the office. But suppose you meant it a little differently. Suppose you make bread. Is that giving at the office?

Yes, even if you only make bread to make money. You are performing a great service to humanity by providing people the opportunity for good food. Buddhists call this "right livelihood." See Jack Kornfield's description here.

The discussion about whether companies should be charitable is rather superfluous if the company is producing a good or service that benefits others (or even themselves). What might benefit others is open for interpretation. Though Michelle Obama (and Kim too) might disagree, some might determine that donuts benefit beings (perhaps by alleviating suffering). In any case, most businesses earn money by making our lives better. They are "charitable." No, it doesn't "hurt" them when they give. But why is that necessary? I'm thrilled that Apple makes an Iphone. Did they do it because they love me, or because they feel sorry for me? Of course not. It was just "greed." And I love them for it.

The social responsibility of business is to increase its profits.

Some take this famous quote by Milton Friedman as "infamous." They think, how could anyone be so crass?  Is it ok to make a profit and pollute?

Friedman was not intimidated by these arguments. It is bad for profits to ruin one's reputation. And polluting would do that. His primary argument is that we usually become shareholders in a company so that we'll earn a good rate of return. When we want to give to charity, we do that as a separate action.

Here's a chart (from the Economist) showing how various countries chime in on Friedman's mantra. It was done by asking well-education high wage earners in each country.

I wonder (much more difficult to determine) what their actions would reflect. Often we don't do as we say we do.

If you'd ask Friedman about whether businesses actually benefit society best when when they make a profit, he'd nod to the affirmative, indicating that's the beauty of the free market. Goods and services are created, innovation occurs, jobs are created, and everyone is better off.

Happy 100 birthday, Ronald Reagan (who carried Capitalism and Freedom) in his coat pocket.

Ms. Annie... Marriage on the Rocks again

Two days ago I was married to Linda, yesterday Ann, and then last night we decided it would be Ms. Annie. If people change, why shouldn't their names change too?

Then today I received an email from the one living witness. He said that he couldn't have been a witness because he hadn't arrived in Illinois from Canada until the next month in September 1969 (we were married Aug. 4th).

Today, in a dharma talk, the priest talked about how, in sub-atomic physics, a particle can be in two places at once. I'm assuming that, because we are made of particles, we too can be of two places at once.

My friend thinks he knows a lot about science. I know nothing, having barely passed most of my science courses. But I suspect that they (scientists) really know very little about anything. Every generation has felt that they understood and that the last generation did not. Why is that not still the case?

As they say, it is all a big mystery.

So now I'll send my friend a .pdf of the certificate that he signed and see if he'll change his mind about which country he was in 41 years ago. Suppose that he can prove that he really was in Canada. Then what will we do?

In case you haven't realized it, this is mostly about what do we really know (very little?). We take a whole lot on faith and on the accuracy of our memories. I did need to prove that we were married, and for now, that task has been accomplished unless my friend talks to the Austin officials.

Then our marriage will really be on the rocks.

Make a Plan and Watch God Laugh

So this guy was going to operate on my thumb this am, but the snow and ice were too much. So I'll either reschedule or cancel or postpone. They used to call me "jelly Mosley" because I'd change my mind so often. So we'll see. My thumb gets better on its own every day... so maybe I should wait.

When I made the appointment two weeks ago I would have never imagined not going because of snow. In fact, the nurse called this morning and said, "are you still coming." I hadn't looked out the window, so I said, "why do you ask that?" Then I looked and understood.

Think how minuscule my thumb is to Egypt's woes. Or you jam your toe, and someone else gets hit by a Molotov cocktail. Each is preoccupied with their disaster. Life is funny that way.

Last night I started calling my wife by her middle name (Ann). I thought that would celebrate our changing natures. Why should we not change our names since everything else about us change? Except maybe my "jellyness."

Thumb

Tomorrow AM they are going to work on my thumb.
Wish me luck!

If I were into anything more dangerous...

 

http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=10859998734&topic=5460 talks about this particular type of pig. Is it something special? I don't know.

But the price is. 

I'm back to eating meat (and hating myself for it). It is so good though. I feel like I'm "led into temptation" or, as my mom said, "going to hell in a hand-basket." 

The price of the ham reminds me of the Twilight Zone episode where the man goes to sleep for 100 years, wakes up to realize that his stock has gone up 1000x. So then he calls his broker. (My memory is fuzzy... I know that the broker must be dead.) Anyway, he is told by the operator, "please deposit $1000 for the first three minutes." So his earnings were wiped out by inflation.

And then there was the movie, The Freshman, about a club for the elite that served exotic and endangered species. It was gluttony at its worst.

And tonight I heard that Suzuki Roshi, the San Francisco priest, would buy the bruised fruits and vegetables because he worried that no one else would.

I understand why Odysseus had the sailors tie him to the pole so he wouldn't lead the ship into the rocks when the sirens sang. I feel like I hear sirens when I smell great food. Glad I'm not into anything more dangerous. I'd be a goner. And glad I'm cheap, or I'd be eating ham for dinner.

A No-Brainer?

Ok, I admit it. My goal in life is to show how no brainers aren't. 

Being notified is a wonderful challenge for a software engineer. You could have an application on your computer that would monitor your usage and tell you how you are doing. I have an app on my iphone called "My Wireless" and I can change my plan anytime so I don't run over.

You might be thinking that most people are too stupid to use such a program. If so, it is only because we are doing too much protecting.

It is the same old slippery slope to tell banks and phone companies how they need to protect their customers. Are we going to tell stock brokers that people need 40% of their portfolio to be bonds? Probably not bad advice, but shouldn't someone have the right to take more chances?

Did I opt to take advantage of the debit card law that we have to be notified if we go over. Sure. If the damage is done I'll use it. I asked a banker a few years ago how come they can afford to give me a couple of hundred dollars  to open an account. He said that it was from the proceeds of people overdrawing their accounts.

I believe that having the information of one's balance is important. But it is dangerous to make this the government's role.

Kim

On Tue, Feb 1, 2011 at 2:22 PM, a friend sent this email:

   

Dear Friend,

Forward this email to FIVE friends now!
Tell friends to lend their voice so they can be alerted before they go over their wireless plan limit.

Let's make sure the wireless companies hear us loud and clear!
We have 10 days to possibly change how your cell phone company does business – and save you some real money.

The deadline is looming for consumers like you to weigh in on a proposal to make wireless companies notify you BEFORE you go over your plan limits – helping end cell phone bill shock!

This 'no-brainer' idea could save you hundreds of dollars in overage charges, and give you control over your wireless bill. Let’s make sure the FCC hears by the Feb. 11 deadline from the tens of thousands of you who want to be alerted before you hit your plan limit, so you can decide what you pay.

Click here to send an email to the FCC now – then forward this to FIVE friends so they can do the same!

Overage charges add up – our September survey found that half of respondents who said they were hit with an unexpected bill paid at least $50 in overage charges. Consumer Reports calls the FCC's proposal to have companies send you a text before you go over-limit a “no-brainer that should be a snap for today’s sophisticated smart phones.”

Of course, the wireless industry is fighting this proposal tooth and nail. They even claim it violates the First Amendment because it’s “burdensome” for them to send you a text when your limit is near. Interesting, considering they now text you deals and offers tailored to your account. And the European Union recently started requiring similar alerts, and they appear to work well.

Add your voice to our FCC petition, and then tell FIVE friends to do the same!

It’s going to take a consumer tidal wave to counter the powerful wireless industry. Help us get the word out about this proposal by forwarding this message to at least five friends so they can add their voice by Feb. 11! The FCC will consider consumer input before making a final decision, expected in the next few months.

It’s time you – not the cell phone companies – had control over your wireless bill!

Sincerely,
Parul Desai
HearUsNow.org, a project of Consumers Union
1101 17th Street NW, Suite 500
Washington, DC 20036

The One Stooge

I was plumbing today. My job was to fix a dripping faucet. In the process I hit some drain pipes and knocked them apart. The water in the sink started coming down the drain onto a cabinet. Over and over again I'd sponge it up with a paper towel, and then squeezed the water into the sink. Down it would come again. Where's my wife? How can I call a plumber? Where's a bucket? Help! This went on for about 1/2 of an hour when I finally realized that I was the culprit, putting water in the sink that was then falling onto the floor of the cabinet. Stupid? Funny? Don't laugh... please!

Openness, transparency, very very married.

When we were working on developing a vision for distance learning, we realized that the continuum was a much better model that having some classes in the distance mode and others not. In the same way, some individuals are very married to another, while some are very unmarried. It is unlike pregnancy (no one is a little pregnant).

Maybe at the beginning of a marriage some think they are very married, and, in the realm of anything being possible, I guess that might be possible. One of the last things my dad said was that now he can be with my mom [in the sky]. That certainly is on the end of the continuum that represents "very very married."

Betty gave a talk yesterday on openness. I asked a question about the relationship of openness and transparency.  I should be more open about how I am better at asking questions than at listening to the answers. I'm not as good as others at digesting information. Part of this is probably physiological, and the other part is that I want to fully chew things before I swallow them. And the process of chewing interferes with the listening.

In any case, openness seems like an action while transparency is a state of being. A forest is transparent in that it is all before your senses. But it is neither open nor closed. Openness is something you do. Transparency is something you can be. Maybe it is like naked or nude. Openness is when you take your clothes off and you are naked. Nude is that natural state of being without clothes and being transparent.

Do others see this differently?

Marriage. Ceased to exist?

Thanks to all who congratulated me on my change of status. Did my status really change? I am a little more sure of my status than I was a week ago. So I guess my status did change.

We have a sloppy language when it comes to marriage. My wife and I got married by making a life together over 41+ years. My daughter is getting married in May, but will she then be married? To what extent is someone married when they get married.

Then there is the issue of truth being a construct of what we believe. We believe our experiences. But when we go to a magic show and see the beautiful nymph sawed in half do we believe that? No. Is that an exception? Can we trust experience? I was suspicious last week that my experience of being married was not proof that I was married.

We have friends who say they like us? Do we believe them? We see a sticker on a car that it will go 31 mpg. Do we believe that? Some are told that when they die we'll have access to 27 virgins? Do even the most devout really believe that?

We live in a world that is in our head. Yet be operate as if the world is "out there." We drive into a tree and we don't stop in time. What did we hit? A tree? Some particles that congregate to form the illusion of a tree in our mind. Maybe.

If the county really wanted to know if I was married what could they say or do? And what happens to all those licenses when someone gets divorced. Do they stamp them "ceased to exist?"

Is it Art? Is it Real?

I spent much of today with my body contorted, my mind high on a muscle relaxant and Aleve. Finally went to a good doc. who straighten me out and even ran shocks through my body which seemed like being in a hot tub. I sure appreciate being "straight" again after waking up so crooked.

I wondered about Michelangelo's David. It is not easy in Florence to find David. He is tucked away in a labyrinth of  narrow streets, and you are risking life and limb walking because of the motor scooters that you are dodging.

I imagined that some might find the wrong place where, instead of the real David, they find a perfect copy. People, not knowing that it was not David, would admire it just the same as if it were real. Believing something is real is necessary for the experience. It doesn't need to be real.

Yet, in terms of economics, one is priceless and the other is not. Though one could be just as good as the other.

The famed Japanese printmaker, Munakata, said that when he is asked to authenticate his work, he detected the fakes because they are too good. In this case, the buyer might pay more for a lesser work of art. Munakata also said that he didn't like sharp knives because he was afraid he'd cut himself.

So we stand in front of one thing and say that it is so wonderful, and in front of another and say that it is a copy of something so wonderful. What is really the difference? Is this another example of how much we make up in our heads?

The Knot is Tied

The certificate came today, with a seal and signatures. We are now legal. Yea. My son called and asked what this is all about. I explained that we didn't know if we were really married. This was pre-computer. Yet they had the original. Yea for Peoria. I said that without proof marriage is just in your head. He asked, "what about with proof." I said it was still just in your head.

I was thinking of the butterfly effect when I was sitting zazen today. Without much thought, or at least thought that I don't remember, we went in 1969 to the Peoria Justice of the Peace to get a marriage license. Between that time and today we created and altered lives, some negatively and some positively. And this rather random act of getting "hitched" caused countless changes in the universe. I was contemplating some of those changes today.

We are all Amateurs and Photographers are not Artists (?)

Alfred Stieglitz said once, "if you're an amateur, and, of course, we are all amateurs..." A poster on Photoforum said (perhaps with a bit of shame) "she had no education in Art." How I envy her!

Here's a quote by Shunryu Suzuki-roshi (1905 - 1971), who was responsible for creating a vigorous Zen movement in America. "So the most difficult thing is always to keep your beginner's mind. There is no need to have a deep understanding of Zen. Even though you read much Zen literature, you must read each sentence with a fresh mind. You should not say, "I know what Zen is," or "I have attained enlightenment." This is also the real secret of the arts: always be a beginner. Be very very careful about this point. If you start to practice zazen, you will begin to appreciate your beginner's mind. It is the secret of Zen practice."

We sometimes are ashamed of our beginner's mind. I was writing a week ago about how hard it is to emulate the drawings of a child. Yet we recognize that the child's drawings are often more expressive than the adult's. The second we are not learners but "teachers" we cease projecting an excitement for the subject. Andy is a good model of someone who is always curious and looking for new ways to do things. He is never satisfied with what he already knows and is forever seeking out new challenges.

On another note, I wonder why people say "photography and art." To me, that would be like saying "women and human beings" (my wife would shoot me (deservedly)). Photography is a way of making art. On the other hand (to show that no two photographers agree), one of my teachers, Art Sinsabaugh, would become very defensive if anyone called him an artist. "I'm not an artist," he'd say, "I'm a photographer." I don't think he liked the special privileges that go with being an artist (artistic license, for example). He just wanted to show what he saw.

Wedding News

should come tomorrow. What was in the mail, wasn't, but now is.

So forty-one years plus a bunch of days later, we still wait to see if it is official. I asked for a fax, but no, licenses can't be faxed.

My wife-to-be isn't very anxious about all this. She's either confident that it is a non-issue, is taking valium, doesn't care, or has confidence that whatever we did was authentic.

Stay tuned!

Charles Bukowski and the silliness of Brooks Jensen's "criteria"

Charles Bukowski was a wonderful poet. See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRc6mHS9PjE
He's the Robert Frost of a different era.

I enjoyed (but disagreed) the talk on criteria that someone had posted by Brooks Jensen (http://www.lenswork.com/podcast/LW0639%20-%20Criteria%20Part%202.mp3), and also thought that it somewhat defines the argument on this forum. I thought it was very short-sighted in that the names he mentioned (Adams, Weston, Evans, Lange) all defined their own criteria and thumbed their nose at existing standards, just as Tina Barney and Charles Bukowski did. In fact, I sometimes look at history of art books with the idea that, as I turn the pages, each is doing something they weren't supposed to do. A curator from from MOMA once said, "Art should make you think and feel, and hopefully take you to a place you haven't been." Life is too short to be shown the same stuff over and over again. Let's break the molds.

Waiting and Mr. Obama

The 29 people in the focus group were disappointed...all but 2 of them. They didn't think he was telling things as they are (in Buddhist terms, as it is). He seemed younger than ever. And what a responsibility on his shoulders. I didn't like the times when he pitted America against others. I would like everyone to succeed. I've never understood the problem with someone making something somewhere else. They get paid in US dollars that they need to spend. Jeff will say that it costs people jobs. Yes, Jeff, but it get others jobs. It is prosperity that will trickle down, even if slowly.

On the home front, I expected to be married today. But alas, the Pony Express from Peoria to Austin must have gotten lost. Maybe our license will come tomorrow. In the meantime, we'll behave.

Tina Barney

There has been a lot of discussion on the Photoforum elist about this photo by Tina Barney. She is one of a number of contemporary photographers who are "thumbing their nose" to traditional photographic aesthetics. I contributed this statement to the list. So far, no one responded.

For me, there is an element of dada in this picture. In the same way that Marcel Duchamp put a urinal on a pedestal, we see a rather ordinary snapshot enlarged to human proportions. It opens our eyes, showing us how to see something commonplace in a very new way. Some of the commenters from the list seem to want to judge the work rather than experience it. This is a trap. The photographer is asking us to open our eyes and look at something that we might have discarded. Look at humans in this both comic and tragic theatrical setting. What do we see? How is this work more powerful and more universal than that done by a "professional" wedding photographer?