To Hell in a Hand-basket

The doc gave me some wicked little yellow cough pills. They work on the cough center of the brain along with the lungs. It said not to bite into the pill or it would numb your mouth and then you'd choke to death. As usual I read the instructions after I took the pill... but (luckily) I didn't bite into the little bugger so I'm alive... I think.

I signed up for an online course, and the instructor asked if I was living in Austin, Texas. Since most of the day I was just coughing, the word "living" took on a special meaning. I emailed back that I was in Austin, and that I was living... not mentioning that a few hours earlier I was more dying than living.

(I did a collaboration  years ago with my friend Mary about living and dying. I thought she was dying and she thought she was living... and we didn't realize the disconnect until the end. And now, eighteen years later, she's still living.)

I tried to write something, but then I'd have to cough, and then I'd have to cough again... and my mind couldn't do much more. So I met my wife at the "Upper Crust" for dinner, but I had just eaten dinner... so I planned to just have water with a big chunk of lemon. I then figured if I sinned a little it might feel better than coughing, so I bought a bran muffin. Just a little sin in my book (I try to eat no wheat & no eggs).

In the middle of our "dinner" my son called... and he's usually lucky to find a few minutes to call... so we talked. Finally I said I was on a hot date with his mom... so I got off the phone. I realized that it was a little warm in the restaurant/bakery. A bakery at 5:30 pm isn't otherwise a hot date because it is empty and ready to shut down when their last customers leave (us). Hot date stuck in my mind, so I decided, esp. since I was dying, that sin was called for, so I saw some large cinnamon rolls on a tray for sale. I pointed to them and told my wife I was now really going to sin. She said, "why don't you get a piece of pecan pie?" I went to look at that and said to the clerk I'd like a piece and pointed (extra words were hard to come by without coughing). It was a $1.10. I asked if there was a special price for a birthday boy? He took one of the two dollars in my hand and put it in the tip kiddy jar. The pie is free for your birthday, he said (that's why we love Austin!).

My wife asked how it was, and I said, "terrible" (eliminating any need to share). That must have been sin #6 or 7. It actually was so satisfying to taste something so sweet. It took my mind off my cough, and it is much more fun "to go to hell in a hand-basket," as my mother liked to say, than to cough.

I finally made it home (despite the warning that those taking the cough pill shouldn't drive) and fell asleep (dying) to wake (living) and felt a whole lot better...  even feeling the good taste of that sinning pecan pie from Upper Crust that took me to hell and back, in a hand-basket.

Diesel Engines on my Birthday

They say that because diesel gas has a high flash point that truckers need to leave their truck running, or they will have trouble starting it up. I haven't written for a long time... I think it was two days ago. I had one piece already written but not posted... but yesterday I just felt like coughing... which didn't lend itself to writing. I suppose if I was someone like my hero Jack London I still would have written (he wrote 15000 words every day no matter what). 1, 2, 3... 

I should have left my engine running. Now I don't know what to say. I could talk about how much I liked all the Facebook birthday greetings. Or I could write about how I read some stuff a brilliant high school classmate wrote today, and then I concluded I had no business writing. Or how, yesterday, a few people came up to me and said how much they were enjoying these posts.

Today is my birthday. I liked hearing an artist say the other day, "I was born, and then I had to deal with that." I had never thought of life as a process of dealing with this thing that happened to me. In Buddhism there is no I, so it doesn't make sense to me in that context. And yet it does, because all we can deal with is what is.

I guess if I could live the last 64 years over I would try to relish every moment, knowing how precious it was and how it would never return. What I would give just to be in a room with my parents and grandparents. When I was 16, my only thought was to get out. Now I am out, and they don't live on earth, and I can't  be in a room with them. Darn! When I see/hear kids being rude to their parents I feel like saying, "do you realize how lucky you are to have two parents... and ones that love you and are willing to put up with your c..p."

So if I had a birthday party (it will be in a couple of weeks when my kids are here) I would have made that my birthday speech. In a couple of weeks maybe the oil will stop gushing from the dragon's mouth, and life will be back to normal. I'll be sharing my birthday with my youngest grandson, so he'll likely be the one doing the speech with his indecipherable screeches. It will be fun.

Now that engine is running, And I'll have to remember to leave her running.

Another Non-Anger Story

About 40 years ago I had my first teaching job and decided that I could afford a new car (as opposed to one that had 100000+ miles and was falling apart). We were going to be moving to Texas the following year and we thought we'd need something dependable. First I decided on an used Suburban, but it was owned jointly by the Grissley Cheese Company and the Southside Worm Ranch (my son's family has a print I made about this fiasco), and their banker finally told me that they couldn't sell it. Then it was a Checker (as in cab) station wagon, but I was unsure if I could get it serviced in Dallas. Then an International Harvestor used Travelall... but it was expensive for a used car. Finally decided on a fleet version of a full-sized Chevy wagon. Gas was 29 to 39 cents a gallon and no one thought it would ever go higher.

Even though we lived in Peoria, it seemed the place to get a fleet model was in Chicago... so I called a dealer and arranged to pick up the car on a certain date. I called them a few times after that to confirm that they had the car. They reassured me that it was there waiting for me.

At that time my parents lived in Chicago. My dad and I went to get the car. I don't remember if we drove, or took public transportation. We probably drove, though my parents didn't own a car for many years in Chicago.

We arrived at the dealer, which looked more like a parking garage. I'm not sure that it had a showroom at all. I identified myself and asked to see the car. Oh, they said, we don't have that car. I was all ready to explode when my very calm and practical father said, let's go to another place and find your car. (What a teachable moment for a father.)

Somehow, we managed to go to another dealer and found the right car at the right price.

Mortgages and Oil

The US has just moved from one catastrophe to another. Or did we? What does the business of mortgages have to do with the business of oil. Risk.

I know an old man who only invests in CDs. His whole life has been about being careful. He doesn't gamble, at all. When the stock market is run by the bulls he shakes his head and tells you it will fall. When it is run by the bears he says he told you so. But he's nice... and he doesn't rub it in.

I suspect that those who succeed in risky ventures are those, unlike the old man, willing to go out on a limb. I imagine that most of the wells' managers take the chances that were taken at the leaky one. That's the name of the game. Take big chances for big profits.

On his deathbed, the Buddha's last word was "appamada," which means a commitment to care, to be fully present. In this state, one would see the possible consequences of their actions. Would they get fired, though, because they had shut down their well until the back-up systems were functioning properly? Probably.

Too Sad for Art?

Preface:

Is the world too bad
for art? Are the starving
children and the
spewing oil enough
for the poet to put
down her pen and
cry?

Or
is it a matter
of comparing
infinities, where
every day is
fully saturated
with many
disappointments...
and joys.

Sometimes
one infinity seems
larger than the
next, but
aren't they
really
all the
same?

Event:

I went for a walk
today—
a walk
I had joyously
anticipated.
No sooner
had I stepped from
my porch
a beautiful
blackbird lay on the
ground with no
life in her.

She must have hit
a window or something.

I continued my walking
planning to deal
with her
upon my return.

She enraptured my thoughts,
and my eagerly anticipated
walk became a collection
of tears rolling down my
eyes onto the hot pavement.

Half-way to my intended
destination,
I would go no
further.
I quickly returned
to where the bird
had met her fate,
but found her gone, already.

Finale:

Is there anything
more tragic than
Romeo and Juliet,
love that could
not be, and yet,
almost was?

Tomorrow I will
walk again, looking
for that blackbird that
rose from her sleep.

More Regulation?

Certainly one can imagine a situation where regulators could be wise, unbiased and omniscient enough to save countless lives and prevent disasters. In reality, do such people exist and can we afford them? We'd need them not only overseeing every oil well but testing every batch of hamburger (as oil free seafood skyrockets I suspect red meat will be making a comeback).

Sometimes regulation can backfire, as it did for workers in smokey environments across the country. The Surgeon General in 1996 declared that second-hand smoke causes cancer. Yet OSHA refused to ban smoking from the workplace. I suspect that this made it harder for injured workers to sue their employers, whose behavior was more or less approved by OSHA. Had there not been "regulators" (OSHA), the employees could have simply used expert witnesses (like the Surgeon General) to state their case. The argument that "OSHA approves" could not have been used by the defense.

One of the deans at the college where I worked used to quote the aphorism "careful what you wish for." Suppose that BP's activities was approved and certified A+ by some government regulator. Would they then still be responsible for clean-up?

Another fascination of the BP spill is that with all our technology and wisdom, we can't stop the spill in a timely way. We have grown up to believe in technology. So often I've said (or at least thought) that the limit was our imagination, not our technology. But now... we've found a dragon we can't slay.

Angry at Vegetarians?

D. wrote to the neighborhood elist that a couple of human beings took all her vegetables in her garden. A neighbor saw them doing that... but thought D. had hired them.

D. was so angry that she kicked a hole in her picket fence.

I asked my almost 4 year old grandson what he would do. He said that he'd get angry if someone stole his vegetables.

I wonder what the appropriate Buddhist response might be. And I also wonder how to stop the anger chain. The fence became an unintended victim. And what about all those poor souls that the woman confronts during the day or week or month or year. Are they going to have to pay for her vegetables?

BP has certainly caused more harm than the two human beings who were hungry for vegetables. And some are responding with rage as well. So now BP could be responsible for leaking anger as well as leaking oil. And the anger may go on and on... and be even harder to stop. What is all this anger accomplishing, or is it just adding "insult upon injury?"

Certainly some problems arise. For D., how to secure her vegetables. For BP, how to stop the leak. For Mr. Obama, how to insure that this won't happen again. For D.'s fence, how to live with a hole. Can we just forget the anger and solve these problems?

Golfer

I heard a story today that has been bouncing around in my head (and heart).

A golfer from Argentina won a tournament and received a large check for his prize money. As he was walking to his car, he met a woman with tears rolling down her eyes. He asks what's wrong, and she says she has a little boy who is very sick and she is facing enormous medical bills to make him well. He promptly signs his check over to her, wishes her well, and gets into his car.

A few days later, someone who had observed his generosity found out that the woman was a crook, and decides to inform the golfer. He tells the golfer that the whole story was made up, and the woman doesn't even have a son.

"Oh, thank goodness," the golfer said, "that there is no son with such a terrible illness."

iPad drawing #1

No... it didn't come yet. But a friend brought one by for me to play with... and then she worked my drawing a little. I love that you can vary line width and opacity with the speed of your stroke. Wow!

Zen Bird

One grain of rice.

Tickling the Tongue of a Dragon

I saw a Facebook post: Boycott BP.

I wonder why?

Revenge, as in "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth?" Will this make the world a better place?

They will have less money for the cleanup effort. They may have to sell wells to companies that will not serve their customers so well.

Is it a compassionate response to a company that is dealing with a catastrophe? Even if the catastrophe was self-imposed? Suppose a speeding car struck a tree and you could help the driver? Would you pull her out of a flaming car, or leave her to fry because she was speeding?

Will it regulate other companies to be more diligent? What may cause companies to be more diligent will be the lessons learned... that certain failsafe techniques may not work.

In defense of BP, they had two systems to shut off the well in case it exploded. Neither worked. Maybe they were careless. But the entire idea of drilling oil is risking. It is like tickling the tongue of a dragon. Sometimes the dragon will awaken and fire will start coming out in your face.

And then, I wonder, if any one of us is so good as to be able to criticize another? What does it say in the bible about a splinter and a log... "Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye."

Any opinions out there?

More on Squirrels

From our neighborhood elist... after countless suggestions on how to wage war (on squirrels). It just seems to me an outlet for people's anger. Is it possible to not think of something as an enemy, yet to not feel compassion? (Another double negative for my wife... keeps our brains exercised.)

I don't know.

Kim

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: J
Date: Thu, May 27, 2010 at 11:05 AM
Subject: Re: [rosedale] Ending the War on Tomato-Eating Squirrels
To: Kim Mosley , "Rosedale Neighborh.Ass Neighborh.Ass"

Let's be realistic. In some parts of the country tree shortage may be a problem for squirrels, but not in Austin. They also have more pecans then they can eat. I don't think of them as enemies, but I do not feel sorry for them and will keep them off the tomatoes if I can. ( - : Jacoba

On May 27, 2010, at 9:30 AM, Kim Mosley wrote:
I love tomatoes, but my heart is on the side of the squirrels... or at least I'm trying to grasp this issue from both sides. Back in the days of Davy Crockett I understand that there were enough trees in the US that a squirrel could hop from the Atlantic to the Pacific, from treetop to treetop, without touching ground.

Now we've removed most of their hunting territory, and their transportation system. And most of us aren't starving. So let us all be a little more considerate of our "cute" fair feathered (?) friends. At the very least, we could end the war and stop thinking of them as the enemy. We are both inhabitants of the same planet... and they were here first.

Kim

P.S. Looks like this year they'll have some choice pecans to share with us. And, just in case you are hungry for some homegrown tomatoes: http://www.ehow.com/how_4452007_stop-squirrels-eating-tomatoes.html

Let the squirrels eat whatever... a view from Mars

Felt like I was a man from Mars today. First off, I thought it was Thursday and acted like it was Thursday, and felt so stupid when I discovered that it was Wednesday.

Then I saw a motorcycle fly down Guadalupe at 100 miles an hour (speed limit 35 or 40). Definitely a bat out of heaven. Very startling.

Went to a store that closes at 8:04 pm. Does that happen on Earth? Got there at 8:02 pm and was able to get the ingredients for my cereal mix tomorrow.

Went to Walgreens and tried to get Rhuli creme for an attack of mosquitoes on my hands. The young clerk had never heard of it. Then I asked the pharmacist. He said he'd never heard of it. I asked him how long he had worked there. 15 years, he said.

My wife claims that it is now Anti-Itch creme by Band-Aid (I'm not being paid for this ad, but wish I was because I wasted today $10 on some junk iPad accessories and $40 on a junk electric razor)... They didn't have Anti-Itch either. Said I should go to their competitor. Walgreens is always almost empty... very strange how they keep going.

Oh, yes, there's the mud that they are squirting into the gusher, a mile down. Will it work? If only I could remember what we did on Mars.

And Apple surpassed Microsoft today. 10 years ago Apple almost bit the dust. So many times I've heard, "we only support Windows." Now I'm waiting for that time when someone will say, "We only support Apples." I mentioned to someone tonight that Apple is the leading computer company. "Not really computers... that's PCs." "No," I said, "computing is changing." I understand more Internet is seen worldwide on smartphones, and there are more text messages the email messages. So maybe the PC is not how people communicate any more. PCs... the computer of yesterday... written on a PC.

Happy full moon, everyone!

Apple Is Said to Face Inquiry About Online Music

This NYTimes article is about a situation a little on the goofy side (IMHO). Amazon is doing an antitrust inquiry on Apple on the basis that it (Amazon) is not allowed by Apple to make an exclusive contract with a record company. I can imagine the suit going the other way. Seems like Apple is keeping two big players in the music business. The antitrust police should thank them.

Talking about "stupid," yours truly wasn't too smart today, thinking he could manage a real estate tax appeal. He failed, and now is going to hire an expert to take over. In the meantime, he (I) missed a day of art making and used up lots of good time and paper.

Socrates was told by the oracle that he was the wisest man in Greece. He (not being so wise as to not believe an oracle) spent his life figuring out how this could be, if he hardly knew anything. (My wife gets on me for these double-negatives). Anyway, he found that even people who knew things had no idea what they didn't know. I should know that I don't know how to deal with the tax assessor's office. If you ever see me in person, please remind me!

I ordered an iPad today. Perhaps a completely useless device, and perhaps the new canvas and the new library. It won't come for a couple of weeks (hopefully in time for my birthday). And don't tell my wife. I want to break the news with some flowers (oh... are you reading this?).

Our bout with dog-sitting is over. I was threatened with a suit for dog cruelty when I photographed the dog with the sign around its neck. I can see child-labor issues, but dog cruelty? It sure is quiet here without a creature stirring around. Maybe I should get a noise machine?

And last, Tuesday is when I'm doan in the temple, which means I'm the time-keeper and bell ringer. I did everything perfect tonight except ring the bells at the right time, and ring them with the right sounds. I need to learn to watch the priest while keeping my eye on the bell. They are about 190° apart. I think I will have my right eye repositioned into my right ear. That will make things easier.

Not Happy Forever

Crisis Imperils Liberal Benefits Long Expected by Europeans

Most of the universal health care discussions mention Europe and how far behind we are. I was fascinated by the above article, and by the coming demise of socialism in Europe (others may call it something different). In 1980 the European Union countries devoted 16% of their  GDP to welfare and in 2005 devoted 21%, with France at 31%. We devote 15.9% to welfare. Because of the reduction in workers, they are in a bind. Their lifestyle, healthcare and early retirement are not sustainable. Retirement ages are increasing, and healthcare benefits reducing. Are we attempting to copy a broken model?

Kim and Linda's

We've been babysitting this dog. Maya is unusual in that she can read and write. That's what she gets for having been raised by Ms. Dr. in Literacy and a very smart father too. Anyway, she came into my office a few minutes ago with this sign that she had written. I'm sure her old parents will be disappointed... but dogs have rights too... and possession is 9/10 of the law, isn't it?

Accidents Just Happen

Rand Paul yesterday criticized Obama for lashing out at BP, saying that they never said they weren't going to be responsible for the spill. I agree that Obama is the president of the entire country and shouldn't pick enemies with such facility.

But I was dismayed with Rand's assertion that "accidents just happen." I started going through accidents with which I was familiar. Yesterday I melted butter in a small glass. My wife warned me about doing this for years. Finally she started doing it herself. Then I got brave and melted a little more butter than usual for some artichokes. That was enough to break the glass. "You should have used pyrex," she said. An accident? Not really. I was living on the edge (so to speak), and paid dearly (well, not so dearly...the glass probably cost 25¢).

BP didn't just have an accident. They were rushing things, and they had been warned about various violations in their drilling. They are living on the edge, and now we (including the oceans) are all paying. And there are over 3000 similar drilling operations in the gulf. Are we going to wait for other accidents to "just happen?" Being sloppy here is a threat as great as any terrorist attack. Telling companies that they can do what they want as long as they are responsible for the damage is not enough. Somehow the oil companies need to insure us that they are taking all steps* to not have "accidents just happen." Sorry, Mr. Rand Paul, I'm not with you on this one.

*I can imagine independent regulatory organizations that could watch over drilling operations. We don't need to give this role to Uncle Sam. We merely need to require that they have been certified to be "safe" as we do with the medical profession.

Thanks to AR for the drawing to "alter."

Capitalists are Ruthless

R wore a t-shirt the other night with the slogan "capitalists are ruthless." He said (from a Buddhist perspective) that no matter what you think about them, that's what they do. I didn't argue, but I thought to myself that "ruthless" has negative connotations. Yes, some capitalists probably get pleasure from stomping on people, but so do some socialists. Certainly some level of shrewdness helps a capitalist become successful, but calling them all ruthless might be going too far.

As I drive down the street, I'm amazed that most of what I see are comforts created by capitalism. Houses, cars, landscaping, and roads are all put into place to make someone money. Someone wanted to make a buck, and in doing so, improved another's quality of life. That "someone" might have been ruthless. They might have charged "as much as the market would bear." In doing so, they created a better world. I wonder what alternatives we have?

Exxon-Mobil doesn't have a great reputation for being committed toward helping others, though their foundation is quite generous, with a very generous donation to Texas Universities. Maybe not generous enough for some, but certain in the league of other large companies.

Ron Paul's Son, Rand

I think Rand is being honest when he says that he abhors discrimination. I also think he's playing with words when he says that he will not work to repeal the Civil Rights Act. Not that he wouldn't like to repeal it, but he knows that to attempt to do so would be political suicide.

There are many ways to skin a cat (why one would want to do so is beyond me). There are many ways to change behavior. One is through law and another is through persuasion (either by thoughts or action). Libertarians wish to follow the latter, when possible, knowing that when we use the law to change behavior we run into two risks: one that we may be wrong in our determination about what is "right action" and second, there may be unintended negative consequences from the law. One of these consequences is the limit that each law has on our freedoms.

Most people embrace laws that jive with their beliefs. If I were king, I'd make a law that no one can wear any clothes that cost more than $10. And no human should eat meat. And no one should smoke cigarettes in the presence of a kid. And on and on. Maybe you'll agree with my laws when they match your beliefs. But is that the society that is the "home of the free?"

Just because someone doesn't believe laws are a preferred means toward regulating humans doesn't tell you much about their beliefs. One problem with discrimination laws is that they give us a false sense of accomplishment. Yes, African-Americans can sit anywhere on the bus, but, as Kate pointed out, the bus is still not integrated. That will take a change of heart.

(Note: I vowed to write no more opinion pieces. That was until this issue made the news, and I saw a man struggling to explain himself, and in the process, compromise his integrity by not really explaining what he believes.)

It was just play.

I played a stone mason today,

chiseling angles from limestone

that we set around the pond.

After an hour in the hot sun,

I put my tools aside and

took a shower, 

deciding

the wall could wait

until tomorrow.

It was just play.

I think of a real

stone mason, who

comes to work at 8 am,

and chisels and

hauls rubble

until 5 pm.

Hour after hour

day after day

week after week

year after year.

A real stone

mason

works in

hot sun and

cold rain,

without neither

excuses, 

nor
choices.

Two Worlds on the Same Planet

First stop was
the North End Terminal
in Memphis—
hundreds of
dark skinned
men, woman, and children
waited as busses
came and went.
Occasionally someone would
see someone familiar,
and they'd catch up a bit.

He'd sell
a cigarette
for a couple of quarters
(we used to give them away—
but they were cheap then).

Their bus would come
and they'd board it,
with difficulty,
for the bus might stop anywhere
along a long driveway,
and they'd have to run
to catch it.

A big man, hunched over,
sweeping up the cigarette butts,
and straws, and wrappers
(as Sisyphus rolled the boulder
up the hill) .
He'd try hard
to keep
the waiting area
clean,
but it seemed to gather debris faster
than he could
work.

Another man, with a battery powered
wheelchair and guide dog, boarded a
bus with a ramp. Someone came up to him to
ask him about his dog.

A woman, three hundred pounds,
at least, had a neck brace.
I asked her
if she was in a car accident.
"No," she said, "I fell down the stairs."

An hour later, my bus arrived at
the airport.
I was the only light-skinned
one to board
and the sole rider
to made the entire journey.

At the airport there were almost
no dark-skinned ones,
and no man
sweeping cigarette butts.
Planes were coming and going,
with covered carpeted
conditioned walkways
leading to each plane.

Two worlds in the same day.

A very successful exec.
in pre-washed designer jeans,
spoke confidently and endlessly
to a rash of associates
on his cell.

His conversations were
broadcast to all.
He tried to get comfortable
on the airport seats,
slouched this way and that,
with one foot on the table
between
his seat and the next.

Two worlds on the same planet.

Bus to airport

It must be a miracle if I get to Texas today this way.

Recording w/Elvis

That's All Right Mama

1st Elvis Recording was here

Elvis's First Television Appearance

Listening to Elvis's first recording

w/teary eyes

King's Stool

Sun Studio

Shakin' Goin' On w/Elvis

Walker Radiator Works

Infrastructure

Walking to Sun Studios to record with the King