Spring

Not Knowing What I Don't Know

He spoke of not knowing,
rather than of knowing.

What don't I know?
Which begs the question
of what do I know?

I am here. Where is here?
Who am I? How do I know
I'm not dreaming?

What do we really know?
The bird sings, or is it
the tree rubbing against
my roof?

What do we really know?
How to do something
we've done a hundred times,
like cutting a vegetable in half
or putting on your shoes.

And then
we watch a pro,
and realize
we've never really
done it.

Imagine
if kids were graded
on
what they didn't know...
or if
essay tests asked,
what don't you
know about the subject.
Much harder to say
than what
you do know.

What do you know?

What do I know?

Efficient Exercise for Bursting Biceps

I went to a new gym today
that touted
efficient exercise.

I expected an empty room.
Instead it
was a room
filled with weights and
muscle building machines.

The trainer had biceps
that tried to
burst out from his arms.

I asked,
"Could I have
biceps
like yours?"
"Only
if you have the same genetic
disposition,"
he said.

I replied,
"We are more alike
than penguins on an iceberg."
He answered,
"Yes,
we are all alike."

I left,
having no interest
in bursting
biceps.

Maybe, though,
I could sell
them on Craigslist.

Yesterday's Truth and more ADHD.

Went tonight to hear W.S. Merwin (click link to read 12 of his poems). 84 years old, born in the year Babe Ruth hit 60 home runs. Now saving a rain forest in Maui, formerly studied Buddhism with Robert Aitken... and Poet Laureate of the US for 2010-2011. Wow! What a knock-out great man!

My favorite thing he talked about was the stuff we don't know... and how that was ok. He said that more knowledge wasn't necessarily better. Oh, he said so many things. Another moving thought was his reason for accepting the role of Poet Laureate, which would take him away from the Maui rain forest that he loves (and his dog). He said that he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he did say things that he needed to say... and he'd be able to say those things as Poet Laureate.

I titled this "Yesterday's Truth" and realized when I woke up this am that what I wrote yesterday was yesterday. The great thing about being human is we can change our mind. We can change our path. One day we can fast and the next day we can eat sardines. Though some places we don't have the freedoms we have here in the U.S. of A. I don't understand the people who are disgusted with the U.S. What are they comparing it too?

Wouldn't it be great if students were graded on what they didn't know. We ask people, "what do you know?" But maybe a better test of their intelligence would be to ask them what they don't know (a la Socrates). I read tonight that for most of us, evolution is just a story. We take someone's word for it. Others believe in "intelligent design"... another story. Do we really know much of anything... or do we just believe?

I was thinking about the comment about my ADHD that one of my former student ascribed to me (glad that is not his profession). As I walked down the sidewalk tonight on the way to the poetry reading I was thinking about that, and about how everything is related to everything. I watched people walk on the sidewalk, and I watched the sidewalk receive the footsteps. It was never "out of step." And the cars were passing, and the noises were filling the air, and nothing was out of place.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Well, how are you... really? (Too personal?)

Johnny Rose texted me telling me he was safe from the tornado that went through St. Louis. Look at his website. He's quite a colorful character. Anyway, I didn't recognize his phone number so I texted back "who r u?" He texted, "Johnny Rose. How are you, really?" I responded that I'd answer him on my blog.

Today I heard about Roz Savage, a banker who gave it all up to row across the Atlantic. We work hard to build a fort to die in. Then some of us realize that we want to live rather than die. My wife and I had built a pretty sweet place in St. Louis. We thought we'd be there forever. And then we decided to move. Actually she decided, and I went along for the ride... and I'm glad I did.

In the 60s my friend Peter said, "why don't you become Kim the photographer?" He was responding to my interest in everything even though my first love was photography. Peter became a great landscape architect in Nova Scotia, and his wife, a fellow sculpture student of mine, became a doctor. What happened to me?

I took a workshop this weekend with Marc Lesser. Toward the end of the workshop, we had a journaling exercise. He asked us to write about how, if everything went as we wanted it to, what would our life look like in the next three years?

I never liked assignments. My first instinct is that I'm not going to do it. So I intended to do something else.

(I'm annotating, adding and changing this as I copy it from a scrap of notepaper.)

Maybe I don't want to go down the path I'm walking. I like the thoughts and the friends, but I miss being 100% immersed in art. (And now I'm watching a movie with the ocean in it, and think, wow... that's what I want... the ocean. Wow! Glad that movie is over. Now I can focus on this.)

Going at things as I've been doing, I hope to accomplish in three years a few simple things: controlling my eating, my addiction to email, taking regular walks with my wife, and seeing my daughter and her husband in a home that suits them. I hope to continue and improve my writing, and to increase my readers as well. But what about pictures.

Something is lonely about making art. Well, not lonely, but I did write that. It is all about "I" and as I wrote to my cousin today, I'm getting over "I" after nursing him for 64 years. We've had a falling out, of sorts.

First I used a camera as a way of not being in the middle of things, and then painting. All I wanted was to be in life, rather than talking about life. I no longer want to do the art that I programmed myself to do. It isn't cute anymore (I think my mother used to say that about my infantile behavior (when it would occur)). The imagery I brought from STL is dead for me right now. It is wallowing in self. It says "I am me" and I'm bored with that after 50 years.

I'm imagining imaging the cosmos, like Eric's painting that we have on our fireplace.

And all this came from the path I've been walking.

And now, just when you think you (and I) know how I'm doing, I have to print two more pictures that I'm doing for an exhibit that needs to go out tomorrow.

Thanks for the question, Johnny Rose.

Notes on Rationalization, Getting a Job, the Unconscious, and the Secret of Marriage

I went to Central Market. I didn't eat any free samples... but decided I could drink some free coffee because coffee has no calories. Luckily, there was none and I was saved from the slippery slope. But I lusted anyway, and as we learned from Jimmy Carter... oh, what did we learn about lust? He said something about lusting with your heart. Was that ok?

I heard today that those who are unemployed and journal about their feelings find a job much faster than those who don't journal.

Also that our unconscious takes in 11 million bits of information at a time, but our conscious mind sees only 40. How do we make decisions? If you look at a "lie detector" we know things way before we think we know them. Free will? Who is free?

One more thing. Someone asked the priest today what the difference was between attachment and love. He described them as almost opposites where you let go in love and you hold tight in attachment (my words). No wonder people get divorced at the rate they do (confusing the two words).

It wasn't sugar-free. Good Friday.

I went into a medical building and walked past a dialysis center. Outside the center some people were selling some sugar cookies and white cake with frosting (the kind made in a donut-shaped pan). They were raising money for the dialysis center. Good intentions that threw me for a loop.

I told them that something was confusing to me about what they were doing. I asked first if many people need to be in dialysis because they have diabetes. They said "yes." Then I asked if eating too much sugar was a cause of diabetes. They said "yes." Then I asked why they were selling high sugar foods. One of them said that they didn't know how to make frosting without sugar... and the other said that I could donate anyhow and not buy anything. They were very polite... more so than yours truly.

Good Friday. My neighbor said it was the day of the crucifixion. Shame on me for forgetting that. Then I guess Easter is when he rose. I was thinking it was when he was born, and it was quite a coincidence that his birth and death date were so close... but now I remember Christmas... though in Austin, without snow, it is hardly Christmas.

In any case, good Catholics aren't supposed to eat today, which is a nice gesture towards someone who was so important to our civilization.

Why is it called "Good?" Anyone know?

Odysseus and the Sirens

Odysseus was as brave a man as they come, yet he had his sailors tie him to the mast of his ship so he could hear the beautiful songs of the sirens. He then put cotton in their ears so they would not drive their ship into the rocks. He knew that the temptation was more than a man could bear.

It was all about having so much strength that he understood his weakness.

And so I journeyed to Central Market to get some food from the salad bar for lunch. I didn't go with the overconfidence of the day before, trusting the visualization of the big man transferring his germs to the shortcake. I simply understood my weakness for the cheese bar and their incredible free samples, and stayed clear of the area. I used another visualization this time, that of Odysseus, tied to the mast, pleading for his sailors to take him to the sirens. Click here, and you'll see what he might have seen, and hear some Greek music to boot.

Don't Worry about the National Debt.

One can say that the debt is way out of control, and they may be right. But others may say that the debt is not really as serious as it is made out to be. It is kind of like the trade deficit.

Here are some arguments that explain why debt is fine.

1) If we think about the entire world (and some say this is a world economy) there isn't really any net debt. It all averages out. I owe Joe $100. Joe has $100 note from me. Our net debt=$0.

2) Some people and nations may benefit from investment, others from borrowing. How many would own houses if they had to be bought with cash? We borrow because we wish to use an asset now rather than on our death bed. What is wrong with that?

3) When we pay interest to other US citizens or foreigners they have a bag full of US dollars. What are they going to do with that money? Burn it? Probably not. Rather, they will have to spend it, buying our goods and services, investing in our companies, or loaning it back to us. In any of these cases we still have use of it.

I'd appreciate it if someone tells me the fallacies in my thinking. In the meantime, I won't lose any sleep.

I'm not cured.

It was all too easy. I was supposed to visualize the big man with the germs reaching for the shortbread and I wouldn't eat free food.

Right?

Wrong...

I was at a buffet tonight, and I thought, what harm could a celery stick do... and then four more celery sticks... and then some carrot sticks... and then, engaged in a conversation and losing focus as I was sliding down the slippery slope, I had a biscotti, and then another... followed by about three pieces of pita bread... to be finished off with a few handfuls of potato chips. Ick!!!

If I had just thought of the big man with the germs before I ate that first celery stick.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

I hope.

Cured.

I was cured today. Though not really by renunciation. Rather visualization. I'll explain.

I was at Central Market, and... It must seem all I do is go shopping for food. My wife might agree.

Anyway, I wasn't very tempted by the free samples, since I had a good breakfast and I was in a hurry.

I saw a big man reaching in for a sample of shortcake. There were tongs... but he chose his fingers. Then he put the shortcake in his mouth, smacked it down, and then noticed me staring at him. He winked and went for another bite (against my rules), not taking his eyes off me. This time he slid over the tongs, and reached with his now slobbery fingers onto the mound of shortcake.

Enough... all I have to do is to remember the sickening thought of those germs jumping off his fingers onto the mound of shortcake...

I was going to go to a hypnotist, or maybe read more of the Talmud... but no, all I have to do is to think of those germs and I'll follow in my kid's footsteps of not eating what's free.

I keep forgetting "thinking with your heart," the first truth that I took from the Talmud. The second is to control passion, and the third is to not turn down an opportunity to enjoy life. And now I have a reason to do all three, don't I?

In the meantime, I learned today that one of seven principles of Japanese aesthetics is Datsuzoku, meaning freedom from habit or formula. So now I have a reason to break my new habit... or not eating free samples.

We'll see what tomorrow offers.

Don't tell my wife.

I had some fruit that was ready for the recycling bin, so I put it into my Vitamix, including half of a rotten apple, a really soft grapefruit, and some once soft but now frozen grapes...oh, an old lemon as well. The I noticed I had some old Briggs Apple Cider Vinegar, so I poured some of that into a glass of the juice... along with some nutritional yeast. It was so sour. I finally found my match. Down the sink it went. How sad to lose all that good food!

Then I poured a glass of juice without the vinegar, and added yeast and agave. Not too bad.

Earlier I went to Wheatsville, our food co-op, to get something for dinner. I ended up just buying some eggs... which we didn't need at all. But I spent some time reading all the labels in their deli section. I don't like garlic, and almost all their stuff had garlic.

And they never have free samples. But I guess they saw me coming, because the woman behind the counter asked me if I wanted to try anything. I am a fan of their popcorn tofu so it crossed my mind that I could really take advantage of the situation and tell her I'd like to try it... but no, I said "no thank you." It felt good not to be a slave to every urge.

I was reading something in the Talmud about the rules for the sabbath. A man is not supposed to put his hand outside of his window, even to hand something to someone else. All "codes" have rules which seem arbitrary... like my new rule of not eating samples, or my kids refusal to eat from buffets (they both say, dad... the food has been sitting out.)

This issue of discipline is fascinating to me. Maybe all the rules are about teaching discipline. Containing passion, so to speak. Last night we were reading about watching your breath when you meditate. Someone asked how watching your breath could make you enlightened. The priest explained that it was just a tool. We read about a group of accomplished meditators who had to tell their teacher each day something new that they discovered about their breath. Was there anything special about studying the breath? Of course not. But is there something special about learning to concentrate. Of course. No one wants a surgeon that has "monkey mind."

Don't tell my wife.

into the juice and then added the vinegar... along with some nutritional yeast. It was so sour. I finally found my match. Down the sink it went. How sad to lose all that good food!

Then I poured a glass of juice without the vinegar, and added yeast and agave. Not too bad.

Earlier I went to Wheatsville, our food co-op, to get something for dinner. I ended up just buying some eggs... which we didn't need at all. But I spent some time reading all the labels in their deli section. I don't like garlic, and almost all their stuff had garlic.

And they never have free samples. But I guess they saw me coming, because the woman behind the counter asked me if I wanted to try anything. I am a fan of their popcorn tofu so it crossed my mind that I could really take advantage of the situation and tell her I'd like to try it... but no, I said "no thank you." It felt good not to be a slave to every urge.

I was reading something in the Talmud about the rules for the sabbath. A man is not supposed to put his hand outside of his window, even to hand something to someone else. All "codes" have rules which seem arbitrary... like my new rule of not eating samples, or my kids refusal to eat from buffets (they both say, dad... the food has been sitting out.)

This issue of discipline is fascinating to me. Maybe all the rules are about teaching discipline. Containing passion, so to speak. Last night we were reading about watching your breath when you meditate. Someone asked how watching your breath could make you enlightened. The priest explained that it was just a tool. We read about a group of accomplished meditators who had to tell their teacher each day something new that they discovered about their breath. Was there anything special about studying the breath? Of course not. But is there something special about learning to concentrate. Of course. No one wants a surgeon that has "monkey mind."

Renunciation Revisited at the Sample Bar

I went to Natural Grocers today to get brown rice. They have the short grain kind that I like so much. They never have free samples... except today. There was another cute woman at a card table giving away bits of nut filled candy bars. Nutrition bars, called Kind, I think.

I said no. Yea. I said no. And no just because I wanted to see if I could say no. I really wanted them. But I thought about how I could be in charge... and it felt good. Though I'm not going to admit it to anyone.

I explained to the woman that they looked great, but I just wasn't partaking of free samples.

And then I started thinking about renunciation, which one of my zen teachers said was the most important idea in zen. It confused me at the time because it seemed that renunciation is so negative (what other word has three Ns?).

It isn't really not eating the free sample, but more about walking straight to the back where they keep the rice in a cooler. So you don't don't eat the sample, and you don't don't lust over your neighbor's BMW, and you don't hold back from lusting because that's an action. At least, that's my take on it. You just go in the store and get the rice. Or you do what you need to do to see clearly. If your mind is on what you are giving up... like a free sample... like my mind is... you are lost... as I am.

So I Googled renunciation and found a drawing I made 3 years ago about it. It is a small world when you find yourself.

It was not sample time.

Today I went back to Central Market, this time to hear a wonderful Zen drum concert. But I was also assigned the task of getting some food for dinner, so I went to the cheese bar for some "samples."

Back to the concert, I sat next to a very chic old lady who was eating cheese and drinking wine. Her cheese had a thick rind on it, and was dried up on the edge a little. So she didn't eat that. How I wanted to say, "would you like me to help you with the cheese." But no, I contained my passion and left her cheese for the mice.

Anyway, as I walked to the cheese bar I thought, what would it be like to deprive myself of any free samples. But no, I thought, I was already deprived of that woman's dried cheese rind, so I deserve a free sample.

When I got to the cheese bar, I saw that they did have free samples, but pieces about the size of a broken pencil lead... ok... maybe a little larger. Anyway, I ate two and they were delicious.

Then I went to the bakery. They always have samples. I decided I would only sample dark bread, eyeing a bag in front of the loafs of bread. When I got there, I noticed the bag had some scraps of bread but no tongs. I soon found some tongs in another bag and then had a handful of scraps.

All in all, is was not sample time.

Shopping is not fun.

If the Gov. shuts down will I still have to pay taxes? US Male.

I like to wear large shirts. My wife says they don't fit and buys me medium shirts. I don't like them because they fit kind of snug, and then I feel constrained. So I returned the medium shirt to Nordstrum's Rack, and then bought a large Hawaiian shirt from Costco. She thought it was beautiful when I had it in my hands. "Oh, it is polyester," she said. Then she looked at the tag and saw that it was silk. One point for me. Then I put it on, and she said, "but it is too big." So it, as comfortable as it was, will go back to Costco.

I bought some tuna... or, kind of. I put eight cans in my cart. I figured I could have half of a can a day... and it would last sixteen days... and I would get some good protein. Then I went to the self check-out line at Costco and told the roving helper there that I didn't want it. I set it on top of the scanning station. I kept asking myself, "should I" or "shouldn't I?"

I've heard that we make unconscious decisions before we make conscious decisions. And then we rationalize to explain to ourselves and others why we do things. The truth is, we don't know. Anyway, I then switched sides (they used to call me "jelly Mosley") and decided to buy the tuna. I turned toward the place I had set the cans, and alas, they were gone. Problem solved.

Why did I write about the shirts and the tuna? It is the free samples and the Talmud that interest me most. So the Talmud says to contain one's passion, but to not pass up an opportunity for pleasure. I tried some great guacamole salsa and chips. The salsa was made by a company called Fat Tomato... or something like that. I asked the demonstrator why they'd call a company that. She said because they only use the fattest tomatoes. So not to pass up an opportunity for pleasure, I not only took a second sample (I asked first), even if it was against my "rules," but I put a jar of the salsa into my cart. I told the cute woman who was preparing the sample that this is the first time I bought something I sampled. She said she was doubly pleased, since it was my first time. I didn't tell her that her looks were the tipping point. I wheeled my cart about ten feet from the stand, and wondered how I was going to eat the big bottle in 3 or 4 weeks, supposedly its shelf life. I returned the bottle to her, saying, "I'm sorry. I don't think I'll be able to use it." "Well, thank you anyway," she said. Again, a "jelly Mosley" move.

One more thing. I've been trying to quit reading email all day long. I decided this morning that I'd just do it three times a day. Three is such a great number. Everything in Buddhism comes in three. Everything, that is, except for those things that don't. In any case, I lasted about 2 hours. I think it is harder than quitting smoking. Imaging knowing that you have mail in the mailbox but have to wait 5 hours to see what it is. For some, it is a piece of cake. For others (like me), it is excruciating. In Buddhism, we call that "an opportunity for practice." In the Talmud, it is an opportunity to contain passion. Passion? Maybe it is not passion that drives us to see if "I got mail."

Eat Ur heart out Charlie Brown

Eat Ur heart out Charlie Brown

Obama's Chutzpah

It cost the burglar when he could not open the safe. He sued and won.

Obama: "There’s nothing serious about a plan that claims to reduce the deficit by spending a trillion dollars on tax cuts for millionaires and billionaires." Amen.

That's what someone wrote on their FB page. Amen. I'm a little taken back with Obama's chutzpah in saying that Uncle Sam would be spending a trillion dollars on tax cuts if he'd reduce taxes. One spends money when they buy something. They don't "spend" when they stop taking what isn't theirs.

Would such a "reduction" reduce or enlarge the deficit? Even if we had an eight-ball, we still wouldn't know. So many other factors come into play that the effect of one action gets lost in the mix.

I like to remember that anyone who is earning a billion dollars is not only supporting many many lives, but may be plenty of taxes (depending on whether the earnings are from income or dividends... and what loopholes are employed). At 25%, it would be $250,000,000. That is much more than that person benefits in terms of goods and services provided by Uncle Sam. Is it their fair share? Because they can afford more, should we take it? And is that the gauge—what someone can afford?

Sounds a little like Karl Marx, "From each works according to his ability, to each according to his need."

Majorities have a scary amount of power in a democracy.

Good and Bad, and the Talmud

Remember, if you grow any taller I might not hit the apple.

I wanted to be taller. But tall people hit their head more than I do. One of the deans at the college I was at used to say "careful what you wish for."

I've been pretty hard on the Talmud, but now I'm starting to get into it. Esp. when it gives me permission to do something I thought I shouldn't do. So here's what happened:

I went to the Central Market to buy some fish and potatoes. It was a Talmud exercise... kind of. Well, the Talmud said to think with your heart and to control your passions. With that, I wouldn't buy fish, because my heart would tell me not to kill a fish, and my passion to eat a fish would be controlled. And since the Talmud said to control my passion I wasn't going to eat any free samples either.

But then I walked by a guy who was handing out free all-beef hotdog samples. I thought about another line from the Talmud that said something about living your life so that you don't pass by any pleasure... something like that... I'm sure it wasn't referring to free sample hotdogs... but it was written a while ago too. I passed by the guy, and then did an about face, and not only ate the scrap of hot dog, but the free cheese sample and a few others.

Later I thought about my cousin Larry who recently left earth. He was very disappointed that I was not more involved in Judaism. He loved my parents, but I'm sure thought they are erred greatly in not teaching us about our roots.

We got so close...

We got so close it got dark.

If Gov. shuts down...

If the Gov. shuts down will I still have to pay taxes?

Judgment Day

http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/273664 claims that "The poorest households in the United States gave on average 4.3 percent of their income while the richest fifth gave just 2.1 percent of their income."

And http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=2682730&page=1 claims that the conservative, poor, and religious give the most. 

As usually, the rich don't come off smelling like a rose. Is it true that they don't give their fair share? What about the progressive tax system? David Friedman, in a recent post, claimed that Adam Smith didn't support that. Can we think of the progressive tax as a means for getting the rich to pay their fair share. Or, do we believe the studies that said when taxes were less the rich were more philanthropic?

There are many types of giving. One is putting a few dollars in a passed basket at church. Another is providing a great education for your children or littering the world with fine art. That gives to society. In the end, I think we are short-sided when we try to make judgments. And here's a quote from the Talmud that I agree with wholeheartedly (well, depending on your interpretation): "A person will be called to account on Judgment Day* for every permissible thing he might have enjoyed but did not.”

*—In some judgment days, the world is destroyed for the sins of mankind. In the Jewish judgment day, the book is opened that has all of our deeds. For those of us who haven't behaved there is an opportunity for repentance and a change of our ways.

Let the fear of Heaven be upon you. (More Talmud)

3. Antigonus of Soko received from Shime'on ha-Çaddiq. He used to say, Be not as slaves that minister to the lord with a view to receive recompense; but be as slaves that minister to the lord without a view to receives recompense; and let the fear of Heaven be upon you.

Rosedale Tar Drip

I don't know why so many of these wise Jewish sayings have three statements in them, and the first two are much easier to take than the third. They are almost like a syllogism:

No lazy people pass exams.
Some students pass exams.
Some students are not lazy.

You agree with the first two statements and then feel like you've been sold a bill of goods. You know "students are lazy." That's why they are students. And professors are lazy too. Even Picasso had those moments drinking wine and chasing after women. What a waste that was!

The Jewish pearls of wisdom are like Buddhist koans. It is easy to buy the idea of not doing things for recompense (or gain), and it is a fine idea to work for the lord (esp. when the lord is defined as "all things"), but how can one do any of this with a fear of Heaven? Is this a fear that if we do things for gain, and we are not ministers of the lord, we'll be struck dead?

Beats me...

...she says I need shoes.

My wife looked at my face as we were going to the mall. "This is worse than a root canal for you, isn't it?"

I got to go to the Apple store, and fell in love with the $69 track pad. But didn't get one. Then went to Brookstone and drew a picture on a Boogie Pad. You can write a note on it... and... well, that's it. So I drew a picture and promptly the salesman erased me. I asked him what he thought he was doing. I said I wanted to take a picture of my picture. So I drew another picture.

Oh, the suit. First I went to Men's Warehouse. They had a two for one sale. I knew I didn't want two suits, so I texted my future son-in-law and asked him if he'd want a suit. He texted back, "get two." I texted back, "daughters or suits." 

Then I went to Macy's and another dept. store. One had an expensive suit, and another a cheap suit that didn't fit. 

Then, on a lark (I suspect I was drugged), I went to Nordstrom and bought some suit. We forgot to photograph me with the pants... but here's "it" with jeans.

I sent this picture to my daughter. She asked about the pants. I told the saleslady that my mom always wanted to buy a suit for me. She said my mom will love it. Mom... Mom... do you love it? 

I then saw tears in my wife's eyes... and asked her what was wrong. She said she was so happy I got a suit. 

And now she says I need shoes. 

THE HEART IS SOVEREIGN

I found this on the web at http://www.sacred-texts.com/jud/wott/wott10.htm

The rabbis were impressed with the profoundly important role that emotions play in life. The heart, which they looked upon as the seat of emotion, was regarded by them the principal source of control over all human actions. "All of man's bodily organs are dependent on the heart," was a Talmudic dictum. It is the heart therefore which may be said to carry responsibility for whatever we do in life. Thus one rabbinic comment offers us the sweeping generalization: "The heart sees, hears, speaks, walks, falls, stands, rejoices, hardens, softens, grieves, fears, is broken, is haughty … persuades, errs, fears, loves, hates, envies, searches, reflects. …"

The rabbis prized highly the ability of some people to control their emotions. To control one's emotions and to bring life under the directing voice of reason was regarded by the rabbis as the mark of true heroism. "Who is a hero?" one rabbi asked in the ethical treatise Abot. His reply was: "He who controls his passion."

I thought it was somewhat contradictory. Loving, hating, envying, and controlling one's passion. I asked my neighbor who has a Ph.D. in Electrical Engineering (but never took a course in the field) about the heart. He said something about the organ that pumps blood.

Is the controlling of passion what the Buddhists call "equanimity?" I hoped to ask the Rabbi tonight, but he didn't come to a meeting (about the environment) at the temple that I went to tonight.

Penny Pincher, Suit Tomorrow, Off the Wagon

Today I decided I would save $1 plus postage and drive to the license bureau to get my new sticker. So I went there and waited in line. Finally I almost got the sticker, but the clerk needed my insurance card. I said it was in my car. She said she'd wait. I went out to my car to get it, brought it back, and, upon inspection, the clerk surmised it was for a different car. Opps! She said I could have faxed the right one... but I started thinking that because I wasn't in the last month before the sticker expires I was getting eleven months for the price of twelve. I ended up leaving to return some Lands End jeans to Sears. They just didn't fit, and they didn't have the kind that did. I asked Sears if they had what I wanted, but the woman at the cash register said I needed to wait for the other woman who had gone to the break room for a Snickers. So I waited a short time and then gave up and went to my car to call my wife to see what I needed to get from the grocery store.

After eating Sunday all the good food left over from a party on Saturday, I decided to get on the wagon this morning. Had one tortilla, a few beans and some veges for breakfast. From there it was down hill, esp. after getting the results of my blood test and seeing how low was my cholesterol.

I bought six salmon steaks for a party of eight tonight. I knew one person is a strict vegan, and I was going to be the second. But at the last moment I cut all the steaks in half, ate a bunch myself, and there was enough left for a snack and then some.

So, like the rest of the human race, I'll try tomorrow to get back on the wagon... which maybe I'll not do tomorrow since cold salmon is my favorite food, or maybe not that wagon.

I asked my wife if tomorrow is suit day, and she said "yes, we don't have much time before we'll need it." Herb sent me the name of a place where you buy a suit and you get the next half of a suit free... or maybe it was the second suit for half price. Unlikely I'll get two suits, having a true need for none. Except my daughter thinks I'll like a suit because the women will all want to dance with me. But I don't like to dance, so my plan for no suit was better than I thought.

Anyway (feeling a lot like Holden Caulfield) I guess tomorrow is the day. Hopefully we'll find some likable and smart salesperson who can find something for me quickly. I've learned patience... but not with shopping.

Situational Ethics

I don't want to buy a suit. My dad left me all these fine suits and I think I just gave the last one to my future son-in-law. They didn't fit. My dad was 20 fewer pounds that I. And they all had stains. My dad got a little sloppy and hard of seeing in his old age (though never sloppy in his thinking).

So Tuesday I'll go get a suit, I guess... My daughter is pretty certain she wants a nice suit walking her down the aisle. It is against my principles to buy clothes other than t-shirts and jeans.

But the situation demands.

Every time my mom and I would walk past some fancy clothes store she'd say, "let me buy you a suit." And I'd say, "no, mom, I don't need it."

Then the situation changed. We had a memorial service for my mom. So I went to Brooks Brothers and bought a jacket. It still works... but it is for cold weather. And it is starting to look a little worn, given that I wore it many many times.

I find that principles are prone to keep me from being alive... from responding to the needs of the moment. We ask people, as a criticism, "don't you have any principles?" Wouldn't it be a good answer, "no, I'm not attached to my preferences?"

How do we act when the signposts are not clearly marked?

I like to think, like the next guy (or gal), that I have principles. Do steal, don't lie, don't cheat. That's what my mother told me. But when she caught me smoking in my room two nights in a row... I told her that Confucius said that sometimes we should lie. She didn't believe me. So we both read through Confucius for a couple of days until one of us found it.

In Buddhism, there is talk of using "skillful means." Does this mean to lie, steal, and cheat? Maybe. If it is the only way to help someone move along the Way.

There is another Buddhist saying that one should not be attached to their preferences. Are preferences "principles." Kindof, sortof. Aren't they?

My mother-in-law said that she votes Republican, no matter what. Even if her favorite granddaughter (she only has one) is running on the Democratic ticket. Geeze, I'd vote for any party if my daughter was running. But then I might try to persuade her not to tow the party line.

I recently wrote about GE and the fact that they didn't pay taxes. Some have principles that rich companies should pay lots of taxes. I'm more of the elk that if they figure out how not to pay taxes, so much the better. But I'm not an advocate of big government.

Or war... but, throwing out principles, I love to see situations where mass murders are averted by military action (if that really was the case in Libya).

So how do we act, without principles? Well, we weight the benefits and consequences of each action and see what is worse... or better. What is difficult is that the signposts are not clearly marked.

GE is not an individual. GE cannot make individual choices. GE cannot be evil or not evil because it is not human.

As I sat this evening I thought about Kate's comments (the title of this post) and also thought about a discussion I had Saturday with a guy where I jumped on him when he said that we weren't computers (I think we are).

From a sociological perspective, a group has a personality like an individual. And so does a company. They do make choices and they can be evil. Just look at a "hanging party."

Individuals are not all that responsible for their choices. They are conditioned to think and feel in certain ways. They are physiologically wired to behave in certain ways... to be nurturing, to be angry, to be selfish.
So are individuals really free spirits? And if they are not, are companies?

And then there is the question of blaming GE because they made use of existing loopholes in the tax law. Since their promise to stockholders was to make a profit, I'm wondering if they'd be shirking their duties if they didn't take advantage of every loophole. People don't invest in GE because they are going to give their profits away. They want dividends or at least reinvestment.

GE paid no taxes... Good for them!

GE made great profits but paid no taxes. They are being deemed evil.

Before you hang them, consider the amount of taxes their employees and stockholders pay. Consider the jobs they create. Consider what we'd be without them.

And evil GE invests money in other countries. That's US dollars that can either go under a mattress, or eventually come back to the US. And, in the meantime, we've helped others. Is that so evil?

See Jon Stewart for more details. Every coin has two sides.

Returned from Taxes

I've been working on tax stuff... trying to get as much as I can back from Uncle Sam. Maybe it will prevent one bullet from being made... and one bullet from being spent. Or maybe the opposite. How can we know?

I went through a period of wanting "thanks"... and then I thought about the times we give food to the Buddha and he doesn't say anything. We should be thanking him because he gives us the opportunity to give. So then I decided just to say thanks... to people who give, and to people who take. Both are gifts. Thanks.

Last night, Pat spoke about anger. I remember a child psychologist who told my parents (when I was a kid and not doing well in school) that I had "extreme hostility toward my dad." It surprised me. I told my dad "did you know about this." He laughed. I thought about that as Pat gave her talk. She said that she didn't think of herself as an angry person... just as a person who sometimes (and justifiably) lets off steam.

I'm noticing lots of anger around me. Lots. Lots of intolerance too. On Facebook, someone was talking about a teacher in Kentucky who was blaming Obama for the recession. Someone wrote about how this was an "untruth." Are there really truths and untruths? Don't you think you could find a very brilliant thinker who would challenge anything we hold to be true. I know a not-so-brilliant thinker who would be glad to do so (me).

One of my classmates the other night said that she was dealing with her hate for Republicans. We were being asked to describe our "tree spirits"... demons that touch our buttons. Usually in the next sentence I hear "and they are so intolerant." Its the pot calling the kettle black. Rage. Rage. Lots of rage in the air.

I'd bring my fire extinguisher next week, but the little dial says, "time for refill."

Suffering: Greed, Hate, and Delusion

We learn from Buddhism that suffering comes from ignorance which breeds greed, hate, and delusion. When we believe that all the good in our life is permanent, and then it changes, we take it personally. We hurt.

And then there is a 9.0 earthquake in Japan. Which was enough, but coupled with a tsunami caused endless suffering that appears to even be impacting Japan's very strong economy.

Is this still an "opportunity for practice?" How does a good Buddhist (if "good" can be applied to a Buddhist) respond?

And what might be a compassionate response? One priest said to me, "I'd say, how can I help?" Most of us suffer. And our suffering borders on the ludicrous compared with those without resources such as water, food, shelter, etc. And what about those who can't venture outside lest they be struck with a bullet or kidnapped for ransom?

The Buddha said that suffering was all around us, and yet unnecessary. If we follow the Eightfold path (he said) we can be freed from suffering. Not from pain. But from suffering. That distinction seems to be the essence here. Suffering is a response to pain. There are others. "How can I help?" or "I'm so sorry for your pain" are others. So perhaps compassion might best be a reaction to pain, not suffering. Helping others to understand the difference might shed some of that suffering. We all know of people in constant pain, yet full of love and happiness, enjoying their life to the fullest extent. And others, with barely a misfortune, who wish they never had stepped foot on earth. Is this a choice we can make? I think so.

Another Question

Last week the gentleman asked if zen would make him a better parent. Today, sitting on the same cushion, a man asked why is sitting worth it when other activities seem to be more profitable considering the time involved.

We used to call these teachable moments. Luckily, I was not the teacher. There wasn't time to discuss my ideas of profit, and a quote from the Bible "what shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul" would not work since you lose your soul in Zen, discovering that the soul (called "self") does not exist.

The teacher did mention that Zen is not a gaining activity (my words). The problem with saying that "sitting will do this for you" is that if people sit for that benefit they might miss the experience while waiting for the award to come. Doing things for the result never work out too well. And if the result doesn't come, we live the rest of life dressed in bitterness.

Then the teacher said that dana (donations) was important). The next thing I know is that a basket was being passed. That didn't feel good to me, especially at a beginners' class. I think we ought to get drug pushers to teach classes in hooking customers. They give the product away until the customer is hooked... and then they start charging—or so I've heard.

In any case, I politely took the basket and passed it on.

What will next week bring?

kim the old man tan hat

How did she know? I went to this Greek restaurant down the street from the Zen center to have dinner. I had a GroupOn coupon... that they wouldn't let me use for lunch. There were three young musicians there singing Greek songs. They were good, but the combination of the concrete floor, the loud music (to my hearing aids), and the bright lights led me to order dinner to take out.

The waitress asked if I'd like a Greek salad with my dinner (which included salad). I said sure. Then she hit me with the bill... I didn't realize the Greek salad was more. No problem... I thought. I'm getting this dinner cheap.

Then she gave me the receipt. It said "kim the old man tan hat." "Holy s..t," I thought. So I asked her if that was supposed to describe "me." "Yes," she said, "it is loud in here so we have to describe people."

I came home and sat down to eat. Soon my wife came home and I asked her if she'd like to share. Then I asked her how anyone would think I'm an old man with a hat covering up my bald head. Unfortunately she told me... my grey sideburns, my posture... at that point I had enough and quit listening.

Austin is a town with mostly young people. I like that... especially when I'm feeling like one of the kids. So if you see me, please tell me how young I look... and don't, please don't, call me "the old man tan hat."

Quitting Zen

I quit zen last week. Cold turkey. It had something to do with the reason I retired... to only do art. Did it feel good! Just like "emptying a tea pot" (my teacher's words today).

Then Saturday I sat in on a beginner's sitting class (which I'm supposed to do three times before teaching such a class). I can't remember why I went... having quit.... except that after the class there was a talk that I wanted to hear by a Qi Gong practitioner. At the class, one of the students asked if studying zen would help him rearing his children?

When I observe a class I try not to talk. But I was intrigued by his question. What a great way to evaluate an activity... will it make me a better parent?

As I looked around the room I saw people who had come there for themselves. Or at least, all of them besides the father who wanted to be a better father. Then I saw myself, four years ago, at my first beginner's class (actually it was one-on-one). I went there for myself. Not because I wanted to be a better parent.

After awhile I couldn't contain myself. Sitting is not something we just do for ourselves, but for all. (I can just hear some saying, "but don't sit for me.") I tried to explain how, if we become quiet, centered, focused, or whatever good might come of our sitting, then we might pass that on to others. And them to others. And not just to people, but to other things... even to the sidewalk. Imagine how good a sidewalk would feel if people didn't just stomp on it.

So my Zen teacher had a jerky mouse today. I tried to fix it on his aging computer. As I waited for some program to download we started talking. That's when he told me about emptying a tea pot.

Mexican Alameda Museum

San Antonio

Two Trees, Two Shadows

Two Trees, Two Shadows by Kim Mosley, 1980

In the old days, I'd take pictures on my walks. Then I'd come back to my studio and paint on them. Now I sit and look at a wall. Tell me, Avalokiteshvara, which is more productive? Oh... this piece is being auctioned at and for the Visual Studies Workshop in Rochester, N.Y., where I studied in the 70s and exhibited in the 80s. Email me (mr@kimmosley.com) if you wish to bid on it and I'll give you more info.

Last day for bandage.

Left Wimberly for Burmese sticky rice festival

Illuminated Feeding Doe / My Shady Past

 

I found this at Goodwill. It reminded me of http://www.wimp.com/kineticsculpture/ 

And then, at dinner, I heard about a Texas who shot a buck he saw on the side of the road "because he couldn't help himself." He received a big fine because it was not hunting season.

I'm investigating some of my more shady past. Fascinating to hear about something all your life and then, thanks to the digitizing of newspapers and some energetic relatives, finally to be able to read about it. I'm sure, if I had any pride, I'd keep this all a secret. But I guess I don't.

So here it is: Sam Sax, Arson Trust

Looking at Kim

Tomorrow will be a calm day, won't it?

Finally today, on the second try, got to speak to the help desk. Presto, I was monkeying with the printer while I was waiting and the darn thing fixed itself. I basically couldn't claim any issues except that their printer was a piece of junk and I've spent more time on it than any other printer in any of my lifetimes.

There was an issue with a cartridge from OfficeMax that was showing 20% full, so I exchanged it for another which was also 20% full so I asked to exchange it for another, but by Brother rather than remanufactured. This one also measured 20%. I didn't think I should pay any more for the third cartridge and they did... so I called the district manager and he told them to give it to me. I did finally figure out that it was the printer, and not the cartridges that only 20% full... so I called OfficeMax and told them I was wrong.

Then tonight a full-moon ceremony to celebrate the full-moon, the end of the Chinese New Year celebration, and last, but not least, a renewal of vows. We talked about "no anger" which was hard for me because I'm not too good at anger... though I do get angry sometimes when I'm talking to a recorded message and they don't stop and listen. My wife asked me why I was yelling. It was pretty funny... and sad.

Tomorrow will be a calm day, won't it?

Eureka and Sisyphus

Some of you have heard of the myth of Sisyphus, the original existential hero, who angered the Gods when he begged to come back to earth for a short visit... and then refused to return to the afterlife.

Today my job was to call computer companies, and just when they were able to help me on a couple of issues, the iPhone would drop the call. I'd hold for about 10 minutes, then be told that I needed a Mac specialist. Then another 10 minutes. If I was lucky, I would start a conversation with the Mac specialist. If I wasn't, I'd be dropped after another 10 minutes.

Though most of this holding on occurred in the office of a Zen temple, I was not in a Zen mood, nor were the two priests in the room, one of who needed me to be done with my task. They were talking in their normal (somewhat loud) voices, and I was trying to understand people whose second language was English.

Finally I tried another solution and it worked. Yea! It is not my favorite solution, but, by God, it works. So tomorrow I can go look at ART and hopefully all will be happy.

Yea. I was much luckier that Sisyphus, who was given an eternal job as punishment of pushing a boulder up a hill each day, only for the boulder to fall down each evening. Hope no boulders will be at the bottom of the hill tomorrow.

Zen Dilemma

Saturday I heard a dharma talk, where the speaker said that if we saw things clearly, we would see them "as they are." I've mentioned before that Suzuki called this, "as it is." At first his students, confident in their native English tongue, would correct him. But he would insist, "as it is." To me, this designates that there is only one thing, and therefore "it" is the correct word.

In any case, I wondered if a number of people all looked in the same direction and all saw things as they are (or as it is), would they all see the same thing? I asked the speaker. He didn't think so. I also wondered if they would make art if they got rid of their ego. He said, no, he didn't mean that and sometime he'd give a talk about why the ego is good. There is the story about all these photographers who photographed the same mountain from the same vantage point and all the photos looked completely different.

So we have the world we construct, and then we have the world we see when we are not constructing. How can it be that we'd all see the non-constructed real world differently? What would account for the differences?

Stepping Out on my Wife

She's out of town so I'm at Pokejo's. Some of you might wonder what happened to my vegan sensibility. Well, it has been diminishing. First there was the rationalization that the meat eats veges, or eats animals that eat veges, so when you eat meat you are really just eating veges.

Then, not quite satisfied with that as an excuse, I decided that I could eat meat if I was sensitive to the fact that these creatures had give their life for me (as Christ did?). But soon I was enjoying the meat and forgetting about the compassion.

Later I was noticing that I was feeling better eating meat. Is that why the Dalai Lama's doc prescribed meat for his patient?

And tonight my wife and I went to dinner, and I had a vege bento plate (salad, vege tempuri, brown rice, vege egg rolls, and miso soup. Yum! I had been a little sick of the vege stuff... and needed a break. Glad she's back home (wife and veges).

Trigger Thumb Surgery

Hand is identified.


Surgeon signs his work. Before cutting, but after the numbing shot.


Voila! It bends.


He said it works 3000 out of 3000 times. So far, so good... yea!

Two-timing Tabby, Facing the wall, and Thich Nhat Hanh

As I ponder whether anything can be in two places at once, I received a couple of emails today, both to elists. The first was from the Rosedale (Austin) elist:

Are we sharing a brown tabby, neutered male, fourteen pounds? Sits like a buddha cat when grooming; mews rather than meows? Can't figure out how he could be so fat when you have him on a diet? I have a cat of this description who disappears some nights and some days, with no pattern to his comings and goings. Might he have been missing yesterday in the day time, but at your house overnight? Was your tabby home safe and sound the night last week when the rain storm blew in, but then disappeared the next morning to go missing in action during the snow storm? I know my cat is capable of such duplicity; he abandoned his previous owners from across the street and adopted us three years ago.

If you're suspicious your cat is two-timing you, contact me off list and we can compare cat notes.

and the second, from the Missouri Zen Center:

When you are facing the wall, it will not matter where you are."

Then at lunch, a priest talked about Thich Nhat Hanh, who is very difficult to visit, and who meditates 14 hours a day. She said that he doesn't see himself as somewhere, but rather everywhere. Is this what quantum physics is all about?

P.S. This was all spurred on by William, the scientist, who was in Canada when he witnessed my wedding in Peoria.

I just received an email from William, thanking me for the .pdf I sent him of the document he signed and said that he'd show it to his friends as evidence of his past life. He didn't explain how he could have signed it without being there. I'm assuming he decided that he was mistaken about being in Canada.

Ruining the good with the bad.

Sometimes it isn't just good enough. She found a gentle skilled dentist to do a crown/root canal. She found out that she didn't need the root canal from his recommended endodontist, And he charged less than the old dentist. Good, right?

Then she discovered, too late, that she could have saved a little by paying by check instead of a charge card. Always ask if they give you a discount for a check if you can afford it. So what should have been a situation for great rejoicing was somewhat hampered by regret.

Is there ever a situation that isn't like this? What is that about? Just when you fall in love with a restaurant the priest tells you that he walked by and saw them sweeping the tables with a floor broom (I couldn't go back.) How many situations are like that? Something you know about someone that keeps you from liking them. Or you can't enjoy a donut (it was free too) because it had a lot of calories.

Are you just suppose to overlook the bad? Or not get attached to the good? I'm stuck... just realizing what a bad habit this is... and not knowing how to change.  Any solutions here?

I gave at the office...

So someone comes to your door asking you to give to United Way. You say, "I gave at the office." If the volunteer is a trusting soul, they will think you gave to United Way at the office. But suppose you meant it a little differently. Suppose you make bread. Is that giving at the office?

Yes, even if you only make bread to make money. You are performing a great service to humanity by providing people the opportunity for good food. Buddhists call this "right livelihood." See Jack Kornfield's description here.

The discussion about whether companies should be charitable is rather superfluous if the company is producing a good or service that benefits others (or even themselves). What might benefit others is open for interpretation. Though Michelle Obama (and Kim too) might disagree, some might determine that donuts benefit beings (perhaps by alleviating suffering). In any case, most businesses earn money by making our lives better. They are "charitable." No, it doesn't "hurt" them when they give. But why is that necessary? I'm thrilled that Apple makes an Iphone. Did they do it because they love me, or because they feel sorry for me? Of course not. It was just "greed." And I love them for it.

The social responsibility of business is to increase its profits.

Some take this famous quote by Milton Friedman as "infamous." They think, how could anyone be so crass?  Is it ok to make a profit and pollute?

Friedman was not intimidated by these arguments. It is bad for profits to ruin one's reputation. And polluting would do that. His primary argument is that we usually become shareholders in a company so that we'll earn a good rate of return. When we want to give to charity, we do that as a separate action.

Here's a chart (from the Economist) showing how various countries chime in on Friedman's mantra. It was done by asking well-education high wage earners in each country.

I wonder (much more difficult to determine) what their actions would reflect. Often we don't do as we say we do.

If you'd ask Friedman about whether businesses actually benefit society best when when they make a profit, he'd nod to the affirmative, indicating that's the beauty of the free market. Goods and services are created, innovation occurs, jobs are created, and everyone is better off.

Happy 100 birthday, Ronald Reagan (who carried Capitalism and Freedom) in his coat pocket.

Ms. Annie... Marriage on the Rocks again

Two days ago I was married to Linda, yesterday Ann, and then last night we decided it would be Ms. Annie. If people change, why shouldn't their names change too?

Then today I received an email from the one living witness. He said that he couldn't have been a witness because he hadn't arrived in Illinois from Canada until the next month in September 1969 (we were married Aug. 4th).

Today, in a dharma talk, the priest talked about how, in sub-atomic physics, a particle can be in two places at once. I'm assuming that, because we are made of particles, we too can be of two places at once.

My friend thinks he knows a lot about science. I know nothing, having barely passed most of my science courses. But I suspect that they (scientists) really know very little about anything. Every generation has felt that they understood and that the last generation did not. Why is that not still the case?

As they say, it is all a big mystery.

So now I'll send my friend a .pdf of the certificate that he signed and see if he'll change his mind about which country he was in 41 years ago. Suppose that he can prove that he really was in Canada. Then what will we do?

In case you haven't realized it, this is mostly about what do we really know (very little?). We take a whole lot on faith and on the accuracy of our memories. I did need to prove that we were married, and for now, that task has been accomplished unless my friend talks to the Austin officials.

Then our marriage will really be on the rocks.

Make a Plan and Watch God Laugh

So this guy was going to operate on my thumb this am, but the snow and ice were too much. So I'll either reschedule or cancel or postpone. They used to call me "jelly Mosley" because I'd change my mind so often. So we'll see. My thumb gets better on its own every day... so maybe I should wait.

When I made the appointment two weeks ago I would have never imagined not going because of snow. In fact, the nurse called this morning and said, "are you still coming." I hadn't looked out the window, so I said, "why do you ask that?" Then I looked and understood.

Think how minuscule my thumb is to Egypt's woes. Or you jam your toe, and someone else gets hit by a Molotov cocktail. Each is preoccupied with their disaster. Life is funny that way.

Last night I started calling my wife by her middle name (Ann). I thought that would celebrate our changing natures. Why should we not change our names since everything else about us change? Except maybe my "jellyness."

Thumb

Tomorrow AM they are going to work on my thumb.
Wish me luck!

If I were into anything more dangerous...

 

http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=10859998734&topic=5460 talks about this particular type of pig. Is it something special? I don't know.

But the price is. 

I'm back to eating meat (and hating myself for it). It is so good though. I feel like I'm "led into temptation" or, as my mom said, "going to hell in a hand-basket." 

The price of the ham reminds me of the Twilight Zone episode where the man goes to sleep for 100 years, wakes up to realize that his stock has gone up 1000x. So then he calls his broker. (My memory is fuzzy... I know that the broker must be dead.) Anyway, he is told by the operator, "please deposit $1000 for the first three minutes." So his earnings were wiped out by inflation.

And then there was the movie, The Freshman, about a club for the elite that served exotic and endangered species. It was gluttony at its worst.

And tonight I heard that Suzuki Roshi, the San Francisco priest, would buy the bruised fruits and vegetables because he worried that no one else would.

I understand why Odysseus had the sailors tie him to the pole so he wouldn't lead the ship into the rocks when the sirens sang. I feel like I hear sirens when I smell great food. Glad I'm not into anything more dangerous. I'd be a goner. And glad I'm cheap, or I'd be eating ham for dinner.

A No-Brainer?

Ok, I admit it. My goal in life is to show how no brainers aren't. 

Being notified is a wonderful challenge for a software engineer. You could have an application on your computer that would monitor your usage and tell you how you are doing. I have an app on my iphone called "My Wireless" and I can change my plan anytime so I don't run over.

You might be thinking that most people are too stupid to use such a program. If so, it is only because we are doing too much protecting.

It is the same old slippery slope to tell banks and phone companies how they need to protect their customers. Are we going to tell stock brokers that people need 40% of their portfolio to be bonds? Probably not bad advice, but shouldn't someone have the right to take more chances?

Did I opt to take advantage of the debit card law that we have to be notified if we go over. Sure. If the damage is done I'll use it. I asked a banker a few years ago how come they can afford to give me a couple of hundred dollars  to open an account. He said that it was from the proceeds of people overdrawing their accounts.

I believe that having the information of one's balance is important. But it is dangerous to make this the government's role.

Kim

On Tue, Feb 1, 2011 at 2:22 PM, a friend sent this email:

   

Dear Friend,

Forward this email to FIVE friends now!
Tell friends to lend their voice so they can be alerted before they go over their wireless plan limit.

Let's make sure the wireless companies hear us loud and clear!
We have 10 days to possibly change how your cell phone company does business – and save you some real money.

The deadline is looming for consumers like you to weigh in on a proposal to make wireless companies notify you BEFORE you go over your plan limits – helping end cell phone bill shock!

This 'no-brainer' idea could save you hundreds of dollars in overage charges, and give you control over your wireless bill. Let’s make sure the FCC hears by the Feb. 11 deadline from the tens of thousands of you who want to be alerted before you hit your plan limit, so you can decide what you pay.

Click here to send an email to the FCC now – then forward this to FIVE friends so they can do the same!

Overage charges add up – our September survey found that half of respondents who said they were hit with an unexpected bill paid at least $50 in overage charges. Consumer Reports calls the FCC's proposal to have companies send you a text before you go over-limit a “no-brainer that should be a snap for today’s sophisticated smart phones.”

Of course, the wireless industry is fighting this proposal tooth and nail. They even claim it violates the First Amendment because it’s “burdensome” for them to send you a text when your limit is near. Interesting, considering they now text you deals and offers tailored to your account. And the European Union recently started requiring similar alerts, and they appear to work well.

Add your voice to our FCC petition, and then tell FIVE friends to do the same!

It’s going to take a consumer tidal wave to counter the powerful wireless industry. Help us get the word out about this proposal by forwarding this message to at least five friends so they can add their voice by Feb. 11! The FCC will consider consumer input before making a final decision, expected in the next few months.

It’s time you – not the cell phone companies – had control over your wireless bill!

Sincerely,
Parul Desai
HearUsNow.org, a project of Consumers Union
1101 17th Street NW, Suite 500
Washington, DC 20036

The One Stooge

I was plumbing today. My job was to fix a dripping faucet. In the process I hit some drain pipes and knocked them apart. The water in the sink started coming down the drain onto a cabinet. Over and over again I'd sponge it up with a paper towel, and then squeezed the water into the sink. Down it would come again. Where's my wife? How can I call a plumber? Where's a bucket? Help! This went on for about 1/2 of an hour when I finally realized that I was the culprit, putting water in the sink that was then falling onto the floor of the cabinet. Stupid? Funny? Don't laugh... please!

Openness, transparency, very very married.

When we were working on developing a vision for distance learning, we realized that the continuum was a much better model that having some classes in the distance mode and others not. In the same way, some individuals are very married to another, while some are very unmarried. It is unlike pregnancy (no one is a little pregnant).

Maybe at the beginning of a marriage some think they are very married, and, in the realm of anything being possible, I guess that might be possible. One of the last things my dad said was that now he can be with my mom [in the sky]. That certainly is on the end of the continuum that represents "very very married."

Betty gave a talk yesterday on openness. I asked a question about the relationship of openness and transparency.  I should be more open about how I am better at asking questions than at listening to the answers. I'm not as good as others at digesting information. Part of this is probably physiological, and the other part is that I want to fully chew things before I swallow them. And the process of chewing interferes with the listening.

In any case, openness seems like an action while transparency is a state of being. A forest is transparent in that it is all before your senses. But it is neither open nor closed. Openness is something you do. Transparency is something you can be. Maybe it is like naked or nude. Openness is when you take your clothes off and you are naked. Nude is that natural state of being without clothes and being transparent.

Do others see this differently?

Marriage. Ceased to exist?

Thanks to all who congratulated me on my change of status. Did my status really change? I am a little more sure of my status than I was a week ago. So I guess my status did change.

We have a sloppy language when it comes to marriage. My wife and I got married by making a life together over 41+ years. My daughter is getting married in May, but will she then be married? To what extent is someone married when they get married.

Then there is the issue of truth being a construct of what we believe. We believe our experiences. But when we go to a magic show and see the beautiful nymph sawed in half do we believe that? No. Is that an exception? Can we trust experience? I was suspicious last week that my experience of being married was not proof that I was married.

We have friends who say they like us? Do we believe them? We see a sticker on a car that it will go 31 mpg. Do we believe that? Some are told that when they die we'll have access to 27 virgins? Do even the most devout really believe that?

We live in a world that is in our head. Yet be operate as if the world is "out there." We drive into a tree and we don't stop in time. What did we hit? A tree? Some particles that congregate to form the illusion of a tree in our mind. Maybe.

If the county really wanted to know if I was married what could they say or do? And what happens to all those licenses when someone gets divorced. Do they stamp them "ceased to exist?"

Is it Art? Is it Real?

I spent much of today with my body contorted, my mind high on a muscle relaxant and Aleve. Finally went to a good doc. who straighten me out and even ran shocks through my body which seemed like being in a hot tub. I sure appreciate being "straight" again after waking up so crooked.

I wondered about Michelangelo's David. It is not easy in Florence to find David. He is tucked away in a labyrinth of  narrow streets, and you are risking life and limb walking because of the motor scooters that you are dodging.

I imagined that some might find the wrong place where, instead of the real David, they find a perfect copy. People, not knowing that it was not David, would admire it just the same as if it were real. Believing something is real is necessary for the experience. It doesn't need to be real.

Yet, in terms of economics, one is priceless and the other is not. Though one could be just as good as the other.

The famed Japanese printmaker, Munakata, said that when he is asked to authenticate his work, he detected the fakes because they are too good. In this case, the buyer might pay more for a lesser work of art. Munakata also said that he didn't like sharp knives because he was afraid he'd cut himself.

So we stand in front of one thing and say that it is so wonderful, and in front of another and say that it is a copy of something so wonderful. What is really the difference? Is this another example of how much we make up in our heads?

The Knot is Tied

The certificate came today, with a seal and signatures. We are now legal. Yea. My son called and asked what this is all about. I explained that we didn't know if we were really married. This was pre-computer. Yet they had the original. Yea for Peoria. I said that without proof marriage is just in your head. He asked, "what about with proof." I said it was still just in your head.

I was thinking of the butterfly effect when I was sitting zazen today. Without much thought, or at least thought that I don't remember, we went in 1969 to the Peoria Justice of the Peace to get a marriage license. Between that time and today we created and altered lives, some negatively and some positively. And this rather random act of getting "hitched" caused countless changes in the universe. I was contemplating some of those changes today.