Friday, October 29, 2010

Funny Feelings and other Meanderings

It gives me a funny feeling voting a week before the election. Suppose I don't live that long. Would they still count my vote?

I'm in my second comedy class now (almost my third because I'm also "sitting in" on a class.) And I still don't know what makes something funny. But I do love the contrast to Zen, which isn't funny...yet. Maybe one day I'll figure out the humor there. What is funny about "Death comes unexpectedly, How can we bargain with it" (Bodhidharma)? Yikes, saying that is a little funny, especially as we are personifying death... and talking about "it" with a deep raspy voice.

If your dad acted like Archie Bunker you'd leave home as soon as you could. Yet, seeing your dad in Archie Bunker makes you laugh. What gives here? I saw a sketch the other night where a woman was a new clerk in some kind of government office, trying to be conscientious and nice to the public (lots of smiles), while at the same time enduring devastating criticism from the peanut gallery. She flipped back and forth between the two roles, entertaining the audience to the highest degree.

I had a strange thought today. What if I was okay just as I am? Not even perfect, as Buddhism teaches (though needing a little improvement)... but just okay... not needing to change or improve.

Geeze, we imagine that our heros (Robert Frost comes to mind) couldn't be any better that how they were or are. We couldn't imaging Robert Frost wanting to change who he was one iota (whatever "iota' is). But then we have all heard about revered accomplished people who carried around a lot of insecurity. I remember the story of Jane Fonda confessing to Katherine Hepburn how frightened she was on a set (especially on set with Katherine in On Golden Pond. Katherine Hepburn then told Jane how petrified also she was each time she walks onto a set...even that she'd often lose her lunch. So I don't know where this "okay" will take me. It is funny how we normally don't think others are not okay with who they are. They all put up such good fronts. And we love them for just as they are, not for something they might become.

If you buy a penny stock, you like it for what it might become (i.e. Sun, Ford, or Sprint). But the people we know and like are generally just right... for us, but sometimes not for them.

Now back to the voting thing that I'm going to over-think a little more. Not really, but I was thinking about a march for or about something (march for peace). If you have 1000 people, no one staying home makes a difference. And take pollution. It doesn't ruin the countryside if you throw your wrapper out the car window. Yet we don't do it (hopefully) because of the cumulative effect of everyone doing it. I eat something and leave a dish on the sink. It doesn't make the kitchen look like a pigsty. Or we eat one hamburger. Are we then responsible for the cows that create 20% of the world's pollution? And on and on. It is an honest to goodness quagmire... how all these minuscule acts add up to have such powerful consequences.


Anonymous said...

Kim, Your thinking is so deep and convoluted, I worry about your brain exploding. I wnat you to be happy just being the kind and decent man you are. H.

Kim Mosley said...

I'm more worried about the cargo planes... than my brain. Or maybe I could hire out my brain to some terrorist group... it might become the new weapon of choice.

Kate Freeman said...

I watch Chef Ramsey. I find this guy completely fascinating (in a sick way, like I find Nazis interesting). All his stupid reality shows are basically the same formula played out just a bit differently.

First he learns about the people going on his show. Is she proud of being a young entrepreneur? Is he self-conscience about his weight? Does she take pride in her teaching?

Then he systematically tears peoples' identities apart. “YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW TO RUN A BUISNESS! YOU CALL YOUSELF A BUISNESS WOMAN? YOU’RE JUST A STUPID KID!” “We all get to ride sedge ways, but since you’re too heavy to ride a sedge way, you have to ride this bike.” (Naturally the child’s bike is grossly undersized for a grown man making him feel even bigger). “HOW CAN YOU TEACH ANYBODY YOU STUPID COW?” Etc.

People either break or they don’t. If they do not break, they get kicked off the show quickly. But of course many do break. They begin to believe this man who is screaming nonsense at them.

Once they break, Chef Ramsey can fix them. After he has torn them up and broken their spirit, he will become their savior and show them how to live correctly. And they all buy into it. Then he can say common sense things, and they think he is profound. They dance around trying their best to get some kind of complement from him. They want his approval so bad.

What I find most odd about his show is how quickly people will start saying things like, “He’s like a father to me.” It’s really strange how many people call this man ‘father’. A term that is often associated with God, the priest, the (so-called) head of a household. Chef Ramsey (a reality show freak) becomes father to them.

There are so many times in watching this show that I just want to hug these people and tell them that he is not their father and that they were not broken until he entered their life. Two people have killed themselves after being on one of his shows. It doesn’t surprise me.

Ramsey makes me realize that I am not broken. People try to make you feel broken in order to manipulate you.

Joshua, 1980